Compiled Fall Edition Final
Compiled Fall Edition Final
Administration Apocalypse
The new team has arrived Get some quick tips to save
and is ready to take on the yourself from the inevitable
year ahead. end.
News - Page 10 Off Topic - Page 12
Photographer: David Tsitrin
✦ e cineribus et ad abstra ✦
nOVember • VOl. 37, Fall issue aCtOn-bOXbOrOugh regiOnal high sChOOl www.thespectrumabrhs.com
Headlines
DACA
DREAMers, Donald Trump
and everything in-between.
Forum - Page 3
Pumpkin Spice and
Everything Nice
Is pumpkin spice really that
basic?
Forum - Page 3
Freshman Ideas on
Resilience
Remember to listen to the
voices of the oppressed.
Resilience - Page 6
Resilience in
Immigrants
Finding a community in an
unfamiliar place.
Resilience - Page 7
Intersectionality
A taste of inclusive
feminism.
Resilience - Page 7
New Start Times
Get ready to sleep in.
We are Resilient.
David Tsitrin and Anna Charisse/ Photographers
News - Page 9 Resilience in the Workplace when CEO Reed Hastings and voices deep-down fears that no and effort come to mind. Angela
Love Nest By serena han former CTO Patty Mccord de- matter how many hours one Duckworth, author of Grit, ex-
The doctor is in to fix up Publicity and Finance Manager veloped a transformative busi-
ness model. They collaborated
works per week, someone more
talented can be in the office for
plored the relationship between
the two, hoping to discover ef-
your love life. “Be resilient”: The phrase on a PowerPoint to show new half that time and earn twice as fort’s significance in the equa-
echoes through the halls of employees. Among its 125 slides, much money. tion. Unsurprisingly, she found
ABRHS, ingraining itself in stu- one stands out: “Hard work - Not The slideshow maps out a that when asked which is more
dents’ minds as they go about Relevant.” Hastings and Mccord company’s main priority—to get important, Americans are about
Off Topic - Page 11
their days. At a school like Acton- elaborated that Netflix has no work done—and when Hastings twice as likely to pick effort. Yet
Boxborough, there is a necessity care for “how many hours [peo- and Mccord’s slideshow went psychologist Chia-Jung Tsay’s
for students to recover from set-
Search for Bigfoot
ple] work or how much they are viral, it became clear that busi- tests reveal the very opposite in
backs, often through hard work. in the office.” Instead, it looks for nesses around the world agreed. human conscience: people ide-
Join the thrilling The emphasis on resilience, sug-
gesting that it defines success,
an A-level performance, which is Yet their prioritization of output alize natural talent. Duckworth
adventure of finding the causes one to question how far it
rewarded whether or not the em-
ployee receives an “A for effort.”
seems in direct opposition to AB’s
preaching of resilience. If hard
explains, “It’s a little like saying
we don’t care at all about physical
real thing. can really take people in life: af- The slideshow explains the com- work is truly “[n]ot [r]elevant,” attractiveness… and then, when it
ter high school, after college, and pany’s unlimited vacation policy then resilience cannot help stu- comes to actually choosing whom
specifically in the workplace.
Off Topic - Page 12
and suggests an unconventionally dents beyond school. to date, picking the cute guy over
The multi-billion dollar com- lax work environment, but it can When considering the most the nice one.”
pany Netflix gained popularity be jarring for some. Their model important traits for success, talent See Resilience/ page 6
Intro
Page 2 The Spectrum November 2017
DACA’s Impact on DREAMers Charlottesville Rally the Women’s March, wearing pink
By Kam Narra of recipients were able to get a job a profound impact on thousands By Vera Tsang
with better pay. In addition, 61% of of DREAMers and undocument- hats and waving signs for the rights
Correspondent Forum Editor that they felt were threatened. At
the recipients could open their own ed immigrants across the nation.
Donald Trump has captivated bank accounts, and 65% gained Right here in Massachusetts, 2.3% On August 12, 2017, the Unite Charlottesville, the same backlash oc-
headlines since the beginning of educational opportunities that they of the population—and 3.6% of the Right rally occurred at Charlot- curred.
his campaign. He has continued previously lacked. But why would the labor force—consists of ille- tesville, Virginia. It was organized Unite the Right believed that Au-
to dominate the news with his the government end a program gal immigrants. In fact, Massa- by Jason Kessler to protest the re- gust 12th would be about them, that
decisions on DACA, or Deferred with such a high success rate? Ac- chusetts, along with fifteen other moval of the Robert E. Lee statue they would finally be able to intimi-
Action for Childhood Arrivals, a cording to the Trump Administra- states, has filed lawsuits against from Emancipation Park. Across the date others. Fortunately, they pre-
policy that protects people who tion, the DACA program is not as the Trump administration follow- south, Confederate statues were se- dicted wrong. Counter-protests were
immigrated to the U.S. as minors great as it seems. The administra- ing the president’s announcement lected for removal as they are consid- organized by students from the Uni-
from deportation and secures their tion argues that the progress is un- regarding DACA. In the lawsuit, ered symbols of hate. The protesters versity of Virginia; they linked arms
work permits. The debate about its fair to those who immigrate legally, the state claims that DREAMers disagreed with this judgment. They around the statue of Thomas Jeffer-
removal has lasted for years. Dem- and that those who want to enter are an important part of the state carried torches, performed the Nazi son while withstanding the jeers from
ocrats argue that these children the country should do so legally. economy and attend universities salute, and yelled chants like “white the white nationalists. Black Lives
should have a choice on whether It also argues that, if their parents such as Harvard, Tufts, and the lives matter,” “blood and soil,” and Matter activists, antifa, and other
to remain in the country because are deported, kids will not want to University of Massachusetts. Ac- “you will not replace us.” At the groups like Showing Up for Racial
they did not consciously choose stay in the country. This does not cording to the Boston Globe, cutting scene, terror ensued as a car ran into a Justice appeared, demonstrated their
to leave their homeland and enter mean that the Republicans oppose DACA would cost “$258 million group of counter-protesters, injuring opposition. And, contrary to what
the United States illegally; in most immigration by foreign youth; they in tax—and nearly $925 million to 19 people and killing one. Heather Trump later claimed, the counter-
cases, they were toddlers or even simply want them to do it legally. the economy as a whole,” over the Heyer, the single casualty, died fight- protesters did have a permit. Walt
infants when they crossed the bor- Donald Trump has said that he course of the decade. ing for her beliefs. When asked to ad- Heinecke, a professor at the Universi-
der. DREAMers are no different has “great love” for the kids rely- Aside from the possibly nega- dress the situation, Trump said that ty of Virginia, said that he received an
from the majority of children in ing on the DACA Program. By tive economic impact, the lives of there were “many sides,” and that the approval for the events at two other
the United States—they are part of giving Congress six months to act DREAMers and their families are alt-right protesters had some “very parks located very close to Emancipa-
a generation of immigrants raised on the cancellation, Trump hopes in disarray. Trump and his admin- fine people.” David Duke, former tion Park.
here. Sometimes, DREAMers do that “Congress will be able to help istration have continued to speak Grand Wizard of the KKK and an Days later, an right-wing “free
not know that they illegally im- [the DREAMers] and do it proper- out against illegal immigrants, and American white nationalist, praised speech” rally stirred up in Boston.
migrated to this country until their ly.” He claims that he has nothing many citizens agree with them. Trump’s response and thanked him But it dissolved rapidly, as people
teenage years. Therefore, many against DREAMers but argues that We all are entitled to our political on Twitter for his “honesty and cour- were quick to organize a counter-
believe it cruel to take them away “before we ask what is fair for ille- opinion. However, no matter your age.” protest. Because of this, other “Amer-
from their homes and send them gal immigrants, we must ask what political affiliation, it is important The Charlottesville Rally, if any- ica First” rallies were cancelled in
to an unfamiliar environment. To is fair to American families,” sug- to acknowledge that illegal immi- thing, should be a wake-up call to 36 states. Hate lost that day. There’s
spare these immigrants from depor- gesting the prioritization of Ameri- grants are normal people who are a those not aware of the rising hate a reason why the First Amendment
tation, the Obama Administration can citizens. For this reason, the part of our community. For many, in this country. It is easy to pretend exists: everyone has a right to express
officially implemented DACA; to Trump Administration decided to America is their home. Therefore, that we live in a post-hate, post-racial themselves. But there’s a fine line be-
this day, the program has protected end the DACA program this Sep- we must support them. While our society, but, according to the South- tween using it and violating it. That’s
800,000 young adults, and now the tember, and the government will no politicians may be divided, there is ern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), the what Charlottesville showed. The
Trump Administration wants to longer accept new applications. no reason for our community to be total number of hate groups in the white nationalists who popped up
shut it down. Congress’s decision on DACA the same. country has grown from 862 to 917 at the protest were highly racist and
Through DACA, around 69% in the next few months will have since Donald Trump’s election. Anti- prejudiced, using their freedom of
Muslim groups increased from 34 in speech to hate.
Returning Trends from the 90s Crocs, and brands like Dolce & Gab- even a leather jacket. Denim jackets,
2015 to 101 in 2016. Neo-confederate
organizations rose by 23%, from 35 to
43. Hate still thrives in this country,
At a school like Acton-Boxbor-
ough, students are taught to respect
rather than to judge. Student-run
By Olivia Olayiwole as the Unite the Right rally at Char- organizations at our school such as
bana and Balmain have reintroduced overalls, and skirts have also risen GSA, Girl Up, Young Democrats,
Fashion Columnist lottesville has proven. Having grown
tailored grunge into mainstream fash- in popularity within our generation. Young Republicans, etc. all allow
up in an open community, this event
My outfits often make my mother ion. The 90s were defined by their abstract students to share their opinions and
horrifies me. We are taught that it is a
nostalgic; they remind her of favor- Most girls probably own at least use of denim in a variety of different perspectives without aggression or
basic rule to not hate, dislike, or judge
ite 90s TV sitcoms and pop culture. one pair of comfy high-waisted jeans. types of garments, of which many antagonism. For the most part, they
someone for their identity, and it ut-
Though teenagers may groan when Also known as “mom jeans,” these are reentering street fashion around coexist peacefully. Still, at AB, we ex-
terly shocks me that someone would
their parents begin a conversation jeans are coming back into our closets the country. ist in a sort of bubble. It is easy to for-
commit such atrocities.
with “when I was younger,” the 90s and are usually worn with a solid col- Fashion is continuously inspired get that, in many parts of the country,
However, in situations like these,
are making a major comeback, and ored blouse that is tucked in. These not only by the past, but by the pres- hate is at a recent high.
there is always a sliver of hope. If
nostalgia for older generations has jeans add to the curve of the waist ent. The clothing we wear is not only Yes, Charlottesville happened
something runs counter to the beliefs
resurfaced. The entrenched emotions and create an hourglass figure, which a form of self-expression, but inspires months ago, and some may say it
of a group in this country, they never
of our parents are reappearing with many see as attractive. I myself can other areas of pop culture. Its influ- doesn’t matter anymore, but it does. It
hesitate to remonstrate. The day af-
the new fashion movement. From attest to having seen several women ence can be seen in music, with 90s is a reminder that the quieter we are,
ter Trump was inaugurated, millions
high-waisted jeans to chokers, sev- rocking their outfits with a pair of R&B becoming an inspiration in vari- the louder hate will be.
around the country participated in
eral iconic 90s fashion statements are these dated jeans out in Boston. They ous modern genres. In entertainment,
commonly seen not only in AB’s hall- only further emphasize the return TRL, the beloved 90s MTV show, has
ways, but in high fashion. of 90s trends to modern-day Amer- been resurrected, and in gaming, Nin-
90s fashion re-emerged in the ear- ica. Distressed jeans, or “boyfriend tendo has rebooted multiple famous
ly 2010’s, with the sudden influx of jeans,” are also making a comeback. Gameboy titles for the 3DS, to the
crop tops, flannel shirts and combat Though they lie lower on the waist excitement and nostalgia of many.
boots. The fashion industry has since and usually display a small section of This unique return to the 90s makes
further reverted to 90s fashion trends. the ankle, they have a similar effect me wonder what the future of fash-
Many trends have, in fact, taken new and are worn like high-waisted jeans. ion and world culture will look like.
forms. At the latest Fashion Month, The ripped jeans always give an awe- I am ecstatic about the reintroduction
a futuristic styling of platform shoes some rocker-chick vibe that goes well of great 90s trends and excited to see
from Balenciaga—yet another 90s with almost any look, though they how long they will last in our end-
trend—was on display. The fashion are recommended with other punk- lessly changing world of fashion. Charlottesville candlelight vigil held against hate
house recently introduced platform related accessories, like dark colors or ONLINE SOURCE
was coined by legal scholar and cades. Unfortunately, this form of the highly influential Women’s inclusive feminism in our lives. that are present in their lives.”
activist Dr. Kimberle Crenshaw in feminism excludes less privileged March on Washington earlier #BlackGirlMagic celebrates black Women of color have been
1989. She explained that “the ex- women; it often only amplifies the this year. Viola Davis recently culture and the women who are a rising up in the world of politics,
periences of women of color con- voices of upper-class, cisgender, became the first black woman to part of it. media, and leadership, despite
sist of a combination or intersec- straight, white women. win the “Best Actress in Drama” In the local community, AB challenges. This success ampli-
tion of both racism and sexism.” On the other hand, along with at the Emmys. Pop star Rihanna GirlUp has emphasized the im- fies the resilience in the fight
Furthermore, queer women, dis- increased traction and support released Fenty Beauty, an inclu- portance of helping underprivi- for equality on levels, including
abled women, and poor women for the movement, intersectional- sive makeup line for an enormous leged women. Past fundraising recognizing intersectional and
carry the weight of social stigma ity has faced backlash and criti- variety of skin types. Women of and awareness efforts have shed historically silenced voices. Al-
that are distinctly their own. The cism. Many of this stems from color are gaining influence and light on and rallied support for though this movement has existed
combination of distinct personal misunderstanding or misconcep- power in the worlds of politics women all around the world. Tea- and prospered for some time now,
identities produces a set of strug- tions of the issue. It is, of course, and mass media. gan Smith, a freshman at AB and it has recently taken off with new-
gles unique to individuals of a not condemning privileged indi- In the age of technology, social a member of GirlUp, said that found awareness and emphasis
particular group. Intersectionality viduals for being activists, and it media movements have become a “some women are put at a much despite the backlash. And with
is founded upon the core idea that is certainly not to say that they powerful vehicle to create change greater disadvantage because of the strength, passion, and resil-
all oppressions are connected as cannot be part of the conversa- and raise awareness. Hashtags their different histories, and we ience of its supporters, intersec-
opposed to isolated; it is essential tion. In fact, the whole point of like #WhyWeCantWait call out need to be able to consider the tionality does not appear to be
that we as a society and a commu- intersectionality is the idea that the urgency of incorporating agendas of all women and issues backing down any time soon.
Across Down
3. Income _______ 1. Eighth astrological Zodiac
4. (Of tides) to recede symbol
5. Violently send out 2 .Remarkable, mythical
7. A puzzle 3 .The capital of the country of
8. Invented by Arthur Wynne in Georgia
1913 6. Topic for consideration
9. Cause baby you’re a _ 11. One of three bird species to
10.Roman God of War produce milk
12. A final demand 13. A question in an investigation.
The Spectrum’s
Fall Crossword
News
November 2017 The Spectrum Page 9
AB Start Times: The Late Edition Beauty and the Beast her job while creating fond memo-
By Michelle Gong However, these plans have seen other committee funds or by AB By Somya Prabhakar and
some opposition from students families, but over 20% of survey ries. Maddie Steverman enjoys Ba-
Correspondent Grace Gong bette’s tango with Lumiere in “Be
themselves, whose concerns re- respondents said they would not
volve mainly around the new end support this. Correspondents Our Guest,” while Sarah Woods
School start times have become
times. For many students, leaving The Start Time Committee ad- This fall, students and staff in loves how “everyone on tech crew
the subject of a heated conversa-
school at 2:40 or 3:10 would mean dressed these concerns about after Acton-Boxborough Regional High has such a good bond.” In addition,
tion among students in the dis-
compromising their after-school school activities and the two-tier School’s award-winning theatre the members get to learn and devel-
trict. Since last June, the ABRSD
activities. Staying later after school busing arrangement in their final program, Proscenium Circus, pre- op skills through their jobs. Calvin
School Start Time Committee
would push back after-school ac- report. Regarding to comments sented the beloved Disney musical Benelli, a member of the dance en-
has advocated for a change in the
tivities, causing students to also get about sports and activities, they Beauty and the Beast. The show semble, loved learning complicated
school’s start and end times. After
home and sleep later. Additionally, stated that the ending time will opened on October 27th and ran for dance sequences, while Catarina
researching and analyzing surveys
these later end times afford less only be about 20 minutes later two weeks, totalling eight fantastic Santos enjoyed seeing how an intri-
taken by members of the AB com-
time to practice sports and skills, than the existing time, so it will performances. Although the Acton- cate face of makeup contributes to
munity, the Start Time Committee
which could decrease participation not dramatically impact athlet- Boxborough community recognizes a performance’s dramatic effect.
has synthesized the possibilities
in after-school activities altogether. ics or extracurricular activities. PC for its impressive productions Although the cast and crew
that would be the most beneficial
Furthermore, the start time The committee also believes that that cover a variety of storylines, make performances look easy,
to students and families of AB.
combines the elementary school the advantages of having two bus most students are unaware of the students work hard to transform
Plans include shifting the high
schedules, with only one round of tiers instead of three outweigh the grueling work that goes into creat- the show from script into reality.
school and junior high start times
buses for all elementary schools. disadvantages. Without the dif- ing a successful show. The Spec- Benelli reveals that “we sometimes
to 8:00am, with end times at 2:40
The current three tiers of busing— ficulties of switching elementary trum followed the musical’s cast feel rushed to learn a dance, …
and 2:36pm respectively, and shift-
two rounds of buses for elementa- schedules every year, plus the late and crew through the final stages of with the pressure of opening night
ing elementary school hours be-
ry schools and one for junior high schedule—which many believe rehearsal to learn more about the looming upon us.” When asked
tween 8:40am and 3:10pm.
and high school students—will ends too late—all elementary musical and the students putting it to use only one word to describe
According to surveys, around
turn into two tiers. For this plan to school teachers would be available together. his fellow cast members, Benelli
80% of respondents indicated
work, eleven buses must be added for meetings at the same time. If Proscenium Circus offers the- exclaimed, “Dedicated.” The cast
that “student health and well-
to the existing fleet, resulting in this is financially unattainable, the atre opportunities with various and crew put in extensive amounts
being” and “impact on student
more than forty buses necessary to school district will continue with roles in both cast and crew, such of work to perfect each produc-
sleep” were the main reasons for
drive students from all six schools. three tiers and the high school start as costumes, hair and makeup, and tion. Steverman explains that her
a schedule change. A National
Financially speaking, for the first time will be delayed by fifteen min- stage lighting. Each year, PC pres- commitment to PC is “around 12
Sleep Foundation poll found that
year, the cost would increase by utes. ents four productions, including hours on an average week”; she
59% of middle schoolers and 87%
approximately $750,000, and ev- While there are still a few de- Cabaret; they are constantly plan- “doesn’t even want to do the math
of high school students in the
ery year after, it would cost nearly tails left to finalize, the commit- ning something fresh and exciting for tech week!” Similarly, Benelli
U.S. got fewer than the recom-
$375,000 before a 45% reimburse- tee is planning to implement this for everyone. Aside from PC’s per- spends around 16 hours a week in
mended 8.5 to 9.5 hours of sleep
ment by the state because of AB’s change next fall, so prepare to hear forming talent, it is also known to rehearsal, not including time spent
on school nights. Even without
status as a regional school dis- the first bell ring at 8am instead of be a tight-knit community. Maddie practicing dances at home. How-
large amounts of homework and
trict. These costs are paid through 7:23am. Steverman, who plays Babette in ever, the students have no regrets.
extracurricular activities, mela-
the production, describes PC as a Despite the tremendous effort that
tonin—a hormone that controls
“crazy, loving family.” After spend- members of PC must put into their
sleep cycles—prevents many teen-
ing almost every day together, the roles, Benelli describes his expe-
agers from getting enough sleep.
students have even developed their rience in PC as “a riot!” PC has
According to the National Sleep
own jargon, like “don’t kill Simba,” evolved into a community where
Foundation, the release of melato-
which serves as code for “be quiet students can bond, foster their mu-
nin later at night with age promote
running on stage.” tual love for drama, and produce a
later sleeping and waking hours in
The students and staff work captivating story.
teenagers. A lack of sleep causes
together to create an amazing pro- Congratulations to the cast and
adolescents to suffer physical and
duction within a whirlwind three crew of Beauty and the Beast, and
mental health problems such as
months; during this time, each in- the whole PC family, on a wonder-
obesity and depression, decline
dividual works extensively at his or ful performance!
in academic performance, and a
higher risk of being in a car acci-
dent. With a later start, kids might be less tired throughout the school day.
ONLINE SOURCE
Communal Housing in Acton create an inclusive family. New View However, residence still means
By Paolina Garro
includes multiple houses and units being a relatively active part of
Correspondent
designed to build social interactions the community. For instance, the
New View, a cohousing commu- between every neighbor. Houses are maintenance of New View’s land-
nity in Acton, is filled with a diverse arranged in pairs of four connected scape is managed by the members.
group of people who put aside poten- by pedestrian roads. Every house As important as being active in
tial differences such as religious or has its own yard, but the community the community is, friendships are
political affiliations to live together shares an open ground. This space also a big part of New View. All
as one united group. Cohousing is is great for barbecues, picnics, and members of New View feel secure
a sustainable way for people to both other social events. New View also and respected, distinguishing this
enjoy both the luxury of a private has a Common House, the heart of community from many others. Proscenium Circus performing the smash hit, Beauty and the Beast.
ONLINE SOURCE
home and participate in commu- the community’s social life, open to Most of them were accustomed
nity bonding. It not only helps cre- every member. The Common House to avoiding their neighbors, but
ate more social interaction, but also is often used by members to gather with cohousing, their neighbors
helps environmental issues through together for meals and social events feel like family. Now, members
shared facilities. like Thanksgiving or Memorial Day. can interact with people from
New View members join for one Participation in discussions and deci- various ages, backgrounds, and
simple reason: acceptance. They have sion-making is highly recommended, views, allowing them to expand
meals together, carpool to school, but not obligatory. The community their knowledge beyond their own
help each other through tough times, does not put pressure on its members lives; New View provides a unique
and simply live as one united family. to participate, allowing members to experience in which members are
No matter a member’s race, gender choose how much time and energy a part of a loving and caring com-
or sexuality, the community strives to to devote to their neighborhood. munity.
New View’s Common House is the heart of the community as social life is open to every memeber.
ONLINE SOURCE
News
Page210
Page The Spectrum
The Spectrum November
January 2017
2008
Love Nest: I’m Fall-ing For You I wish you luck in this fine-feline ing is about, blame it on your turtle
Fall Issue Staff Recs
Jasmine: Listen to the band Also, visit Cha-Time.
By JaCk OlsOn Coin. Anjali: Watch House, MD. It’s
world. who stubbed his toe. How insensi-
Spectrum Staff ble of your parents, asking to meet Nithyani: Try Trader Joe’s better than Grey’s Anatomy.
Hey, I’m a freshman! I was Doc, I need major help. The your significant other when they Peaches & Cream Yogurt...it’s so Vera: Listen to “I Know (I
wondering how to get older boys girl I’m crushing on has a super creamy. Know)” By John Lennon
know how awkward and uneasy it
Sydney: Listen to the Taiwan- Michael: Sleep.
to date me, seeing as how I’m bet- weird obsession with The Cheetah makes you feel. Where’s their em-
ese band Mayday. Kirtana: Go to Walnut Grill for
ter than all the boys in my grade. Girls, and I’m not into that, but I pathy? Keep sneaking around and Jessica: Sleep more than 2 vegan/vegetarian food even if you
Help me please! am into her. Any suggestions? playing Wii Sports, you troubled in- hours per night otherwise you’ll aren’t vegan or vegetarian.
There are two things on my This question is too offensive quirer. Never let your parents look pass out and fall down your stair- Serena: Listen to “Aftergold”
mind after seeing this ridiculous for me to answer. Literally, how out for you again. case. !_! by Big Wild!
question. My darling, older boys DARE you not be “into” my slay Max: Listen to the Irish band Ms. Hammond: Read Shrill by
have no interest in younger girls. mama queens, The Cheetah Girls. Occasionally, when I’m at my High Kings. Lindy West.
You see, just as younger girls lust I HOPE that the girl you are “into” significant other’s house, I se- Kavya: Watch Adam Ruins Ev- Mr. Brusie: Listen to “Yours”
after older boys, the boys lust af- never hears about this, but if she cretly eat all his Clif Bars. Then, I erything and Last Week Tonight. by the band Now, Now.
ter older girls. That, my princess, gets vision like Raven-Symone, she go back and hide all the wrappers
is why nobody ever seems to find already knows and will never re- somewhere in the pantry because I
love. Everyone in our school is into ciprocate the love you have for her. don’t want him to see them all in
someone who’s older and out of You seem like a confused individu- the trash can (it’s usually about 4
their league! Now, that is not neces- al, not up to date with the beauty, wrappers every time) His mother
sarily a bad thing… charm, and passion that old Disney has just noticed all the old wrap-
movies lend us these days. Come pers and is now yelling at my him
My boyfriend talks to all my back to me when you learn to ap- as I hide in the bathroom because
other friends, but ignores me. preciate the icons. I sentence you it’s so awkward. Do I admit to my
How do I make him actually talk to an uninterrupted Cheetah Girls evil doing?
to me, and look at me for once? binge session. Your evil doing isn’t hiding all
My little sugarblossom, hang on the wrappers back in the pantry;
tight, because do I have an answer Is it okay that my Mom and it’s simply that you took your sig-
for you! This question seems com- Dad still like to meet the person nificant other’s Clif Bars in the first
plex, but actually has a very simple I’m dating? place! Never have I ever had such
answer: costumes. Woof. Meeow. Ah, the classic dilemma teenag- a dishonest and sneaky baboon
Chirp. Ribbit. Dress up like one of ers get their pantaloons in a twist asking for help! You practically de-
these animals, and surely your boy- over. It is absolutely not okay for stroyed my trust in you with a five-
friend will never lose sight of you them to meet your significant other. line question, but that is besides the
again. A cat costume would be my AT ALL! Follow my plan: 1) wait point. More importantly, out of all
personal favorite: it’s eye-catching, until the lights go out, 2) unlock the snacks in the world, you chose
yet mysterious, with a hint of spice your side door, 3) sneak your signif- CLIF BARS as your go-to snack to
and flair. It will leave your boy- icant other past your parents, who steal. So, my silly little goon, I have
friend with his eyes locked on you. are watching TV in the living room, a question for you: why that snack?
Little sugarblossom, the problem and 4) bring them to your basement, Oh, how the tables have turned!
may not be your boyfriend: it may where you can finally engage in a May those Clif Bars forever rest in
be you. Perhaps you will find confi- heated game of Wii Sports. If your the bottomless pit that is your stom-
dence with your new kitty costume. parents ever ask what the scream- ach.
Off Topic
Page 12 The Spectrum November 2017
Tips for the End of the World knowing that Wall Street will also go tough questions: which sibling do I
The Slipper Stunt proached the slippers, I took a deep
By sriJa nagireddy up in flames when the time comes. like better, and have I really forgiven By siena brOlin
breath. Calling on my fifth and sixth
Spectrum Staff Don’t have the cash to invest? Simply Linda for spilling her juice on me in Spectrum Staff grade acting experience, I turned to
“borrow” money from your parents third grade? These tragic decisions
Given the number of recent glob- As soon as Matt Fleming, fellow Matt with a serious look on my face.
without their knowledge. What they are necessary to ensure that you have
al catastrophes, the world must be Off Topic writer, announced his in- Tapping his arm frantically, I whis-
don’t know can’t hurt them! enough juice boxes in your bunker to
ending. There are so many different tention to go Bigfoot hunting in the pered, “What’s that?” and pointed to
Tip #2: If you cannot afford your keep everyone important alive.
causes of a potential apocalypse that own high-end bunker, make one Tip #4: Obsessively decorate woods of Boxborough, I knew what the slippers lying menacingly on the
it’s almost impossible to list them yourself in your basement. You can your bunker to distract from your I had to do. Volunteering to go hunt- forest floor. Matt turned to me with
all. The world has witnessed count- find instructions online, (a search overwhelming remorse for abandon- ing with him, I planned to plant Big- wide eyes, and I had to turn away to
less natural disasters in the past few for “DIY apocalypse bunkers” led ing nearly everyone you know to in- foot slippers in the woods and trick hide my laughter as we moved clos-
months, all thanks to climate change! to some great results on Pinterest), variable doom. Sparkles never hurt Matt into believing that Bigfoot is er to inspect the situation. Clearly
We may soon see even more damag- or simply improvise. For furnishings, anyone! real and in Boxborough. My work recognizing that they were slippers
ing ones. The apocalypse could also sneak family furniture down to the Tip #5: Move into your bunker. was certainly cut out for me. You see, and not real animal feet, Matt was
result from the amicable relations basement when no one is looking. within the next few weeks. Its whole I—not Matt—am the token gullible still reveling in the belief that some-
between North Korea and the United When your parents inevitably notice purpose is survival––you won’t do person among our friends. However, body had coincidentally left Bigfoot
States. Be wary of a declaration of the couch is missing, deflect blame to much surviving if you’re outside dur- I remained hopeful, because Matt slippers in these woods on the same
war or a test of a hydrogen bomb and your dog. It’s foolproof. If you worry ing the apocalypse! Once you move believes in everything from ghosts night that we would be searching for
a chance of nuclear armageddon! At about boredom, fill a bookcase with in, refuse to leave its safety, no mat- to conspiracy theories and because I the Sasquatch himself. After a few
this rate, it wouldn’t even be a sur- overdue library books. Remember, ter what. Stay resolute. Your parents conveniently already owned a pair of minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I
prise if the Yellowstone caldera sud- vengeful librarians are insignificant might not approve of you skipping Bigfoot slippers. burst into laughter and explained my
denly erupted. It’s time to explore the when the world is ending! Stock school, but when have they ever ap- One fateful Friday, I began my genius trickery to an amused Matt.
ways to survive. your bunker with the essential food proved of you? And who wants to journey to the wooded trail at the “It was me,” I explained to Matt as
Tip #1: Get rich. While not the groups: cheese, bread (it’s a staple in study when the world is ending? end of my street, bearing a backpack he rocked with laughter. “I put them
most practical tip, getting wealthy Oprah’s bunker), Halloween candy, Tip #6: Ignore those who call containing the slippers. I found a tree here. I’m writing an article about it.
affords you a much better chance of meat, and juice boxes (they contain you crazy; there will be many. under which to arrange the slippers Everyone knew except for you.” The
survival. Billionaires can watch the one whole serving of fruit). Tip #7: An additional note: The so that it looked like Bigfoot was Bigfoot gang continued to chuckle as
world burn from their state of the art Tip #3: Make the hard choices. bunker you made will fail in 99% of hiding there. After some final adjust- we walked off into the sunset. Little
doomsday bunkers. To achieve this in There are only so many resources you Doomsday scenarios. In all honesty, ments, my work was done. Now, all did we know that we would get com-
the time left, we suggest investing in can pack in your pathetic excuse for your bunker couldn’t survive mild that was left was the execution. pletely lost and wouldn’t be able to
unknown startups with suspiciously a bunker. Therefore, you must be se- winds, much less the apocalypse. So retrieve the slippers until the light of
Later that night, the Bigfoot
inflated claims. If you don’t back lective when choosing people to join live life while you still can and drop hunting gang set out. As we ap- day returned.
the next Facebook, you can rest easy you in the New Age. Ask yourself the out of school!