Fired

By Euan Sharman
Based on the concept by /u/lamqta
Black screen
DANIEL JOHNSON VO
Some people work hard all their lives and they make it. Others just
win the lottery. Screw those guys, here I am working my ass off to
keep my alcoholic mother inebriated while they sit on their throne
of lottery cash.
The screen fades from black into the scene of an office with the
DANIEL JOHNSON up front facing the camera.
Int. desk in an office Day
Daniel is working at his desk, doing paperwork. His boss approaches
from behind and to the right.
BOSS #1
Daniel, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but were going to have
to let you go.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Er.. but why? Ive done all my work and Ive even done Jim, the
receptionists work.
BOSS #1
Very well, but your work is not up to scratch, you have 1 hour to
clear your desk and hand in your ID. Well still pay you for the
contractual notice period of one week.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Is there nothing I can do to change this?
BOSS #1
Nope, see you around Danny boy.

Boss #1 starts to walk away back towards his office.

Daniel begins to pack his things into a box and muttering slurs
about his boss. This was his first job, how does he go about getting
another one?
DANIEL JOHNSON
*undecipherable slurring and muttering*

The boss pops his head around a corner trying to find out if his
name had been said.

BOSS #1
Did you say something Dan?
DANIEL JOHNSON
No Dave.
The boss quickly goes back around the corner as he has work to be
doing.
INT. office day
DANIEL JOHNSON VO
What kind of person applies for the job of a bin-man voluntarily? I
have sunk to a new low. Urgh this is the damn office and it sinks, I
dont even want to know what the trucks smell like.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Hi Im here for the interview.
BOSS #2
Ah yes, sorry whats your name?
DANIEL JOHNSON
Er John Da..I mean Daniel Johnson sir.
BOSS #2
Okay John please go take a seat over there and I will be with you in
a second.
Daniel walks over to seat by the desk and sits down, he is clearly
confused as to why he was just called John.
DANIEL JOHNSON VO
Did he just call me John? My name is Daniel goddammit!
Boss #2 takes his seat behind the desk facing Daniel; he gives him a
death stare for a few seconds before speaking.
BOSS #2
So what intrigues you about street cleaning and way of life of the
bin men?
DANIEL JOHNSON VO
Is there really anything to like about being a bin man?
Daniel puts on his most determined and concentrated face that he can
to try and put effort into this lie.

DANIEL JOHNSON

Honestly, ever since I was young I have admired the bin men, they do
a job that not many others want to do and they take pride in it.
Ive always felt that these men and women of the street cleaning
career are hard working individuals that many people take for
granted, they are brilliant in what they do and without them, many
things would grind to a halt. That is why I would like to take up
the responsibility of the job.
BOSS #2
That is truly something, no one has ever given a speech like that
before, its almost as if youre being deliberately deceitful.
Daniel now becomes visibly worried and anxious; he thinks that the
boss is on to him. He must cover his tracks without being
suspicious. He manages to squeeze out an awkward laugh.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Haha no.
Boss #2 musters a sly smile and shifts back in his seat.
BOSS #2
But obviously youre speaking the truth; no liar could come up with
something like that. Over the years I have interviewed, declined and
accepted, even ignored many candidates for jobs around this
establishment, today alone I have interviewed four others and
honestly you are on top. You can have the job, but only if you want
it.
DANIEL JOHNSON VO
HOLY COW! He fell for it. I am truly a master of lies.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Of course I want it, Id be an idiot to deny my ambitions.
BOSS #2
Great, see you Monday.
Monday comes around and Daniel is at work ready to go. A fellow bin
man comes up to him standing around by a pile of trash.
DAVE
Alright mate, youre the new kid arent ya. Im Dave Head
rubbisheer. Now first things first, you aint goin on the truck
today, you dont get that on your first day.
Daniel looks uneasy and slightly scared as the big, beefy DAVE
towers over him and gives him orders.
DAVE
Were avin you on the trash compactor, eres a brush.
Dave thrusts a brush onto Daniel, forcing him to take it.

DANIEL JOHNSON
Er We?
DAVE
Yeah we, us, the seniors. Thats my team over there.
Daniel and Dave look over to the right where four scary looking and
quite ugly guys stand in line.
DAVE
Thats Bill, Mike, Alan and Tim. You mess us around and yer dead
meat son. You got that?
Daniel is visibly scared, hes cowering slightly and shaking.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Y..yeah I th..think I get it.
DAVE
Theres no fink bout it, Daniel. You do or ya dont.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Got it.
DAVE
Right then.
The two exchange a handshake, Dave crushing Daniels hand while he
hides that he is in pain. DAVE walks over to the truck and gets in.
Daniel heads over to a big pile of rubbish and starts to sweep it
up.
DANIEL JOHNSON VO
I cant do this, theyre gonna murder me. Its times like this when
I was I had a dad, he would defend me.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Screw this!
Daniel throws down the brush onto the pile of trash out of slight
terror. He looks around swiftly and sprints out of the compound.

Int. Shop floor day.

DANIEL JOHNSON VO
So here I am, applying for my third job, does he actually believe
that all the past experiences on that CV are real? I never actually
worked at Apple and I never volunteered at the Orphanage.

Daniel is clearly expressing what he is thinking through his facial

expressions, looking very worried and anxious.
BOSS #3
So it says here you volunteered at ST Gerards Orphanage down town.
What did you do there exactly?
Daniel clearly looks worried now while the BOSS #2 is looking happy
and expectantly for an answer.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Well every Monday I would bring in a box of biscuits for the kids to
share, and wed sit and watch Scrubs together. They loved it and I
got my fill of J.D. and Turk, you just gotta love those guys
although it was against the house rules. The experience overall was
very fulfilling and I wouldnt trade those memories for the world.
BOSS #3
So how come you dont work there anymore?
DANIEL JOHNSON
Well as I said it was against the house rules and one day one of the
other carers walked in and reported me. That was the end of that
saga in my life. However Im just glad I got to give those poor
children an opportunity for fun and excitement in that home.
BOSS #3
Lets just hope you can give our customers that same care and
attention you gave the kids, Ill put you onto a trial period of a
month. When can you start?
DANIEL JOHNSON
Right now, if thats okay of course?
Daniel is now elated and has a clear smile on his face that he is
trying to suppress. The boss, also seems like he has made a new
friend and colleague.

BOSS #3
That is fine, you can stay in the clothes youre in now, and your
first job is to move the boxes from the stock room to the shop floor
and unpack them. Think you can do that?
DANIEL JOHNSON
Sure I can.

BOSS #3

Oh and Daniel, just remember youre on a trial period that means

we can let you go with next to no notice.
Daniel suddenly looks nervous and worried, as he doesnt have a
great history of keeping jobs.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Okay, hopefully you wont have to do that.

DANIEL JOHNSON VO
The first job I applied for since my lay-off and I got in, even with
that stupid Scrubs story. How in the world he believed that I dont
know. Any hoo, I got some crisps to unbox.
INT. Aisle inside of a shop day
Daniel is kneeling next to a box of crisps packing them into the
shelves as his manager approaches. Daniel clearly has a crush on
this woman as it shows in his eyes and voice.
APRIL TAYLOR
Daniel is it? Youre the new guy right? Im April, your manager. If
youd like to follow me Ill show you to the till youll be working
for now.
The manager turns around and starts to walk towards the tills,
Daniel stands up from his kneeling position and follows her.
DANIEL JOHNSON VO
Oh my god, this woman is literally Cleopatra. Play it cool Dan, play
it cool.
Daniel starts to walk strangely behind her as if he has to control
each limb separately and as if walking is a new concept.

DANIEL JOHNSON
Nice to meet you, I would introduce myself but you seem to already
know everything about me.
April looks surprised by the humorous reply that Daniel provided.
APRIL TAYLOR
So we have a smooth talker on the team, keep that up and you might
be able to keep your tongue.

EXT. Outside of a shop day

Customers can be seen entering and exiting the shopping, the scene
is fast-forwarded.
INT. shop tills day
Daniel is serving a customer and acting happily and smiling. April
approaches and the smile on Daniel's face disappears.

APRIL TAYLOR
Dan, can we talk please?

DANIEL JOHNSON
We're talking right now aren't we?
April gives Daniel a stern look and he instantly knows this isn't a
joking situation.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Oh yeah of course we can, give me a minute to finish up here.
Daniel scans the last of a customers items and charges them the
correct amount. As the customer leaves Daniel closes down his till,
stands up and walks over to April.
DANIEL JOHNSON
So what did you want to talk to me about?
April looks Daniel up and down then sighs.
APRIL TAYLOR
I didnt want to have to say this, but over the past few days your
work has been astounding, were hiring you. Honestly my first
impression of you was that youre a loser, keep proving me wrong.

Daniel suddenly brightens up and stands up straight. He has just

been told fantastic news and is mentally celebrating it.

DANIEL JOHNSON
Oh really? You thought I was a loser? Well would a loser ask
something like this? Do you want to get dinner some time?

APRIL TAYLOR
Well that was totally unexpected, especially from a loser such as
you, but yes I will, you can pick me up at eight.

Daniel is almost stunned by his courage and the response. He turns

around and does a quick air fist pump.
DANIEL JOHNSON VO
Holy shit that actually worked, Im getting lucky with these now. I
could be the Barney Stinson of Britain. Wow just wow!

INT. table inside of a restaurant evening

April and Daniel are both sat at their respective sides of the table
with food in front of both of them. April seems content with the
situation but out of place on a date with an employee, Daniel
however is nervous.
DANIEL JOHNSON
This is my first date with anyone.
APRIL TAYLOR
So this is a date then. I cant imagine you never having a date
before. Secretly, I think youre quite handsome.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Well back in school, I was a bit of a loser; personally I still
think I am.
APRIL TAYLOR
Oh Daniel, youre not a loser. Why did you apply to work at Knotts
then, its a right dive.
Daniel finished his mouthful of pasta and mms a few times.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Good question, Ive actually only worked at about two other places,
the first was an office job where with next to no reasoning I was
fired and the second was a bin man.
April takes a sip from her drink while Daniel speaks.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Well I wasnt fired exactly at the recycle centre, it was more of an
abrupt sprinting away.
April spits some of her drink out and laughs at Daniel, he laughs
with her.

APRIL TAYLOR
Are you telling me, you literally ran away from a job? How can it be
that bad?

DANIEL JOHNSON
Well just imagine working in the seventh realm of hell and Satan
himself is your boss, with Gaddafi, Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin as
his team.
APRIL TAYLOR
Oh wow and I thought our boss was bad, youre lucky, he goes through
me and then I relay it to you, but in a nicer way.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Well thanks for covering my back then, how long have you worked at
Knotts then?
APRIL TAYLOR
Since I was 16, our boss, Mike, is my uncle. I worked there as a
cashier for a year and then was promoted to store manager. Ive
always hated it but it was good money, I have a dream of opening my
own store in the town, just a general goods store. Like you know in
the movies when the town or village has a family run general store,
Ive always found them really sweet and wanted one of my own.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Well, I always wanted to open a cycle shop, one of the few memories
of my dad was in his own one, Johnsons Cycles. He died when I was
young, I still have his bike in my garage along with his old tools.
After his death my mum tried to be strong then just broke and it was
all down hill for her. Shes struggled with alcoholism since and I
have to go job to job just to support her, I wish I could find a way
to help her. Shell be sat at home now in front of the TV or at the
table and in her hand will be a bottle.
Daniel starts to become teary eyed and lowers his head so that his
face isnt visible to April, who is also glassy eyed now. She speaks
softly and calmly to him.

APRIL TAYLOR
Oh, I never knew it was so hard for you. Okay lets go then.
Both Daniel and April stand up and exit the restaurant.
EXT. STREET NIGHT
Daniel and April are walking down the middle of the road together.
Daniel has his hands in his pockets while April has her arms to her
sides and wears gloves.
APRIL TAYLOR
I have an idea.
Daniel slowly lifts his head and makes eye contact with April.
DANIEL JOHNSON

Oh? What is it?

APRIL TAYLOR
Why dont we come together as partners and open our own store, we
could repair and sell bikes and also sell other things, like fresh
fruit and veg and tins and stuff. We could call it Taylor &
Johnsons or something. Just imagine that, we could make it big
Daniel.
DANIEL JOHNSON
I..I dont know, I like the idea and all. Its just..
April jumps in quickly before Daniel can finish his sentence.
APRIL TAYLOR
Its just what Dan?
DANIEL JOHNSON
Its just Ive never been good at anything, Ive never had something
to call my own or anyone look up to me before.
Daniel looks sorry for himself while April looks at him adoringly.
APRIL TAYLOR
Daniel, youll be fine, we can do this together. You scratch my back
and Ill scratch yours.
April stops and Daniel realizes and stops then turns to face her.
DANIEL JOHNSON
Okay, I can do this. We can do this.
The pair stare into each others eyes as Daniel leans his head in
awkwardly. April lifts her head up to his and they both share a
passionate kiss.

APRIL TAYLOR
That That was nice. Unexpected, but nice.
DANIEL JOHNSON
I shouldnt have done that, youre my boss, Im yourApril silences Daniels apology with another kiss, they are now
standing in the middle of an empty road kissing.
DANIEL JOHNSON
UhOh so does this make us a thing?
APRIL TAYLOR
Id like it to.
Daniel smiles and April smiles back and lets out a childish giggle.
She puts her arms over his head and kisses him again.

INT. Taylor & Johnsons Store DAY

Daniel can be seen in the back working on a bike that has one wheel
missing. He is surrounded by parts and other things relating to
bikes. April is in the foreground behind a counter putting items on
to a shelf. April shouts to Daniel.
APRIL TAYLOR
Daniel, can you come over here and help me please?
Daniel looks up and heads over to the counter.
DANIEL JOHNSON
What do you need me to do?
APRIL TAYLOR
Just put these cans up there please.
As Daniel takes a can from April, a ring is visible on each of their
wedding fingers. Daniel places the cans on the top shelf and walks
back over to his bike and gets back to mending it.
EXT. Street view of Taylor and Johnsons Store - Day