Character Style Questionnaire
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Character Style
Questionnaire
This questionnaire was designed to help gain a
better understanding of your personality and
concerns. It is composed of 120 true/false
statements about oneself, one’s relationships, and
familiar experiences.
Some of these statements may evoke challenging
responses; please try to meet these
compassionately, and simply respond to them as
honestly as possible. Your answers are completely
confidential, and the only “right” answer is the one
that feels more true for you.
While this checklist might seem lengthy, most
people are able to complete it within
approximately 30 minutes. That being said, please
feel free to take your time with this exercise and
make space for whatever comes up for you around
these questions.
Please do not reproduce or distribute without
permission of Jeremy Axelrad PhD.
* Required
Full Name: *
Rodica Axelrad
1. I tend to notice details and can lose sight
of the big picture at times. *
True
False
2. I have been told that I’m dramatic,
theatrical, or exaggerate feelings and
situations. *
True
False
3. A sort of superpower of mine is being
able to “read a room” and shape-shift to
connect with individuals or a group. *
True
False
4. I tend to feel driven to keep going and
accomplishing more, even beyond the point
where others might rest. I know that I can do
better, and it’s rare that something I did feels
good enough. *
True
False
5. Inwardly I often feel proud or superior, but
I usually put myself forward as humble and
modest. *
True
False
6. I have felt, at times, that I do not really
exist, or have no right to exist. *
True
False
7. I often share my feelings more for help,
attention, or connection than as deliberate,
authentic self-expression. I can be quite
preoccupied with trying to properly express
and alter the way I feel. *
True
False
8. I’m usually a “giver” of nourishment, but I
can get resentful and angry that no one is
there to care for me. *
True
False
9. During my upbringing, one or more of my
caregivers were “hands off,” and things were
often somewhat chaotic, unpredictable, or
messy. This was stressful, and I became
determined to be the opposite: organized,
competent, and in control. *
True
False
10. I can be quite suggestible and
impressionable, as if my feelings run away
with me. *
True
False
11. I tend to keep my vulnerable feelings
behind a tough, confident, and assertive
exterior. *
True
False
12. In many different situations, I work to
charm people, light them up, and make
them feel good. *
True
False
13. People have said that they experience
me as aloof and abstract. Even people close
to me have complained about my tendency
to withdraw or be “emotionless” and
unavailable. *
True
False
14. I am pretty fearless and can be a risk-
taker. *
True
False
15. I think I’d be let down if I asked others for
help. *
True
False
16. I know how to use my energy moderately
and subtly. I tend to speak with a soft,
smooth, or even seductive voice. *
True
False
17. People in my life have become frustrated
with my tendency to refuse their support.
When asked, I tend to say something like
“I’m okay, I don’t need anything!” *
True
False
18. I’m a natural caretaker and tend to
others’ needs and feelings in an affectionate
and nurturing way. *
True
False
19. On some level, it’s as though if I make the
people around me feel good (happy, special,
entertained, etc.), then I’m okay. *
True
False
20. I tend to be somewhat flirtatious in a
low-key, playful way, and want people to see
me as attractive and desirable. *
True
False
21. I often feel a pull to "collapse" into
sadness or giving up. *
True
False
22. I am an objective, neutral observer of
life. *
True
False
23. I have a very hard time apologizing. It
feels like surrender. *
True
False
24. I wish I could get the attention I need in
my close relationships. Though I tend to talk
a lot, and in an energetic and expressive
manner, to my disappointment I have often
felt unheard or misunderstood. *
True
False
25. The world can often seem like a cold,
empty, and lonely place. I often feel like
something needed is missing and no one is
really there for me. *
True
False
26. I have been told that I behave
seductively and have been surprised and
concerned as that was not my intention. *
True
False
27. I experience/d my earliest caregivers as
harsh, either physically or emotionally, and
think there was probably a basic mismatch
between my high sensitivity and their
energy. *
True
False
28. I appreciate how productive and efficient
I can be, and others generally do as well.
Focusing on tasks, achieving my goals, and
getting things done feels central to who I
am. *
True
False
29. Life often feels futile, meaningless, or
unreal. I am often preoccupied with
existential concerns. *
True
False
30. I often feel unwanted and alien, like I
don’t belong. *
True
False
31. I often feel somewhat maneuvering on
the inside, like I am controlling a social
situation, while appearing co-operative or
deferential to others. *
True
False
32. I don’t concern myself much with rules
or what authorities tell me to do. *
True
False
33. I often feel like I have to prove that I am
strong and I can do it. *
True
False
34. I frequently make lists to organize my
activities and go about completing things in
a determined manner. I can get impatient or
frustrated with others who seem
disorganized, slow, or ineffective by
comparison. *
True
False
35. I came from a family where neediness
was teased or ignored; I was encouraged to
be independent and handle things myself. *
True
False
36. I tend to build up anger and indignation
about a situation until it all comes out in an
impulsive, often ineffective way. *
True
False
37. I tend to give up easily when things get
hard. Around tasks or challenges, I often
have the thought: "I can't do it." *
True
False
38. It’s more natural for me to let others lead
while I follow. *
True
False
39. I typically rely on my own resources
rather than turning to others for help; no
one can help me better than I can. *
True
False
40. My earliest caregivers were probably
quite preoccupied, needy, or simply could
not take the time to respond to my demands
when I was a baby due to work, siblings, or
other issues. I think there was an element of
neglect. *
True
False
41. I have a lot of anger and resentment
about how I am treated, but it is difficult for
me to stand up for myself and express how I
feel. *
True
False
42. In groups, I usually seem to end up in a
leadership role. *
True
False
43. When I was younger, my caregivers paid
the most attention to me when I had some
sort of problem (e.g., misbehaved, was ill). *
True
False
44. As a child, I often listened to and
soothed one or more of my caregivers when
they were upset. I filled an important
function for them and was valued for my
ability to understand them and make them
feel good. *
True
False
45. While I am reliable, predictable, and
extremely loyal, I don’t feel like I can count
on the people to whom I’m attached to be
the same way. *
True
False
46. I live by myself and have few close
relationships. *
True
False
47. I often get stuck in a double-bind
between doing what I want to do vs just
obeying and doing what others want me to
do - neither one feels good. *
True
False
48. I am able to make other people quickly
feel seen, known, and cherished; this often
feels great for me, but sometimes it leaves
me feeling disingenuous, empty, or
manipulative. *
True
False
49. Given a choice, I value spiritual pursuits
over pleasures in daily living. *
True
False
50. I often feel sadness around not getting
enough love and care from others, or
anxious about being abandoned by them. *
True
False
51. There is something natural for me about
