SMILE AT FEAR: This 17-year old girl with depression speaks up to end the silence on

mental illness
Ana Theresa Octavo, Features

Dianna was about to compete in the 2017 Reional Schools Press Conference (RSPC) for the scond time
around. She placed third in the competition the previous year. People thought she had it easy, after all she
placed seventh in the 2016 National Schools Press Conference (NSPC) in Koronadal City, South
Cotabato. Little did they know, a chasm of frustration was slowly eating Dianna. She could not finish her
articles, much less start a new one. She did not know why… not until she lost not only her passion in
writing but her motivation to carry on a normal life.

Dianna Burdeos used to be a happy-go-lucky teenager. doing the same things a typical 15-year old would
do--investing feelings in fictional characters, playing with some make-up, and taking indulgent selfies.
She used to always joke that her life motto was "when life gives you lemons, make lemonades.''
However, she never knew that life would throw her a much bigger lemon than she could handle. In spite
of herself, she said nothing and chose to keep to herself. At one point, she felt mentally exhausted.

Dianna realized that something was wrong with her during a very momentous event--her 2016 NSPC
winning moment. She knew she was supposed to feel elated and excited, but all she felt was emptiness.

"I read articles about this hollow and empty feeling until I came up with depression. I took online rests
which was very helpful. I self-diagnosed," Dianna recounted.

Out of fear and hesitance, she did not tell anyone about it until it took a toll on her. The deep feeling of
hopelessness left her with no choice but an attempt to end it all. She tried to slit her wrist with a cutter but
before it was too late, she found refuge in her mother's arms.

"I realized that I'm more than that. We went to a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with Major Depressive
Disorder (MDDJ and Severe Anxiety," she said.

Accepting that she has a mental condition was not an easy feat. Instead of harboring thoughts of suicide,
she decided to undergo medication. Eventually, she was confined at a psychiatric ward in Makati City.

“I lived with other people who are mentally ill. Together, we have our vitals checked five times a day and
we also wait ln line to drink our meds," Dianna narrated. When she was discharged, she started taking
medication to improve her mood and to minimize depressive episodes.

Dianna stated that taking her medicines regularly is not easy considering their side effects, including tired
feeling, constipation, changes in appetite, and sleep problems among others. Also, they are pricy. A day's
worth of medicines would normally cost over a thousand pesos, with each pill costing about P350.00 to
P1,500.00 per piece. Nevertheless, the medications helped improve not only her mental condition but also
her point of view in life.

"Medications really help. It's up to you to really utilize their effects," she explained.

“Compassion and not prejudice is what we need" was Dianna's piece of advice to people who suffer from
mental conditions and to those who are lucky enough not to have this kind of illness.
In spite of herself, Dianna still tried to make lemonade out of the enormous lemons life unexpectedly
threw at her. It was a struggle to cope up with all the changes in her life, but she tried. And now, she gets
better every day. Yes. she still feels sad but it cannot stop her to feel rad.
 What it’s like to live single-handedly
Ana Theresa Octavo, Features

As a Pastor, a father. and a teacher. Luisito Gonzales continues to Inspire many through his life
experiences. And mostly, it's through telling the story of how his right arm got amputated due to
a horrible accident that didn't only leave him with a missing arm, but also a new perspective in life
making him have stronger faith In God.

Lulslto Gonzales. 56, is an Edukasyon sa Pagpapakatao (ESP) teacher at TNCHS, and he has been living
his life with one arm for 40 years now. Doing everything with only one arm seems hard to do, but by
now, he's gotten used to it because it's something he learned to bear with ever since that accident in 1979
when he was still a 16-year-old working -student in a laundry shop.

"Kapag binuksan mo 'yung laundry, malakas kasi 'yung hangln. Napapasok ‘yung braso ko sa spinner na
1000 Revolution Per Minute kaya natanggal kaagad siya; hindi ko na namalayan 'yung kamay ko,"
Luisito shared, recalling the accident that left him devastated.

During his recovery, Luisito confessed that all he ever felt was self-pity. He was so down that he didn't let
anyone visit him, not even his family nor his friends. But his grief went away when one of his professors
came to visit him and gave him a piece of advice that he kept whole-heartedly.

"Mayroong isang professor sa UP na bumisita sa akin and he encouraged me. Sabi niya, sabi ng Bibliya,
all things work together for good naniniwala ka ba roon?" Luisito said, recounting the words of his
professor.

With the belief 'all things work together for good', he continued living. He graduated from the University
of the Philippines with a degree in Philosophy. and a Minor in Secondary Education. Soon after, he
became a Pastor in Seventh Day Adventist Church where he met the mother of his four children.

To fulfill his task as a father, he got a job as a teacher. He teaches Values Education because as a pastor.
He can keep showing his students what is good and right. But being handicapped. he has been a target of
bullying even by his students. Even so, despite being called names like "Tulfo" which Is an anagram of
the word "putol", he remained strong.

That is because as he described it, "Basta nagtuturo ako ng tama, sinasabi ko kung anong mali, walang
magiging hadlang sa akin kasi malakas ang fighting spirit ko."

He faces struggles every day, but he remains positive, long enough that two of his children have already
found decent jobs. Right now, everything is paying off for him-he has a decent job and a lovely family.
The only thing that was cut off was one of his limbs, not his faith.

His professor was right after all when he said the famous quote. And of course, he wouldn't let this
moment pass without giving a message to those who feel down and lost in the abyss of darkness: "Hindi
magbibigay ang Panginoon ng trials na hindi kayang lampasan ng tao. God is still in control." and with
his favorite quote, he finally concluded, "All things work together for good."