How to Develop Confidence Speaking

Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

Most people report that giving a speech is their greatest fear. And yet the ability to give a
speech is one of the most valued business skills today.
Try these 10 tips to get over your nervousness and to develop confidence while speaking.
1. Expect to be nervous.
Even experienced speakers get nervous. Don’t try to eliminate your jitters. Turn them into
energy you can use to boost your delivery.
2. Prepare.
Know what you are going to say – and why you want to say it.
3. Practice.
Speak to supportive audiences in small forums where less is at stake – at a staff meeting or a
PTA meeting. Join Toastmasters or take a Dale Carnegie course. Work with a coach.
4. Breathe.
In the thirty seconds before you begin speaking, take three slow, deep breaths through your
nose, filling your belly. As you breathe out, say silently to yourself, “Relax.”
5. Rehearse.
Stand up and walk around as you practice out loud. Don’t memorize your speech or practice
it word for word. Talk it through, point by point. Imagine you’re explaining your main ideas
to a friend.
6. Focus on your audience.
Stage fright is rooted in self-preoccupation. (“How am I doing?” “Am I making any sense?”)
Stop focusing on yourself. Focus, instead, on your audience. (“How are you?” “Are you
getting this?” “Can you hear me?”)
7. Simplify.
Most speakers try to do too much in a speech. Then they worry about leaving something out
or losing their train of thought. Aim, instead, to communicate one basic idea. Keep it short
and simple.
8. Visualize success.
Practice relaxation techniques in the days before your presentation. Lie down or sit
comfortably in a quiet place. Breathe slowly. Close your eyes. Imagine your upcoming
speaking engagement. Picture yourself speaking with confidence.
9. Connect with your audience.
Make the audience your allies. Talk to individuals before your presentation to get to know
them. Look them in the eye as you speak to them, one person at a time. When your audience
sides with you, your job as a speaker becomes easier.
10. Act confident.
People won’t see how nervous you are. (They can’t tell if your palms are sweating or your
knees are knocking or your heart is pounding.) So don’t tell them. Smile. Stick your chest
out. Look confident, even if you don’t feel it.

5 Secrets to Looking Confident

While Speaking in Public
By Nikki Stone
 Photo courtesy of Nikki Stone.

If you break out in a cold sweat or even feel butterflies when

you think about standing in front of others for a presentation
or interview, you are not alone. Fear of public speaking is
estimated to affect 75 percent of adults. Rethinking the way
we perceive stress may actually improve our physical and
mental performance. It may be easier to give in to our fears,
but you will accomplish much more in life and feel a greater
sense of pride for facing them.

For some people, with just a little effort they have the ability
to conquer these fears. For others, it takes a lot more work
and some tips or tools for masking these mental pressures. I
understand the need for these tools all too well because I
myself was an honorary member of the latter set of
individuals and worked tremendously hard to make it look
like I’m a member of the former.

In the past 19 years as a speaker, I’ve found that there are

five tools I’ve used to demonstrate the strongest level of
confidence when I’m on the stage. Regardless of whether
I’m in front of a few business clients or thousands of
audience members, these five tips have helped me
communicate presentations that I can always be proud of.
1. Get the audience laughing.
In my experience, I’ve found that opening with a joke always
starts a speech off in the right direction. It immediately
lightens the mood in the room and helps me relax. There is
something about looking out in the audience and seeing
smiling faces that helps create a bond — particularly if I can
get the audience to join me in laughing at myself. Laugh at
yourself is incredibly self-deprecating, and if you get others
to join you in that laughter, then it creates a level of trust.
The laughter allows your attendees to break down the wall
that forces them to see themselves as vastly different from
you.

2. Focus on people who are nodding.

When you feel like you aren’t connecting with your
attendees it can be extremely nerve wracking. And your
nerves can be taken to a whole other level if there are
people who appear completely disinterested. You can often
look out in the audience and find a few people who are
nodding along with your story or points. There is a real
sense of reassurance when someone is agreeing with you.
And the more you focus on these individuals, the more
confident you sound. And the more confident you sound, the
more people you attract. Part way through your talk, you
could likely find a room full of people nodding along with you
or sitting on the edge of their seats hanging on your every
word. All of a sudden, the nerves are gone.

3. Be expressive with your emotions.

When I first started speaking, I can admit that I was
nervous. I watched videos of my speeches and realized that
I sounded AND looked nervous. There are times that no
matter what you tell yourself to calm your concerns, it just
doesn’t work. Anxieties aren’t always the easiest thing to
quell. I realized that I was just more prone to tensions when
I kicked off my presentations. I often couldn’t stop the
tensions, but I found that I could hide them. Playing up my
emotions by really getting into the excitement of my story or
working to honestly feel the disappointment I had
experienced, I was able to mask the jitters. It’s much easier
to hide one emotion with another than it is to hide an
emotion by suppressing it.

4. Practice, practice, practice.

There are many people that believe that speaking is
something you are good at or not. I have learned through
personal experience that speaking is something you can
build up — but, you have to be willing to put in the time.
When I started speaking I realized I needed to work on my
skills so I went to 100 different Rotary clubs around the Los
Angeles area and offered to speak for free if I could place a
video camera in the back of the room. After each
engagement, I’d review the videos to see what I could
improve. Just as in school, sports and business, the more I
practiced, the more confident I was and the better I’d
perform. As an aerial skier, I would do my jumps hundreds —
if not thousands — of times before I would perform a
maneuver in competition. I realized that speaking should be
no different. With more and more practice delivering
speeches, I could visibly see my performances improving.
And you can’t help but gain self-esteem with the more
experience you have.

5. Be prepared if you make a mistake.

One of the most important lessons I learned as a speaker
actually came from late-night TV. I saw an interview with
Johnny Carson and he confessed to preparing a joke that
he’d keep on hand if and when he made a blunder. No matter
how professional someone is and how long they have
spoken, everyone makes mistakes. And the mistakes
actually make people appear more human and come across
as more relatable. But, when we become uncomfortable with
slip-ups and gaffes, then our audience becomes more
uncomfortable as well. As I shared in my first tip, laughing at
ourselves can put everyone at ease. So try preparing a
comment like, “I guess those swan dives off our family loft
as a child did have its repercussions.” It helps you suppress
some of your speaking fears when you know you have one or
two “get out of jail free” cards on hand.

So no matter if speaking is your number one fear or you just

want to come across with more confidence, the cold sweats
and internal butterflies will soon be a thing of the past.

Motivational Tips and Tools:

As an Olympian, best-seller, inspirational speaker and
Biggest Loser motivational expert, I’m often asked for tips,
tools, quotes and activities to help people reach their goals.
I like to end all of my blogs with short tools that are driven
from actual advice I’ve shared.

This week’s tip:

Confidence comes from within and no one can create it for

you. You won’t build confidence if you don’t take action.
Know that making yourself uncomfortable a couple times
will help you feel more comfortable in the same situation
forever after. The people who actually look the most
awkward are the ones who are afraid to try.

What are the ingredients of confident public speaking? How can you become a fearless
speaker? The recipe for how to become fearless as a public speaker involves a careful
mix of passion for your message plus a large sprinkling of authenticity. Let's get
cooking...

When we first start speaking it's natural to ask the question "how can I become more
confident at public speaking?" "How can I become fearless as a speaker?" When adrenaline
gets into our body when we're nervous it plays havoc with our abilities to act normally. We
just want to be good enough, to get through our public speaking without showing the
audience our nerves.

Most public speakers stress and struggle about trying to "seem confident" and "look fearless",
irrespective of how they're feeling inside. They often fall into the trap of pushing nerves away
to show the audience a plastic sheen of confident public speaking. But so long as you're
pushing away your fears and nerves, you're acting, rather than connecting with your
audience.

Truly powerful public speaking starts not with 100% confident public speaking, but
with talking from the heart.

Take Jamie Oliver's TED Talk, for example; not the most confident public speaking ever (he
walks around too much, flaps his notes and clearly looks nervous!), but a deeply powerful
and deeply moving speech nonetheless. Passion is what we remember about a speaker - not
their confidence. Audiences are enthralled by delicious, humble, genuine, and emotional
public speaking experiences, so if you really want to move your audience, that's where you
need to live as a speakers.

Rather than pushing away your nerves and becoming a robot speaker who's technically "very
good" and seems "very confident", I'd like to show you how to become a Fearless speaker,
who uses your nervous energy for good, rather than pushing it away.

What is the recipe for confident, fearlessness public speaking?

Being fearless is not about a lack of fear. It's about taking that fear and transforming it into
excitement and energy around your message. It's like fire. We can either look at the fire and
say "oh, that might burn something, I have to put it out..." in which case we end up with a sad
pile of cinders. Or we can stick a barbecue on top of the fire and turn it into something useful
for ourselves and our friends.

In a similar way, your fire as a speaker could be used in the right way to inspire your
audience. From here you find deeply confident public speaking, rather than the superficial
confidence that comes with 'managing' your nerves.

On a practical level, then, how do you develop fearless, confident public speaking?
CONFIDENT PUBLIC SPEAKING INGREDIENT 1: Positive mental imagery
Psychologists have found that deeply confident public speakers actually seethemselves that
way in their mental imagery. If your mental imagery is constantly reinforcing your lack of
confidence, this is what will show up in your speaking. To unpick your mental imagery, you
can do the following:

1. Picture yourself speaking. What senses are stimulated? What do you see or smell or
hear? Do you feel confident or nervous? What in your mental imagery makes it that
way?
2. Now play with this mental image, picture yourself looking out from your body.
Change the colors in the room and see what happens to your confidence. How do you
see your audience? Sitting or standing? Are they close or far? Now adjust the
audience in your mental image until you feel powerful.
3. Are there any "scary" people in the audience? Snipers or unreceptive audience
members? Picture them with a clown nose and see if it makes you feel more
confident. Do it. Yes it seems silly but do it anyway.
4. Do you hear laughter or silence? Try both and see which reaction "feels" confident.
5. Is your body heavy or light? Is the floor soft and inviting or hard and firm beneath
your feet? Usually a firm grounding with the floor in your mental imagery will make
you feel more confident
6. Practice these shifts in your mental image every time you think about giving your
speech - this will help you to rewire the nervous habits of your brain to access your
confidence (Especially the clown nose part!)

CONFIDENT PUBLIC SPEAKING INGREDIENT 2: Visualizing public speaking

success.
Create that positive affirmative space by literally seeing yourself presenting with confidence.
Think your own inner movie... no subtitles necessary.

 Close your eyes and imagine yourself breathing in confidence as a color and exhaling
fear as a different color. Breathe in and out. Now imagine yourself walking
confidently into a room.
 See all around you. Notice the look and feel of the place. Enjoy the audience.
  As you begin speaking, suddenly you're in the mind of the audience, amazed at how
well informed and entertaining you are. Go through your entire speech this way.
 As you begin to conclude your speech, go back to your own self and revel in your
powerful and confident public speaking. Look at your smiling audience who are
thanking you for your words.
 This is your public speaking power. Take it with you out of your visualization.
Remember this feeling in the place where your confidence lives. In your "gut" or
stomach or your heart.

CONFIDENT PUBLIC SPEAKING INGREDIENT 3: Demon Slaying.

The inner critic or 'inner demon' is the negative inner dialogue that can surround your
speaking. Most of us have some kind of inner dialogue that diminishes our confidence as a
speaker, if we chose to believe it.

So get aware of negative 'thoughts inside the head' and overcome them by:

 Giving it space to 'burn itself out' - sometimes when you listen to an inner demon you
just know it isn't true.
 Show it all the reasons why you should be confident by focusing on all your past
successes in communication. Even if you're not an experienced speaker, look at all the
other communication scenarios where you have succeeded.
 Make friends with the demon. After all, it just wants you to be safe, so it's really your
friend. But, like any other friend who's trying to hold you back, if you give it a bit of
love and patience, it will eventually calm down.
 If the demon is still not on your side, try banishing it. Imagine pushing it off a cliff,
throwing it in the trash, or sending it up on a space craft. You don't need him any
more.

CONFIDENT PUBLIC SPEAKING INGREDIENT 4: A juicy stage persona.

Confident public speaking is not about putting on an act, but it can help to adopt a stage
persona that helps you stretch into the full and fearless parts of your character. This key is
that this is you - it's just a fuller version of you unleashed on stage.

To develop a fearless stage persona, ask yourself the following questions:

  What are your best qualities as a speaker? (Don't be shy now!) Are you cool or
compassionate or gruff and focused? Are you a powerful peacemaker or a wizard of
change?
 What might your 'trademark' features be? What are your hands doing? Are you slow
and calculated with your movements or energetic and moving about the stage?
Develop these internal traits and utilize them to make confident public speaking
second nature.
 What's a name you could give your stage persona? Names are fun. Play with this. (I
used to be 'Energizer Bunny' and now I'm, well, 'Ginger')

If this doesn't come easily, give yourself permission to use a persona. Some actors call this
"turning the lights on". The lights were there all the time... you just need a spark of
electricity.

Mixing up the ingredients...

Memorable speakers have a recipe of certainty and confidence that belongs to them alone,
they are the creator of their confident public speaking "dish".

Confident public speaking and fearlessness are not 'given' to us by someone, they are honed
through practice and time preparing in the "kitchen of your mind". Confident public speaking
means that you have sought out the best recipe, fearlessness and energetic confidence that
your message is scrumptious, even though it's not always easy to make.

You have the ability to feel that sense of power and deep confidence that, not only do you
believe in your message, but you also have the ability to convert that fear into the exquisitely
delicious energy to say whatever is needed. How to become fearless comes from inside of
you. From that voice of certainty that shows you the amazing presenter who was there all
along. With your chef hat and a cute bit of flour on the tip of your nose, you CAN learn how
to become fearless and show your audience the confident public speaking that lives inside...
of you. And remember... audiences are HUNGRY. Bon appetit.
Confident public speaking through Ginger Public Speaking. If you want to become
more confident at public speaking, why not join one of our public speaking courses?
You're most welcome!

1. Self-consciousness in front of large groups. This is probably the most

frequently named reason people feel performance anxiety while speaking. It's
very common for a speech coach to hear: "I'm fine talking to small groups. But
when it's [50] [100] [400] people (or a similarly "large" number), I get really
anxious." Two strategies will help: (1) Remember that the people in a sizable
audience are exactly the same ones you talk to individually, and (2)
Concentrate on having a conversation with your listeners. You'll be at your best
in every way.
2. Fear of appearing nervous. I'm not sure if this is what FDR meant when he
said "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." But you may fear that
you'll look fearful. Then you may make a leap of illogic and tell yourself that
once the audience notices your nervousness, everyone will realize you don't
really know your topic. Of course, the two aren't linked at all. For instance, if you
see that a speaker is nervous, what do you think? It's probably, "Poor him or
her! . . . I'd be nervous up there too." If anything, your audience will extend you
sympathy. So believe that that's what will happen.
3. Concern that others are judging you. The tough love message concerning
this fear of public speaking, is that people really don't care about you. They're in
the audience to get something out of your lecture, presentation, speech, or talk.
They sincerely would like their time to have been well spent in coming here.
You can also console yourself with the knowledge that watching a speaker fail
is embarrassing for all present. That means that audiences are actually pulling
for you.