Javier Grillo-Marxuach

LECTURE: 2.8.2022 (CMU)

ESSAY INCEPT: 2.10.2022
FIRST DRAFT: 2.25.2022
CURRENT DRAFT: 2.28.2022

WHAT I DO ON THE PAGE

One of the most annoying things about art is that the moment you
describe a rule, someone far more clever and talented will find
a way to not only break it, but also turn the rupture into
something so beautiful as to provoke coma-inducing professional
envy. Screenwriting is no exception.

Some or all of what I am about to say may strike you as my

trying to make "rules" out of my personal preferences, or
excessive deference to (or defiance of) tradition, or, simply,
bullshit. This is why the first and most important
recommendation I make in presenting my technical advice is that
you choose what works for you, ignore what doesn't, and mock
what you find risible.

What follows is not a lesson, but rather, an explanation of how

and why I write screenplays the way I do. I present this in the
hope that by justifying my own style, habits both good and bad,
quirks, grace notes, and pet peeves, you will be moved to dig
deeper into your own practice and how it may be improved.

You are also welcome to read everything below and declare that I
am overthinking it and, really, should just try writing. That's

Page 1 of 41
fair enough, and I offer no counter. This sort of granular
analysis of the page is part of how I do, and no two writers are
the same in this respect.

Feel free to pity my micromania.

---

At some point or another, all screenwriters must endure the

calumny that "a script is a blueprint for a film." To many, this
means that a script need provide little more than a basic
narrative beachhead to be occupied, and subsequently elevated,
by the brilliance of the actors, director, cinematographer, and
so on and so on and so on.

While it is true that the core function of a script is to

provide a basis from which every other artist working on a film
can excel their craft, I also believe that a script needs to be
much, much, more than a "blueprint" in order to succeed. To me,
there have to be a poetics of screenwriting servicing a greater
aesthetic cause than the mere needs of production. To me, a
successful script is one that strives to be as readable and
literate as any novel, short story, or poem.

In short, a script needs to be a work of art in and of itself.

Why? Because a script needs to persuade on multiple levels in
order to truly succeed, and a work of art is a powerful tool for
persuasion.

The first and most prosaic of these levels is as a work order:

Without a script with clearly numbered scenes labeled with slug

lines describing the story's locations, an assistant director
cannot create a grid in which the scenes are conformed to the
number of shooting days, and the time spent in each set and
location is allocated.

Without clarity on the page, the production designer, art

department, set builders, costume designers, prop makers, and
location scouts have no baseline from which to manifest all the
things necessary for the story to be told.

Without clarity on the page, no one will know where to take all
the cameras, and lights, and snacks for the crew.

Page 2 of 41
Without a script that comprehensively lays out the business of
its scenes, sequences, and greater story, none of the logistical
challenges of physical production can be met.

Moving up a level, a script is also a loan application.

As profane as this may sound to us artistes, writing a script

for film and tv is simply a protracted way of asking someone
with money if they will give you some of that money that you may
render a story that up until now existed only in your brain...
all of it for mutual profit. For that reason, the script has to
be the closest possible approximation of - if not seeing the
actual movie - the emotions and effect of having seen the movie.

The worst thing a person, especially one with money, can say
after reading a script is "I can't see it." Therein lies one of
the biggest challenges of the entire endeavor: you have to use
the static medium of words to create the illusion of a medium
that is not only visual but which moves at its own speed without
the intervention of the reader. Someone can always put down a
book, walking out of a movie you have already paid to see is
usually last resort.

Wishful thinking notwithstanding, most novelists know that their

work will not be consumed in a single sitting. For a
screenwriter, however, there can be no worse fate. Every time
the reader pauses, the possibility of that check getting signed
dwindles. Appreciably.

A screenplay, then, is a description of motion and emotion in

real time.

Finally, a script is a confessional and exegetic outpouring of a

writer's innermost emotional pain made real through drama
rendered through the most competent and accomplished deployment
of their artistic experience and ability.

Or so I've heard.

---

One of my favorite showrunners is famous among his colleagues

for putting a sign above the writers' room white board that
reads "DON'T STOP THE FUN TRAIN." It's his nice way of staving
off excessive nitpicking in the story development process, and
saying "we need the fig leaf of plausibility not the mink coat

Page 3 of 41
of certainty." Presumptuously, I extend this philosophy it to
every aspect of writing, from the allegedly mystical spark of an
idea to the physical location of the words on the page.

How much you ask your words to do, and where you place them on
the page to do that work is a good metric by which you can gauge
the end reader's experience: which you want to be fleet and
entertaining, regardless of theme or subject matter.

So maybe you aren't driving the fun train. Maybe it's the
sadness train, or the unintended and tragic consequences train,
or the quiet indie about not much but really EVERYTHING train...

... still, they're all trains, and they need sustained and
propulsive forward motion to fulfill their purpose.

---

The most obvious difference between a script and pretty much any
other form of prose is the format. The screenplay format exists
to facilitate the first, most technical functions of a script:
describing the logistical demands of production.

That doesn't mean, however, that the format's demands, made in

service of workaday concerns like whether a scene takes place
indoor or outdoors, day or night, or the location where it
occurs can't become the instruments of an artist. There is no
reason why slug lines, shot calls, transitions, and all the
other cogs and gears of the screenplay format can't serve the
same purpose as the syllabic limitations of a haiku or the
repetition of phrases demanded of a villanelle.

Properly deployed, the technical requirements of a screenplay

format become a set of tools that the writer can use to fill the
technical bill, keep the audience reading, and, ultimately,
create art.

To me, that "proper deployment" consists of using all of the

elements at hand to create a "visual flow" on the page.

A common strategy in reading prose is to save time by skimming

down the middle of the page. A script is an invitation to do
this because the dialogue - which tends to comprise the greatest
volume in a script - occupies the center of the page
exclusively. It is common, then, for people who read scripts for

Page 4 of 41
work to only read the dialogue in the hopes that it will provide
the necessary context to understand the greater story.

While this sort of speed reading may save time, it completely

counters the writer's purpose in writing the script: to engage
the imagination of the readers so the movie comes to life in
their heads.

In addition to the obstacle presented by the possibility of the

reader skimming through the dialogue, there's a second, even
more insidious, barricade to cross: the sad truth that reading
scripts for a living is a tedious and soul sucking job.

Why? Because everyone whose job it is to read scripts has an

endless river of material coming at them from all sides. They
don't get to pick what they read and most of the time they have
to read in their spare time. Agencies, management companies,
studios and networks don't budget office time for reading. Most
scripts, regardless of their auspices, arrive at the viewer's
desk not as a pleasure, but as homework. With a side of spinach.

"Creating a visual flow on the page," then is the writer's

version of what the director does with the camera: keep the
viewer's eyes on what's important. Writing-wise, I am not
talking about "directing on the page" or telling the director
where to put the camera, but rather to deploy the elements of
the format in such a way as to drive the reader's attention
through the page the same way the director will use camera
angles and editing in the final product.

"Creating a visual flow on the page" is my way of saying that

your pages need to not just command the reader's attention, but
also control the narrative pace and dissemination of information
to steer the reader to the experience you want.

The screenplay format, it turns out, offers some very effective

ways to accomplish just that.

---

Appended to this essay are the first few pages of a pilot script
I was commissioned to write by the NBC television network, a
reboot of the 1990's syndicated television series Xena: Warrior
Princess. I am using this sample not because it I think it to be
some transcendent masterpiece, but rather because the opening
scenes of a network pilot, especially, have to carry a lot of

Page 5 of 41
freight. From introducing characters and setting to presenting a
piece of dramatic or physical action compelling enough that the
viewer will be left with no recourse but to power through the
main titles to the rest of the story, pilot openings have a lot
of work to do.

Successfully bearing these weights requires a great deal of

craft. I will leave it to you to decide how well I have deployed
mine.

---

Tradition and habit dictate that screenplays begin with "FADE

IN." I find that to be a waste of space and time. The drum you
will hear beaten continually in what follows is this: any
combination of words on the page that does not actively propel
the forward motion of the story is death.

In that spirit, my Xena pilot begins like this...

TEASER

A TORCH BREAKS THE DARKNESS... THEN ANOTHER... AND ANOTHER...

As six SOLDIERS in black resolve through the inky gloom of:

EXT. THRACIAN COUNTRYSIDE - NIGHT

The soldiers STOP. Into torchlight STRIDES THEIR LEADER.

You know his name. Synonymous with strength and virility. His
appearance - from the cunning, brutally handsome eyes to the
muscular
The shoulders
first word, (armored
"TEASER" with because
is there the indestructible pelt of
this is a network
the Nemean lion) and powerful hands grasping a knotted
pilot, which means it has anywhere between four to six act club
only a demigod could wield - bears out the legend.
breaks to make room for commercials, and a teaser that leads to
main
Thistitles and thenHe
is HERCULES. either
looks into
past the
the first
trees act or more
to see...
commercials.

EXT. CASTLE
I could OF DIOMEDES
have probably - CONTINUOUS
gotten rid of it as with the "FADE IN:"
but ultimately made the call to keep it for two reasons, one, to
Looming
make sure in darkness:
everyone seesa that
creepy and imposingthe
I "understood tower and stables
assignment" and
overgrown
two, becausewith ancient
I want trees, to
the reader guarded by ARMORED
know that this isSENTRIES.
the sort of
script
RESUMEdesigned for a "grab the audience" aesthetic.
ON HERCULES
As his nephew, IOLAUS, scampers to him. He’s a scamperer.
IOLAUS Page 6 of 41
Any sign of the giant?
HERCULES
Giant’s asleep.
"TEASER" is my way of saying "no, this is not going to be an emo
slow burn like in those boring "prestige" dramas - shit's gonna
go down, and then get twisted, and then cliff-hanged because I
am going to need you to stay after the commercials and thus need
to keep the action at a decent clip."

Does the reader really get all that from the word "TEASER"?

Probably not... but there are worse things than attempting to

teach your audience what to expect and make them comfortable
from jump-street.

So, in place of the staid and trite FADE IN (how many movies
actually fade in nowadays anyway?) I chose to let you know that
we start in darkness and that darkness breaks with the fire of
several torch-bearing soldiers. I do this to set a tone early:
yes, it's Xena, but not your mother's Xena; which was mostly
shot in daytime to save money (this sort of light action
adventure show shot on a budget used to be referred to as a
"blue sky" show).

This also speaks to tone: torchlight breaking darkness and

anonymous soldiers indicates mood and mystery. From the very
first few words I want to create what a colleague of mine once
called "good confusion," I want you asking "what is going on?"
to yourself as you wonder where this is going.

What I don't want is for you to loudly and frustratedly ask

"what's going on?" as you prepare to already throw the script
across the room. That's "bad confusion." So I put the reader in
the dark and have some imposing men move in.

Hopefully the reader will want to know who those men are.

Finally, the slug line following this couplet serves as a sort

of reveal - I have placed the reader both literally and
figuratively in the dark for two lines... my hope then is that
the revelation of location and time anchors the good confusion
and launches you into the fray.

Overthinking it? Yes.

That's how I do. Fasten your seat belts.

---

Page 7 of 41
Before moving on, a word about bolding and underlining. Wars big
and small have been fought between writers as to whether to bold
and/or underline slug lines and other elements in the screenplay
format.

I have never stopped reading a script because something was

bolded, or not, or underlined, or not, or bolded and underlined,
or not. There is no UN Security Council of bolding and
underlining, and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
has not issued a ruling. So this is one of those judgment calls
that will be debated for as long as writers have a need to
procrastinate.

The reason I bold the capital letters in a number of the

elements in my scripts is that they vary the visual environment
of the page. If my goal is guide the reader's eye as it moves
across the page, then a bold element among plain text prose and
dialogue can provide a visual change that catches the reader's
attention even before they read the bolded element.

Part of the contract between the reader and writer is that the
latter isn't going to squander the former's time. Too many bolds
and capitals create a busy and disorienting visual environment
on the page. At the same time, large chunks of dense text
followed and long columns of dialogue make me feel like I am
road tripping to Marfa on a two lane blacktop with no world in
sight. Your page is not just a place to put your text, it's a
canvas, and there's no reason it shouldn't look pretty.
TEASER
---
A TORCH BREAKS THE DARKNESS... THEN ANOTHER... AND ANOTHER...
The
As first slug line
six SOLDIERS in in the resolve
black Xena script reads...
through the inky gloom of:

EXT. THRACIAN COUNTRYSIDE - NIGHT

The soldiers STOP. Into torchlight STRIDES THEIR LEADER.
You know his name. Synonymous with strength and virility. His
appearance
This - from slug
is a terrible the cunning,
line and brutally
every timehandsome
I read eyes
it I to the
cringe
muscular shoulders (armored with the indestructible pelt of
for
theall the opportunities
Nemean missed.
lion) and powerful On agrasping
hands technical level, the
a knotted clubline
fulfills its purpose:
only a demigod could it tells
wield the assistant
- bears director and crew
out the legend.
that the scene takes place outside, in the country, and what
Thisofisday
time HERCULES.
the sceneHe takes
looks place.
past the trees to see...

EXT. CASTLE OF DIOMEDES - CONTINUOUS

Looming in darkness: a creepy and imposing tower and stables
Page 8 of 41
overgrown with ancient trees, guarded by ARMORED SENTRIES.
RESUME ON HERCULES
The reason this slug line is a total clam is the word
"Thracian." Even now I had to stop to remember whether the place
was called "Thracia" because that doesn't sound right - then I
looked it up on Wikipedia to make sure that I have my facts
right and don't look like an idiot... it's "Thrace" by the way.

So I literally just tripped myself up a paragraph's worth for

absolutely no purchase other than to prove to you the shameful
truth that I do historical research on Wikipedia. What was that
pilot again? Who was the main character? What was I looking at
anyway?

When I see "Tracian countryside," I see the slug line equivalent

of a speed bump covered in spikes and doused with piss.

Skunk piss.

---

Screenwriting is often a subversion of the idea that good

writers "show don't tell." Counter-intuitive as it sounds to the
accepted poetics of prose narrative, screenwriters don't just
need to "tell don't show" quite a bit of the time, they also
need to "tell concisely, and efficiently" so that the reader
moves quickly from one idea to the next without second thoughts.

Imagine, then, that instead of reading...

EXT. THRACIAN COUNTRYSIDE - NIGHT

The slug read...

EXT. A FOREST IN ANCIENT GREECE - NIGHT

Neither is more elegant or poetic that the other... but, the

former sends you to Wikipedia to figure out if there ever was a
place called "Thracia," where it was, and who lived there. The
latter hands you an archetypal visual that plays with what came
previously, and tells you place and time - ancient Greece. The
second clause, "ancient Greece" gives you, if not a specific
visual of the soldiers, at least the idea that they are in some
version of the swords-and-sandals game.

With the extant slug, I have confused and slowed down the
reader, with the second, I have provided a faint glimmer of

Page 9 of 41
genre, a concrete sense of place, and a setting that is part of
a commonly understood storytelling mode.

Honestly, even though this script is several years old and will
never be produced, I frequently consider back and changing that
slug.
TEASER
---
A TORCH BREAKS THE DARKNESS... THEN ANOTHER... AND ANOTHER...
Continuing down the page, there's the introduction of a main
As six SOLDIERS
character in black
in both the pilotresolve through the inky gloom of:
and series:

EXT. THRACIAN COUNTRYSIDE - NIGHT

The soldiers STOP. Into torchlight STRIDES THEIR LEADER.

You know his name. Synonymous with strength and virility. His
appearance - from the cunning, brutally handsome eyes to the
muscular shoulders (armored with the indestructible pelt of
the Nemean lion) and powerful hands grasping a knotted club
only a demigod could wield - bears out the legend.

This is HERCULES. He looks past the trees to see...

EXT. CASTLE OF DIOMEDES - CONTINUOUS

First there's the visual - the man walking into light. Again,
another reveal.
Looming Much ofathe
in darkness: power
creepy andofimposing
film comes from
tower andhow things
stables
overgrown
enter withthe
and leave ancient
frametrees,
- bothguarded by ARMORED
conceptually SENTRIES.
and materially.
Hercules is not the titular character, so I am not going to give
himRESUME ON HERCULES
the best entrance, but he is profoundly important, so the
prose has to reflect power.
As his nephew, IOLAUS, scampers to him. He’s a scamperer.
This is why the soldiers STOP. I want you to STOP and pay
IOLAUS
attention... Any
thissign of the
is also giant?
why Hercules STRIDES in. Where the
others merely "resolve" into the light, Hercules enters
HERCULES
confidently, which I then drive home by telling you (I'll show
Giant’s asleep.
you later, don't worry) that he is the LEADER.
IOLAUS
I use words or clauses
They in all
say he’s capshis
trained frequently
beasts toin my prose
description. eat
Somethe flesh limit
writers of men.
themselves to only all-capping
sounds or verbs, I am a little looser with the convention. If I
HERCULESin the prose, I CAPS it, just to
need for you to SEE something
Calm down. They’re or
make sure you aren't skimming, just mares.
that if you are skimming, this
one catches the eye. IOLAUS
If they’re “just” that, why would
the King
As I said before, the send us...
use of allIcaps,
mean, as
you, to bolding, has to
with
steal them?
be weighed against how busy a line of prose, paragraph, or page
HERCULES
If this is how our liege wants to Page 10 of 41
taunt his enemies, then we will be
his hand.
(a smile)
you want to present: too much becomes mere visual noise.
Deciding what to highlight in your prose is no different from
the director's job in making sure your eye goes to the correct
place in the frame: you just have a different set of tools with
which to accomplish the same goal.

Then comes the paragraph describing Hercules. It's a separate

paragraph - why? Because at this moment, I want you to see that
I draw a line between what some may consider "editorializing"
and "what is actually happening on the screen."

One of the things I want to get across with the paragraph

describing Hercules is that even though this is a darker,
higher-budget, definitely-not-as-goofy version of the story than
its antecedent, I still want you to have fun, so this is where I
let some of my own voice slip in.

"You know his name" may not be the wittiest or most individual
of statements but it introduces a colloquial tone that will now
carry through the text. I want you to know I'm in charge as the
storyteller, that I have done my research as to Hercules's
appearance, and want to engage with you.

I want you to know you're in good and friendly hands.

---

Next on the agenda, everyone's favorite chore: exposition. The

hardest part of writing expository dialogue is making sure that
your characters aren't just telling each other things they
already know. This seems obvious, but you would be surprised.

One of the most egregious tropes in the pantheon of characters

telling each other what they know is the "recitation of the
resume" speech. This is when a character loudly declaims either
their own or someone else's resume to make a dramatic point.
You've seen this a million times.

A particularly egregious example is in the pilot for the TV

series Heroes:

"Mohinder, listen to me. Your father was my colleague and my

friend - a respected professor, a brilliant geneticist, but he
lost touch with reality!"

Page 11 of 41
No. The context of this scene is not that Mohinder had a head
injury that led to a loss of memory. This line takes place in a
scene in which a colleague tries to convince him not follow in
his old man's footsteps. Thing is, I'm pretty sure Mohinder
knows who and what his father was, and so does the guy saying
this.

Now, I am not going to give you the bulldada that your

characters should "talk like real people" - all dialogue is
artifice.TEASER
Your job isn't to mirror the way people talk in
"reality"A but
TORCHto convince
BREAKS the reader
THE DARKNESS... of a reality
THEN ANOTHER... in which
AND ANOTHER...
people talk the way you write them.
As six SOLDIERS in black resolve through the inky gloom of:

So the infraction here is not that the dialogue doesn't sound

EXT. THRACIAN
like something COUNTRYSIDE
someone would -actually
NIGHT say, but rather that the
line serves a clearSTOP.
The soldiers technical purpose
Into torchlight thatTHEIR
STRIDES is in no way
LEADER.
supportedYou
byknow
thehiswriter's craft. It practically emits a screech
name. Synonymous with strength and virility. His
as it stops the read.
appearance - from the cunning, brutally handsome eyes to the
muscular shoulders (armored with the indestructible pelt of
the Nemean lion) and powerful hands grasping a knotted club
All that said,
only here is
a demigod mywield
could attempt atout
- bears some early-in-the
the legend. pilot
exposition:
This is HERCULES. He looks past the trees to see...

EXT. CASTLE OF DIOMEDES - CONTINUOUS

Looming in darkness: a creepy and imposing tower and stables
overgrown with ancient trees, guarded by ARMORED SENTRIES.
RESUME ON HERCULES
As his nephew, IOLAUS, scampers to him. He’s a scamperer.

IOLAUS
Any sign of the giant?
HERCULES
Giant’s asleep.
IOLAUS
They say he’s trained his beasts to
eat the flesh of men.
HERCULES
Calm down. They’re just mares.
IOLAUS
If they’re “just” that, why would
the King send us... I mean, you, to
steal them?
HERCULES
If this is how our liege wants to
taunt his enemies, then we will be
his hand.
(a smile)
Long as his gold lasts.

Page 12 of 41
This brief exchange carries a great deal of freight: it has to
specify that Hercules is the leader in case you didn't get it
from him wearing the pelt of the Nemean lion and from WHEN I
TOLD YOU. It has to establish that Hercules is on a mission (so
making Iolaus afraid of the mission at least gives a dramatic
reason for them rehashing their plan in some way. For history
buffs, the scene establishes that this is one of Hercules's
legendary labors... and in the final line, there's a hint that
this Hercules is a lot more mercenary than his noble and
equanimous incarnation in the original Xena show.

A few lines down in the the scene Iolaus refers to Hercules as

"uncle" thus explaining their relationship, and the particulars
of the mission come into focus as Hercules reconnoiters the
target with his men. Additionally, the dialogue here serves to
establish tone.

The style-target for this show is that sort of mid-Atlantic,

profound-and-portentous-though-not-really-Shakespearean, quasi-
BBC, Game of Thrones-adjacent type of speech. My hope is that
the way the characters speak tells you that while I am going to
be colloquial in my scene descriptions, these heroes belong to
another time, place, and conversational style.

This new Xena is intended to be epic, and even the coward Iolaus
talks pretty.

In apropos of Iolaus, his introductory description is short and

sweet. You already have an idea what company he keeps and what
context he is in from the opening of the scene, so all I really
need to do is to intimate that he is cowardly and perhaps mousy
in contrast to his uncle. So I double down on the term "scamper"
with "scamperer." To me this is a single and vivid word that
even intimates the nervous scurrying of a mouse with the way it
sounds coming out of the mouth. The clause "He's a scamperer" is
sort of like a punchline - it's me telling you that this is all
you need to know about this guy. The rest of his trepidatious
character can come through in dialogue.

Another part of the reason for the brevity of Iolaus's

introduction is that I don't want to slow the story down before
I bring out the title character...

Page 13 of 41
 Hercules shoots him a silencing glare then motions a huddle:
HERCULES
Split into three teams, attack
simultaneously, take out the
sentries, then steal the mares.
IOLAUS
And if our strife awakens the giant
before we can get to the stables?

HERCULES
Then I crush the giant.

A commanding FEMALE VOICE sounds out from behind Iolaus:

FEMALE VOICE
Why not just sneak in and take the
horses?
HERCULES TURNS TO SEE XENA - ENTERING INTO TORCHLIGHT

EPIC in black armor. Face slashed with war paint. She’s every
bit as imposing as the men, every bit as capable, and
significantly smarter and more ambitious.
HERCULES
Xena. This is not smash-and-grab.
The mares of Diomedes are feral -
IOLAUS XENA
They eat the flesh of -
I’ve heard the myths. But
with your plan, if the guards
put up a fight, we’ll awaken
the entire compound before
the prize is in our hands.

Hercules shoots Xena a shut-down glare. She understands, and

stops talking, backing away as Hercules waves in the huddle:
HERCULES
Iolaus, Pentacles, Cortus: lie in
So, as Hercules bosses
wait. the when
Signal men around, and Iolaus persists in
the guard
changes.
his pusillanimous abetting of exposition, Xena enters the scene
- first as a disembodied (MORE)
voice that draws the men's attention,
then in a shot call that details her entrance in bold and all
caps, then in the moment I take to tell you that she is a
badass, and then Xena's first line on camera.

Ideally, the blocking within the scene makes your head

metaphorically turn with the literal turning the characters, the
shot call tells you what you are looking at, the description
tells you what it means, and the first line serves as a very
expedient character witness. While everyone else is in awe of
Hercules and takes his orders, our heroine has other ideas.

Page 14 of 41
Basically, I gave myself three bites at the apple to make sure
no one doubts that this is the titular character.

---

Shot calls, like the one I use to show Xena's entrance into the
scene, are a place where I like to load a lot of visual
information. Many writers restrict themselves to "ANGLE ON" or
"RESUME ON" shot calls. In my mind, this is underusing a very
powerful element: the one that tells you "Hey! Same scene but
new thing!"

For me, shot calls are extremely helpful in delineating changes

in the location within the scene, what the characters are seeing
that you were not seeing before but should be seeing now, who is
important that we see in this new field of vision, and any other
significant visual changes caused by the unfolding of the plot
within the scene.

Shot calls have also become a key element in how I write action.
They give me a natural place from which to separate bits of
information and keep the reader grounded in the geography of the
scene. I use the word "bit" very deliberately here because one
of my loose rules (I am sure I break it often, but you don't
have to call me out on it) is that no element should carry more
than a "bit" of visual information.

---

I take the word "bit" from the world of computing, where a bit
is the smallest possible unit of information: yes or no, zero or
one. By and large, I try to craft paragraphs that only ask you
to visualize one thing. If there is another thing to visualize,
I break the paragraph and move to the next one. One paragraph =
one bit.

This is my way of getting you to see only what I need you to

see. By holding any other information until it serves to move
the scene, I force myself to tell you only what is necessary for
the scene to proceed. Ideally, this way of handling the flow of
information does two things, first it helps in estimating the
total time it will take to tell the story.

There's a loosely accepted guideline in the writing community

that says each page equals one minute of screen time, but that

Page 15 of 41
only works if you break down the action in a consistent manner.
A single line that reads "the Roman legion marches to the
XENA - "Destroyer
fortress, of and
lays siege, Nations"
burns- it
WRITER'S FINAL escaping on 2.
down before
horseback with the treasure" also throws the timing of the
script into turmoil. IOLAUS
These labors - they only get harder
That plot pointand...
can bethis
an one’s
entirebad, uncle
act, sequence, movie, or a
Hercules. I can feel it. They say
single line of the
dialogue.
Giant canThat plota point
crush also describes a
man’s skull
massive expenditure of
with his -time and money which most budgets cannot
accommodate. On the technical level, accuracy in this respect is
Hercules
crucial shoots him to
for production a silencing glare then motions a huddle:
work effectively.
HERCULES
In my mind, "bits"
Splitare specific,
into bullet-like
three teams, attack pieces of
information that replicate thetake
simultaneously, real-time
out the motion of the image.
sentries,
Bits are defined not justthen
by steal the mares.
what piece of visual information
they present, but because that bit of visual information must be
IOLAUS
a focus becauseAnd
it if
serves plot or
our strife physical
awakens action, character, or
the giant
theme. before we can get to the stables?
HERCULES
Using single bit paragraphs, and paragraph breaks and shot calls
in concert allows me to do the
Then I crush the giant.
second thing: achieving that
"visual flow" I keep
A commanding talking
FEMALE VOICE about, a smoothly
sounds out flowing
from behind stream of
Iolaus:
synchronized text and placement of text that gives out the
FEMALE needing
necessary information without VOICE you to pause to figure
anything out. Why not just sneak in and take the
horses?
The fun, hopefully,
HERCULES train
TURNS TO rolls- on.
SEE XENA ENTERING INTO TORCHLIGHT

--- EPIC in black armor. Face slashed with war paint. She’s every
bit as imposing as the men, every bit as capable, and
significantly smarter and more ambitious.
You may have noticed in reading the dialogue above that I use a
weird variation of dual dialogue
HERCULES in Xena's introductory exchange
Xena.
with Hercules and This is not smash-and-grab.
Iolaus:
The mares of Diomedes are feral -

IOLAUS XENA
They eat the flesh of -
I’ve heard the myths. But
with your plan, if the guards
put up a fight, we’ll awaken
the entire compound before
the prize is in our hands.

Hercules shoots Xena a shut-down glare. She understands, and

stops
I have beentalking, backing
using this away as Hercules
construction waves in
for a while themixed
with huddle:
results. Most of the time, the readers get that I don't want the
HERCULES
actors to actually talk over one Cortus:
Iolaus, Pentacles, another,
liebut
in that the way the
dialogue is formatted is intended
wait. Signal when theto imply an uptick in the
guard
changes.
(MORE)
Page 16 of 41
 Hercules shoots him a silencing glare then motions a huddle:

HERCULES
Split into three teams, attack
simultaneously, take out the
sentries, then steal the mares.
rhythm of the scene. The format is there to indicate that Xena
has no time for Iolaus'sIOLAUS
dissembling and is going to continue
And if our strife awakens the giant
talking as if it
before we canturn...
were her get to the stables?

Enough times, however, the HERCULES

script has come back from someone
asking if this is a formattinggiant.
Then I crush the error. Now, I think the purpose
of this formatting is sort of self-evident, but, asIolaus:
A commanding FEMALE VOICE sounds out from behind the old
adage goes, if enough people tell you you are drunk... you're
drunk. That much said, IFEMALE
do like how this formatting lays out
VOICE
Why not just sneak
the words on the page - it breaks up in andthe
take the down the center"
"read
horses?
dynamic and the change in layout is a sign to the reader that
things are changing
HERCULES TURNS TOinSEE
the scene.
XENA - ENTERING INTO TORCHLIGHT

EPIC
My fix in in black armor.
scripts I have Face slashed
written with
after war one
this paint. She’s
is to addevery
a
bit as imposing
parenthetical as very
stating the men, everythe
clearly bitintent
as capable,
of theandformatting:
significantly smarter and more ambitious.

HERCULES
Xena. This is not smash-and-grab.
The mares of Diomedes are feral -

IOLAUS XENA
They eat the flesh of - (cutting him off)
I’ve heard the myths. But
with your plan, if the guards
put up a fight, we’ll awaken
the entire compound before
the prize is in our hands.

Hercules shoots Xena a shut-down glare. She understands, and

Whilestops talking, backing away as Hercules waves in the huddle:
I prefer the empty space from a purely graphic standpoint,
this is one of those places where clarity is crucial, so the
HERCULES
parenthetical stays.
Iolaus, Pentacles, Cortus: lie in
wait. Signal when the guard
--- changes.
(MORE)
Parentheticals are a place where I allow myself a lot of
latitude. For me the perfect parenthetical is one that gives the
actors additional information about their motivation without
overtly directing them. "Cutting him off" is a good example of
this. "Shutting him up" might have been a better one.

Either way, this sort of parenthetical serves to describe action

and motion. Whether this motion is emotional ("Cutting him
off"/"Shutting him up") or physical ("Turning from
Iolaus"/"Holding her hand up") you will notice that the opening
verb always ends in "ing."

Page 17 of 41
Again, the point here is to never stop the motion. Even emotion
needs to be active and seeking a goal. One of my least favorite
parentheticals is the time-honored "beat" or "pause." Though
effective in communicating a temporary stop as part of the
motion of the scene, I avoid these two because they don't
provide any further insight. A "beat" could just as easily be an
ellipsis in the middle of the speech. For me a parenthetical has
to do more to earn its keep.

So instead of "beat" I may go for something like "considering,"

"processing," "letting it sit there." Any one of these indicate
a change in the state of mind of the character in a way that
presents the pause without causing one for the reader.

This is a distinction with a serious difference in terms of the

smoothness of the read.

---

I also use parentheticals to suggest the subtext of a scene, or

to provide a colloquial reading of a line, for example, later in
this scene, Hercules exclaims "Zeus's balls!" as an expression
of surprise.

In the final script, the line occurs without embellishment, as I

figured the meaning is pretty clear in context. As I wrote the
script, however, that line had several parentheticals at
different times.

One of these parentheticals was just plain "what the fuck?" but
I felt that was overdoing it and kind of giving a line reading,
even if I occasionally use this as a parenthetical when
appropriate. A second possibility was "absolutely fuckstruck"
but with that one, I ran the risk of stopping the read even
longer since "fuckstruck" is not exactly a common term and may
have caused further confusion... not to mention that I didn't go
through all that trouble to establish Hercules as formidable to
have him get "fuckstruck" this early on.

So I left the line to fend for itself.

In consideration of that, you may ask yourself whether I am

laying it on too thick for the actors, trying to pre-empt their
choices in some way to make sure the line is delivered how I
want it. There's two answers to that, one, most mature writers
know that there is no such thing as an "actor proof

Page 18 of 41
script" (just as there is no such thing as a "director proof
script"). In fact, trusting trained professionals to do their
job well is part of the reason we chose this collaborative
medium. The actor's job is to interpret the line, so the
parentheticals will either guide that in a very pointed and
useful way or get ignored.

The second answer is that if actors are reading your script,

your script has most done much of its work already. If the actor
is reading it because they want to get attached to the project
or to produce the project, then they are no different than any
other reader. You take them on your journey until it becomes
your shared, collaborative journey.

If the actor is reading the script on their trailer or on set...

well, then you have successfully secured your loan, gotten a
director to commit, and have the backing of a major studio. All
of which is to say cut out the parenthetical, let the actors do
their job, grab ankle, and hope for the best...

...and by "the best" I mean "that if the actor makes a

completely bonkers choice, the director agrees with you on the
script and will gently guide the actor in the right direction."

---

Having now established that...

A. this is a darker show than it's predecessor both in tone and

literal setting...

B. but not so dark that I will recuse myself from using my

personal voice to address you...

C. that this show has higher budgets and ambitions than its
predecessor...

D. that Hercules is a main character, but he's a little wilier

than you may remember...

E. that he travels with his cowardly nephew...

F. that he is in the middle of his legendary labors but is not

doing them alone but with a team...

G. that these labors are paid for by a king...

Page 19 of 41
H. that they are here to steal mares from a giant named
Diomedes...

I. that the giant is a formidable foe... and finally...

J. that in Hercules's team is a loose cannon named Xena and she

is the only one who openly questions his judgment...

...the time to get our full-tilt boogie on is at hand.

(but first, and in apropos of the list above, if you think the
dialogue wasn't all that good or that the scene felt ham-fisted,
know that it was my best effort at establishing all of the
conditions stated above - the challenge here was both artistic
and logistical, as always, I leave it to you to decide whether
and how well I rose to it)

With all this expository and introductory business, it's time to

get some of that good ol' fashioned Xena: Warrior Princess ass-
kicking you came to see...

---

I view action sequences, musical numbers, and sex scenes as all

serving the same purpose: they are what happens when dialogue is
no longer sufficient to carry the action. All three of these
types of action, from singing to fighting to fucking, have the
same basic requirements of any scene:

A. a three-act narrative progression (by which I mean "a

beginning set-up in which the state of mind of the characters
and the geography are established, a middle with a complication
that changes the set up and creates obstacles for the
characters, and an end in which the dramatic conditions with
which the scene began have changed and so has the emotional
state of the characters)

B. Clear geography (most action sequences are about taking down

obstacles to get from point a. to point z., so I always begin
by picturing the physical space of the journey, then I replicate
that on the page so as to keep the reader anchored)

C. Air traffic control ("air traffic control" is my metaphor for

"know where every character is, what they are doing at all
times, and only tell the audience where the one character is

Page 20 of 41
that needs to be paid attention to in order for the scene to
unfold as clearly and concisely as possible")

In establishing that Hercules and his gang are reconnoitering

the Castle of Diomedes from a clearing in a forest, I made sure
that the initial description includes the stables and the
sentries guarding the perimeter. The geographical stakes are set
early on - well before the dramatic turn, which is when Xena
decides that she is tired of Hercules and Iolaus's conversation
and she's going to go at it alone.

Here is the opening of the action sequence... Hercules and his

men are in a huddle making a plan, and Xena is not into it...
XENA - "Destroyer of Nations" - WRITER'S FINAL 3.

HERCULES (CONT'D)
Tassos, flank and Await the signal.
Xena, you and I - Xena... Xena?

SMASH CUT TO

XENA - RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS TO THE CASTLE

A gazelle. Soundless. Lightning-quick.

INTERCUT WITH HERCULES AND HIS MEN, REACTING

As Xena takes uses her momentum to GRAB onto a low-hanging

tree branch, losing no speed as she CLIMBS onto the canopy.

EXT. CASTLE OF DIOMEDES - PERIMETER - CONTINUOUS

A SENTRY does his rounds, clueless, until he looks up to see:

XENA - TUMBLING DOWN FROM A BRANCH

And LANDING to SNAP HIS NECK LIKE A TWIG! Xena turns to face:

EXT. THE STABLES OF DIOMEDES - CONTINUOUS

This is where the rubber meets the road in terms of all the
And spots a SENTRY at the gate. He sees her. Before he can -
tools of screenwriting coming together to create pacing and
movement.
XENAThe shot
DRAWS HERcalls,
CHAKRAMlike "XENA- -ITRUNNING
- WHOOSH! THROUGH
SHUNKS INTO THE WOODS
THE GUARD
TO THE CASTLE" do a great deal of heavy lifting, including
callingXena
out rushes by, TAKING
the intercut IT BACK Hercules
between as she ENTERS
and the
his stable.
men.
ANGLE ON HERCULES AND HIS MEN
The reason I use a shot call to indicate the intercut is that we
have already established IOLAUS
a set up with Hercules and his men. The
She’s in, let’s go.
intercut could have been a slug, but to me that would take away
from the speed I am trying to sell. Slug lines have two spaces
HERCULES
before them as opposed to one her
Hold fast. Let make case
in the her play.
of shot calls, so that
A dread silence settles on these hard men... and sits...

IOLAUS Page 21 of 41
It’s taking her too long.

ON THE STABLES
 HERCULES (CONT'D)
Tassos, flank and Await the signal.
Xena, you and I - Xena... Xena?
SMASH CUT TO

XENA - RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS TO THE CASTLE

creates a sense of pace. If it's slugged it's new, if it's shot-
A gazelle.
called Soundless.
it's taking placeLightning-quick.
intercut with somewhere you have
already seen.
INTERCUT WITH HERCULES AND HIS MEN, REACTING
Another benefit
As Xena of this
takes uses her approach
momentum is that onto
to GRAB it allows me to spell
a low-hanging
thetree branch, losing
progression no speed
of Xena's as she
journey CLIMBS
from onto the to
the clearing canopy.
the tree
canopy to the perimeter to the stables. If I am doing my job
right, the elements serve to support the reader's awareness of
EXT. CASTLE OF DIOMEDES - PERIMETER - CONTINUOUS
the geography without stopping the action.
A SENTRY does his rounds, clueless, until he looks up to see:
One of the most freeing aspects of using shot calls this way is
XENA
that - TUMBLING
they DOWNanFROM
can become A BRANCH
organic part of the narrative even as
they tell you what to look at. Take, for example, the following
And LANDING to SNAP HIS NECK LIKE A TWIG! Xena turns to face:
description:

EXT. THE STABLES OF DIOMEDES - CONTINUOUS

And spots a SENTRY at the gate. He sees her. Before he can -

XENA DRAWS HER CHAKRAM - WHOOSH! - IT SHUNKS INTO THE GUARD

Xena rushes by, TAKING IT BACK as she ENTERS the stable.

ANGLE ON HERCULES AND HIS MEN

IOLAUS
She’s in, let’s go.

HERCULES
Hold fast. Let her make her play.
A dread silence settles on these hard men... and sits...

IOLAUS
It’s taking her too long.

ON THE STABLES
The first four lines are a description of what I hope would play
Silence... until the windows light up orange - a FIRE!
as a fluid streak of motion. The action line after the slug is
basically the start of HERCULES
a single thought - and I even try to
simulate the Zeus’s balls!
abruptness of the sentry's death by beginning that
thought as though the sentry might have a moment but "Before he
can -" I cut it short, hopefully shocking you into further
attention.

The shot call and the following piece of prose are one single
thought intended to give life to Xena's ruthlessness and
physical ability: "Xena draws her Chakram - WHOOSH! - it shunks
into the guard, Xena rushes by, TAKING IT BACK as she ENTERS." I

Page 22 of 41
won't direct it on the page, but in my mind this action could
easily take place in a single fluid take and that's how I want
you to perceive it. Don't worry, the director will have a better
idea when the time comes.

When that piece of action ends, I resort to the more prosaic

shot call "ANGLE ON HERCULES AND HIS MEN." It's less flashyon
purpose: I need you to sense this break in the action to denote
a slight passage of time.

This pattern continues throughout the sequence - simpler shot

calls are there to control pace (the next one is "ON THE
STABLES" - again, boring on purpose to provide a dramatic pause
before you find out what Xena is doing in there). The more
complicated shot calls blend into the action lines, hopefully
creating a cohesive motion across elements, and hopefully giving
you incentive to read every word, perhaps while feeling the
tension and excitement of the scene instead of begrudging me my
writing style.

---

While I don't use transitions in the passages I have offered,

that doesn't mean I don't see them as an important part of the
format and one that can easily vary the visual environment on
the page.

For most writers, transitions seldom go beyond "CUT TO," "TIME

CUT TO" (to denote that time has passed within a scene and
location) and - when they are feeling frisky - "SMASH CUT
TO" (to denote a jarring or otherwise shocking transition).

Other more specific transitions, like "FADE OUT," "FADE TO

BLACK" and "DISSOLVE TO" are there but not necessarily
considered essential arrows in the quiver. I use "DISSOLVE TO"
fairly frequently, but I must confess that when I do, I feel
like I am day drinking with the rest of the fellas at the Warner
Bros. contract writers bullpen.

Not to mention that "CUT TO:" is also known to most

screenwriters as "the first thing that goes when cutting to
reduce page count."

I have never had cause to use some of the other, more antiquated
transitions - like a "WIPE TO" for example. This is how you know
I have never written for Star Wars.

Page 23 of 41
 Xena stumbles just enough to catch her balance - then walks
over to the cane, shaking her head, and picks it up.
Gabrielle smiles. You can walk!

Xena regards the cane, then EXCHANGES IT for the sword.

My ambivalent
Gabrielle attitude
shakes toward
her head andtransitions continued
tries to grip until
the cane I went
like a
to work on the TV series Medium, a horror/family/crime
sword - but Xena shows her how to hold it like a staff.
procedural about a psychic soccer mom. At Medium, the writers
HERODOTUS used
frequently EXCHANGES LOOKS WITH"SHOCK
the transition A DUBIOUS LILAto denote a
CUT TO:"
moment of extreme horror after a placid set up.
HIDING by the water barrel near the anvil, shaking her head.
I found this freeing. It had never occurred to me that I could
DISSOLVE
vary the language of transitions beyond the traditional TO -
forms
and soon began experimenting with alternatives in language more
frequently
EXT. HILLSreserved
NEAR THEfor paragraphs
VILLAGE - DAY or shot calls. For example,
in one place in the Xena script, I use the transition formatting
(right justified,
Xena creeps allhill
up the caps, bold for
slowly, me) to denote
SEARCHING a much
for something...
greater shift
until she thanita -fade
finds between
a white scenes:
flower, growing at the base of a
tree... and as Xena PLUCKS the flower...
(NOTE: the page breaks between the action line describing the
REVEAL LILA
transition and- the
HIDING
slugbehind bushes...
for the watching
following scene) from afar.

EXT. HILLS NEAR THE VILLAGE - DAY

Gabrielle now has a real staff. Xena - standing on her own -
coaches her, using the sword for mock attacks.
As Xena recognizes that Gabrielle is, in fact, improving...
TILT UP TO THE BLUE SKY

Darkening as the camera reaches a starry apogee and then

TILTS DOWN into the red, torch-lit roofs of...
XENA - "Destroyer of Nations" - WRITER'S FINAL 29.

EXT. CITY OF ARGOS - NIGHT

A sprawling hub of art and empire... and, of course, wherever
there is art and empire, there’s also...

INT. ARGOSIAN BROTHEL - NIGHT

This is not the traditional role of the transition, but, in
truth,
MALEthe
AND form is SEX
FEMALE elastic enough
WORKERS to accommodate
in loincloths partyit. This
with is
rough
men
also a from
rare the military
place where Iand cultured
allow myselfmenthefrom the citytoalike.
indulgence tell
the camera what to do.
Eyes shut hard, Iolaus lies on a wooden table as two scantily-
In clad
this WHORES
case, I- have
one male, one visual
a poetic female in
- pour
mind wine into that
and feel his open
it
mouth, and several men from Hercules’ army CHEER HIM ON.
serves story, character, and theme and thus justifies a little
The wine STOPS. The CHEERING stops. Iolaus keeps his mouth
open and his eyes closed, expecting more, then:

IOLAUS Page 24 of 41
I paid good money for the wine and
the flesh! Where’s the rest!?
overreach into the director's territory. This is one of the few
times I saw exactly how I want it and hope the director agrees.

Similarly, later on I have a transition that reads...

DISSOLVE TO XENA'S EYES

As with the above, directors might take this as me

presumptuously telling them their job, but as long as I am in
charge of the experience (which I am until that check gets
written), I get to say what is the best visual for the job and
even dictate it... albeit politely. Again, this is one of a
small number of occasions in which I respectfully tell the
director the exact thing I want and hope for a consensus.

Another untraditional use of the transition - one that I have

come to rely on for surprises and other dramatic turns - is
using the formatting to tell you what new information has just
entered a scene without there being a transition from one
location to another. In many places, you will see that the Xena
script has transitions that read:

WIDER TO REVEAL

Or...

PULL AWAY TO REVEAL GABRIELLE AT

(this one would be followed by either a new slug or a

description of a hitherto unseen location within the scene)

Or even a combination like...

SMASH REVEAL

These unconventional transitions serve a very specific purpose

in that they a. single out some piece of information as
important enough to merit some special visual treatment, and b.
they move the reader's eye all the way to the other side of the
page from either the left or the center, keeping the visual
experience of the page from becoming monotonous and reinforcing
the idea that every part of this material has something to which
you need to pay attention. Everything on the page works on two
or more levels at the same time.

Page 25 of 41
You may notice that I don't put the traditional colon at the end
of my transitions (the by-the-book formatting would look more
like "CUT TO:"). The reason for this is that, as I mentioned
with shot calls and action paragraph prose, I like to be able to
see these elements as potentially all being part of a single
unified thought.

While I am certainly promiscuous in my use of colons and dashes

pretty much everywhere else, what I don't want is for my
transitions to denote any sense of finality unless I absolutely
want that - in which case, I will put a period on the transition
like this:

FADE TO BLACK.

There is no punctuation in my standard use of the transition

because I don't want to stop the fun train - what's on the edge
of the page should drive your eye right back to the other edge
of the page.

I know, this is a quirk and may seem arbitrary, but to me it

makes internal sense and keeps my writing - and hopefully your
reading - in a flow.

---

Another place where I find transitions extremely helpful is in

establish rhythm in a sequence.

One of the set pieces later in the Xena pilot is her training of
her future sidekick Gabrielle in the ways of armed combat. The
passage of time here is denoted in a series of DISSOLVES, the
lengthy blending of the scenes ideally prepares you for a
dramatic change from one condition to the next, and also gives
you the distinct sense that time is slowing down, the narrative
is taking a beat, and this is a time for character development
and not action:

Page 26 of 41
 All right. Who am I fighting?

XENA
You. Always you.
And as Xena trains Gabrielle...

THE FOLLOWING DISSOLVES SHOW THE PASSAGE OF TIME

Xena’s wounds heal - her bandages get smaller and eventually
go away entirely - lacerations scab, scar, and VANISH...
DISSOLVE TO

HERODOTUS’S ANVIL

The hammer BANGING out a sword.

DISSOLVE TO

Xena, hammering with her good arm (the other in a sling) as

Herodotus holds the tongs for her. And off the sword...
SLOWLY TAKING SHAPE...
DISSOLVE TO

EXT. HILLS NEAR THE VILLAGE - CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS

Gabrielle STRIKES the tree with the cane. Xena watches: the
look on her face making it clear that Gabrielle is hopeless.

DISSOLVE TO

XENA’S SWORD - GOING INTO THE HOT WATER

As Xena - now able to handle the tongs - lifts it up to see:

DISSOLVE TO

THE SWORD - NOW IN GABRIELLE’S HAND

As she SHAKES HER HEAD and tries to return it to Xena, at:

Page 27 of 41
Looking back on this page after the fact, I do wonder why I
chose to head the sequence with an all-caps and bold statement
that "THE FOLLOWING DISSOLVES SHOW THE PASSAGE OF TIME,"
followed by a description of what that entails. The gesture
feels obvious based on how I staged it, but I imagine I felt
that there was a rhythm to be lost if I spent time within the
dissolves explaining the process of Xena's healing.

I will leave it to you to decide whether me from several years

ago made the correct judgment call in staging the sequence on
the page this way.

---

Transitions are useful but can also come across as pro-forma.

It's very easy to just put a "CUT TO:" at the end of every scene
as it leads to the next one as if it were the rote requirement
of the format, but that's just the ticket to cutting out all
those "CUT TO:" calls when the script turns out to be too long
and you need to save space.

However, in a different script, one that used lengthy

flashbacks, I came up with the rule that "CUT TO:" would only
occur as a transition to a flashback. The hope there was that
after a few pages of this pattern, the appearance of a
transition has trained the reader to know a flashback is coming,
and to emotionally prepare for a change in time, style, and
story.

As with all the little enhancements, road blocks, and elements I

describe in this essay, the slowdown in the read - or it's
expedition if the elements are doing their job - is not
considerable with any one misstep. It's a second here, a half a
second there. It's important to remember that these fractions of
time add up to a whole, they are each a small cog in a machine
that either works flawlessly or rattles and snores its way to
the final fade to black.

Or cut to black.

Or dissolve to black.

Or cut to end titles.

Or fade to white.

Page 28 of 41
Or dissolve to...

---

If you were to read the complete script for Xena, you would
notice that these stylistic choices are pervasive in my work.
I'm consider myself responsible for both a compelling story, but
also a page that looks attractive to the eye and thus encourages
the reader not to skim, but to enjoy every word.

Just as I don't think there is such a thing as an "actor-proof"

or "director proof," there certainly is no such thing as a
"reader-proof" script. What there is is your own ability to
entice the reader and to carry the reader on the ride - the less
work the reader has to do, the more likely the readers are to
stop thinking that they are reading a script for work and
instead find themselves engrossed in a story that is as
interested in their pleasure as it is in describing the
technical parameters of producing a motion picture.

There are several other quirks in my writing that I want to

share. Though it may seem strange that I would spend all this
time describing the gross anatomy of my writing only to conclude
with a list of pet peeves, I assure you that a writer's style is
every bit a collection of their idiocies as it is a collection
of their passions.

Regardless of whether the items on the list below cause you to

nod in agreement or shake your head in disdain, know that your
good and bad habits as a writer all come together to give the
reader an impression of who you are as a storyteller and how
much you care about their enjoyment of the work.

---

Michael Piller - the writer/showrunner who shepherded Star Trek:

The Next Generation through its best and most influential years
- had an adage: "words are the enemy." As I have been told, he
meant it in apropos of overwritten scenes and dialogue - but I
also (and also presumptuously) extend it to the prose in a
script.

This is what it means to me: the more words you use, the more
words the reader has to process. The more words the reader has
to process, the longer it takes to become involved in the
narrative, and the easier it is to fall out of the narrative.

Page 29 of 41
This potential for disconnection is sown at the most basic level
of how you build your clauses, and could metastasize out there
to weaponize the entire script against your commercial,
artistic, or technical goals.

Brevity, concision, and economy are so important to the work of

a screenwriter that I am willing to break a paragraph, use three
synonymous adjectives, and even use ALL CAPS to get you to pause
and consider this.

As with all that preceded, everything that follows is about one

thing and one thing alone: kill as many of the enemy as
possible.

---

One of my personal bêtes noire is not dissimilar from one most

likely articulated endlessly by your middle-school English
teacher: the passive voice. I don't believe that the passive
voice is useless in all contexts (this essay is riddled with it)
but in screenwriting, the passive voice is downright lethal.

Why? Because, as I have said ad nauseaum, screenwriting is a

description of motion in real time. The difference between "Javi
is saying that you shouldn't be using the passive voice" and
"Javi says don't use the passive voice" is a pretty big one for
me.

The words "is" and "shouldn't be" cause the following cognitive
break in my brain (it's a weird one but try to stick with me): I
already know that I am. You know that I am. My existence is a
given if you are reading this, the existence of the characters
in a script is a given, but the use of the passive voice -
embodied by the word "is" - subconsciously stops that
assumption, even if for a microsecond.

The difference between action and my describing the action of

something being done by one thing to another thing - the
seemingly minuscule difference between "He writes" vs. "He is
writing" - is the gulf between "look at this event" versus
"visualize multiple objects in space and time and consider how
they relate to one another."

Page 30 of 41
The microsecond it takes to process this difference may not seem
like much, but I think of that microsecond as a microdose... of
poison.

One microdose may not be enough to kill you, but the cumulative
effect of one microdose after another after another for the
course is death.

In the same way, a script loaded with one passive voice

description after another might as well be a collection of
speedbumps, each adding to a tedious and exasperating whole.

---

Related to the above is the clause "begins to." This phrase

annoys me beyond all reason and accountability. In a moving
picture, things are either happening or they are not, there is
no "begins to."

In most cases, when you use the word "begins," what you are
really communicating is that you are about to use the wrong
verb:

"Javi begins to drink" is not a description of motion, but a

description of a quasi-motion/intent preceding actual motion.

"Javi drinks" is motion.

"Javi raises the glass to his lips" is an even more descriptive

and interesting motion.

Lifting the glass to my lips and stopping before taking the

drink because someone has said something dramatically relevant
is a specific that easily becomes a picture in the mind. "Begins
to" is another roadblock, a squishy little blob of diffusion on
the way to a verb that doesn't actually say the thing you want
me to picture.

In life, things may begin to happen. I guess. In film, things

either happen or they don't. The judge of it is the inexorable
motion of those twenty-four to thirty frames a second. Use the
most specific verb possible for the action you describe and
don't waste words making the wrong verb do your work.

---

Page 31 of 41
If I have to write more than one sentence denouncing the
majority of instances of the word "suddenly" as an abdication of
your responsibility as a writer, then what was the point of even
living?

---

My final pet peeve, the one that will really make you wonder why
I chose to close with these items instead of really useful
guidance is this...

There is no "we" in my writing.

Every time I see a script in which the writer uses the word "we"
to imply the movement of the camera, the entrance into a
setting, or any other business that involves how the audience
experience... every time I read an opening line like "We travel
over the city, seeing all the lights as we descend into the
streets" I am moved to loudly quote one of the thugs in the
first Dirty Harry movie: "Who is we, sucka?"

To me the relationship between storyteller and audience is one

that relies on performative distance and solid boundaries. You
put your trust in me to tell you a story to the best of my
ability and to make your life better or at least easier if you
are reading me for work.

I may choose to talk to you like a friend, I may choose to

editorialize, I may choose to ignore you altogether - but I know
the difference between you and me: and I need for you to know it
so that you know I know it and know I am treating your time with
respect.

Slogan version? here is no "we" in "script."

Whenever I see the word "we" in a script I feel like I was given
free tickets to the symphony and, upon arrival, was handed a
bassoon and asked if I knew the second chair part of the "1812
Overture." It makes me stop. It makes me quote Dirty Harry, it
makes me come up with metaphors about the symphony.

You know what it doesn't make me do?

Keep reading your goddamn script.

---

Page 32 of 41
Harsh as that sounds, those are the sort of issues I (and every
other person on Earth) have to break through when I sit to read
someone else's script... and there is very little you can do
about it other than writing the best script you can, with the
clearest and most evocative language and style available, and
hoping that you envelop me in the flow of your story without
hitting so many of my personal land mines that I am moved to
give you whatever it is you want from me - be it money, a good
review, a job...

Because the needle is so hard to thread, regardless of who is

reading, I want to share with you two passages from scripts
written by other writers, scripts that have made me forget all
my little rules and pet peeves and go along for the ride.

First, here is a short passage from a script by Lawrence Kasdan,

whom you may recognize as the writer or a couple of small
independent films titled The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the
Jedi, and Raiders of the Lost Ark.

This is from the latter:

Page 33 of 41
 11.

12 EXT. THE JUNGLE - INDY’S RUN - VARIOUS SPOTS - DAY 12

Indy runs like hell through steadily falling terrain. And
always close behind, a swift gang of angry Hovitos.
Occasionally they get close enough to send a dart or spear
whizzing past Indy’s head.

13 EXT. THE URUBAMBA RIVER - DUSK 13

An amphibian plane sits in the water beneath a green cliff.
Sitting on the wing is JOCK, the British pilot. Indy breaks
out of some distant brush and runs along the path at the top
of the cliff.

INDY
(yelling)
Get it going! Get it going!

Jock hops in and fires up the plane’s engines. Indy reaches a

spot on the cliff above the place, glances back, then jumps
into the river. He comes up, swims to the plane and grabs a
strut.

INDY
GO!

Jock starts the plane moving across the water as Indy walks
across the wing and falls into the passenger compartment.

14 OMIT 14

15 OMIT 15

16 INT. JOCK’S PLANE - DUSK 16

Indy relaxes and lies across the seat, a big smile on his
face. One hand drops to the floor of the cabin and Indy
jumps, hitting his head. On the floor of the cabin is a huge
boa constrictor. Indy tries to get his whole body onto the
seat. Jock sees what’s happening.

JOCK
Don’t mind him. That’s Reggie.
Wouldn’t hurt a soul.

INDY
I can’t stand snakes.

Page 34 of 41
By all of the standards I have listed, this man is a very bad
writer, perhaps a very bad person, and this page is an unholy
mess.

The first paragraph of the scene, slugged as #12, takes

approximately 90 seconds of screen time. That's the first three
sentences on this page. Additionally, while the first paragraph
loosely sketches out the action, the 90 seconds of screen time
it encompasses have a great deal more business in the final
product - including the pilot of the airplane struggling with
catching a fish and then discarding the catch and his fishing
rod when the peril becomes impossible to ignore... none of that
information is present here.

In both paragraphs, Kasdan also asks the reader to track

multiple objects simultaneously, making the entire thing feel
very abbreviated and making the stakes anything but visceral.
There's no "bits" in Kasdanland, just chunky paragraphs covering
multiple characters, actions, and vantage points. I would have,
of course, chosen to shot-call every poison dart and spear to
put the reader in the protagonist's head.

In the second paragraph, of all the details Kasdan chooses to

highlight - in the middle of the very first action sequence of
the film - he chooses the nationality of a pilot who is in no
way a character in any other part of the film. I mean, come on:

"An amphibian plane sits in the water beneath a green cliff. Sitting on
the wing is JOCK, the British pilot. Indy breaks out of some distant
brush and runs along the path at the top of the cliff."

Later, the joke of Indiana Jones finding a snake on his seat - a

fun character moment that pays off later in the film, to be sure
- is given more prominence on the page than any of the action
that comes before.

This is strange, because while that grace note is a funny one,

much of the nonverbal storytelling of the sequence as finally
presented on film - including Indy's botched attempt to swing
onto the plane Tarzan-style on a vine - give a huge window into
his character and how he usually comes on top even though he has
the hardest luck against the world.

And blah-blah-blah. Bottom line? Raiders of the Lost Ark is one

of three scripts I consider the only perfect ones of the 1980s

Page 35 of 41
(the other two are Back to the Future and Die Hard) - a script
in which the characters sparkle, the action is thrilling, every
detail planted early pays off later, and the plotting is
deliciously, forget-your-troubles-come-on-get-happy tight.

Lawrence Kasdan's scripts have been the basis for several of the
best moviegoing experiences I - and many others of my generation
ever had - and they does very little of what I would do to make
a script "successful."

---

The next example I am just going to leave here without

introduction. This is from the middle of an action sequence
during a football game featuring a player named "Cole." he field
was slugged in the previous page:

Page 36 of 41
 4.

CONTINUED:

The ball floats through the snowy air. Pitch-out to

Cole.
He takes it on the run. Tucks it under his arm.
Behind him, the quarterback bites the dust, leveled.

Cole turns the corner. Picks up a blocker.

Feet pounding. Arms pumping.

Up ahead, the free safety barrels toward him. Low and

hard.

Cole does not blink. He reaches beneath his jersey.

Pulls out a GUN.
Pumps THREE SHOTS into the free safety's head.

The bullets go straight through. On the back of his

helmet.
A mixture of blood and fiberglass.

Cole keeps going, jogging for the end zone.

Around him, sound. Fury. Impact. Confusion.

Another defensive back. Straight ahead.

Reacts with almost comical terror. Dives to one side.
Cole FIRES. Blows out the guy's knee. Ends a career.
Keeps going.

We are now in full-scale panic.

The players are fleeing the field. Shouts. Pandemonium.
A few brave men gather around the fallen players.

POLICE

are on the field now. Running full out. They've got

riot guns, cocked and locked. Sprinting through the
snow.

Cole crosses the goal line. Touchdown.

Drops the ball.

Turns, facing the cops. His eyes are insane.

The crowd is screaming. People are running back and
forth like extras in the Keystone Cops.

The first TWO BLASTS from the cops' RIOT GUNS go high and
wide. One SHOT BLOWS APART the base of the goalpost.

The forty-foot-high monument pitches over, collapsing

like a wounded giant. Lands in a shower of snow and ice.

Cole is oblivious to the bars crashing around him. He

smiles and says:
(CONTINUED)

Page 37 of 41
I mean, if the last script I showed you was an unholy mess, this
one is a tsunami of authorial malfeasance.

Paragraphs break in all sorts of weird an inconsistent ways, the

passive voice is endemic, the author's voice is all over the
place, and the lack of a cohesive geography beyond knowing that
this takes place in a football stadium should be confusing
beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Nothing here should work.

Except it does, all over the damn place. In this case, the weird
rhythm of the paragraph breaks and sentence structures, be it
paragraphs holding information taking place in multiple venues
without slugs or shot calls, the inconsistent use of "we" as a
point of view, and the scattershot use of shot calls - there's
only one and it's the word "POLICE" - all works to not just
create a strangely formatted yet compelling page, it also
completely mirrors the hyperkinetic experience one has watching
the final movie.

This is a page of seeming chaos, but the way the writer

organizes that chaos not only communicates the chaos, it also
embodies it in a physical way that makes me as a reader see it
down to the cutting pattern. All without telling the director
where to put the camera, the editors how to cut, or the audience
how to feel.

---

The previous page came from The Last Boy Scout, by Shane Black.

In its time - 1990 - The Last Boy Scout commanded the highest
purchase price ever paid for a spec script: $1.75 million
(thirty-two years later, this is still a fee any screenwriter
would envy). While the film described by this script may not
have turned out to be the best execution of one of Black's
scripts (that honor goes to Lethal Weapon, the ur-text of the
modern buddy/cop movie) the script remains one of the best reads
in screenwriting history.

Shane Black's scripts are crucial for writers to consider for

several reasons - not the least of which are the financial boons
they have earned for their writer. Pretty much every modern
writer dines at Shane Black's table whether they know it or not.
Black writes nothing like I do, but I consider myself a product

Page 38 of 41
of his generation: he was the one who broke the form open for
many of us.

Bringing techniques usually reserved for beat poetry, ultra-

tawdry pulp fiction, collage art, gonzo journalism and music
video to turn a script into not just the foundation for a movie
but a snap-cracklin' read on its own right may just be Black's
greatest contribution to our craft.

Regardless of whether we like or dislike his choice of subject

matter, the violent themes, style of dialogue, or the
disposition of his characters, Shane Black's scripts triumph on
many levels, not the least of which is that of the successful
loan application. If, ultimately, a viewing of the film made of
The Last Boy Scout doesn't equal the thrill of reading Black's
writing, that blame certainly can't be laid on the writer.

Black understood the assignment and, in doing so, broke open the
form for the rest of us to play.

---

One of my college writing professors was a novelist named Ted

Weesner. When I asked what he considered "good writing" Weesner
gave me an answer that has remained etched into my very soul:

"Good writing is whatever you can get away with."

And that is the ultimate blessing and vexation of what we do.

Craft can be taught, rules can be established, and conventions

can be understood, but ultimately - even if what is on the page
doesn't fit within those rules or conventions, or deliberately
shatters them - the result of a great read is a great read is a
great read. Sadly, artistic triumph, even one that is undeniable
is impossible to quantify and teach. All we writers can do is
hope to understand it so that we can take a leap into the
unknown with our own material.

Achieving the goal of "an undeniable artistic triumph" in the

case of the screenwriter also leads to the writing of checks,
the attachment of a director, the hiring of hundreds of artists
and artisans, and a large corporation's commitment to use all of
its resources to disseminate that writer's vision globally.

But there are other forms of triumph.

Page 39 of 41
Consider the script for Xena. While that particular reboot will
never see the light of day, the script is one I still enjoy
reading for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that it
is a marker of who I was at that particular time. I like
revisiting that person, and analyzing what he was good at on the
page, what he was bad at, and how much he has changed... or not.

Xena is also, at least currently, the sample most commonly sent

by my agents and managers to prospective employers. By this
metric, Xena is a huge success. The Xena script is the reason I
have gotten my last six jobs, writing and producing shows like
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, Blood and Treasure, From,
Raising Dion, Cowboy Bebop, and The Witcher.

In that list there's one Emmy Award winning show and the better
part of a decade of employment (and countless medical bills, and
school tuitions, and mortgages, and bags of groceries paid for)
- all of it the result of a single piece of material delivering
the goods; a piece of material I chose to write in a style that
I felt would make it a worthy read even without a frame of video
ever being exposed in its name.

Also, in my darkest hours... In my most private moments... in

the middle of endless nights of pitch-black despair, I call up
the manuscript and - as I luxuriate in a warm blanket of my own
proficiency - occasionally declaim "MISTER SARANDOS... I'M READY
FOR MY GREEN LIGHT."

---

As I have mentioned previously, none of us writes the same way,

none of us writes about the same things, and none of us knows
what will truly connect with the audience until we have tried
and either succeeded or failed. While the elements of
screenwriting - slugs, shot calls, transitions, the formatting
of dialogue, etc. - are there for technical reasons and have to
be used at least vestigially in order to fulfill the
requirements of the form, everything else is up for grabs.

We learn these rules in the same way that actors learn lines: so
we can "forget" them and make the best choices for our own
stories based on experience and instinct. With all of my rules,
edicts, and peeves, I do not, for a second, believe that I am as
good a writer as the majority of my peers. I certainly don't

Page 40 of 41
consider writers like Shane Black and Lawrence Kasdan as "peers"
but rather as teachers, prophets, and demigods.

As a writer, I have merely found the box in which my thematic

concerns fit best, and I use those constraints to free myself to
express my truth. Whether I have helped you, or hindered you,
made you laugh, in my rationalizations, I do not need you to
follow any of my ways. Having laid it all bare to you, my final
message is the same with which I began: know the tools, find
your voice, take what works, chuck what doesn't, and then let
your own artistic instincts guide you to the promised land.

---

Page 41 of 41
 XENA
"Destroyer of Nations"

Pilot Episode

Written by
Javier Grillo-Marxuach

Based on Xena: Warrior Princess

Created by John Schulian and Robert Tapert

WRITER'S FINAL
TEASER

A TORCH BREAKS THE DARKNESS... THEN ANOTHER... AND ANOTHER...

As six SOLDIERS in black resolve through the inky gloom of:

EXT. THRACIAN COUNTRYSIDE - NIGHT

The soldiers STOP. Into torchlight STRIDES THEIR LEADER.

You know his name. Synonymous with strength and virility. His
appearance - from the cunning, brutally handsome eyes to the
muscular shoulders (armored with the indestructible pelt of
the Nemean lion) and powerful hands grasping a knotted club
only a demigod could wield - bears out the legend.

This is HERCULES. He looks past the trees to see...

EXT. CASTLE OF DIOMEDES - CONTINUOUS

Looming in darkness: a creepy and imposing tower and stables

overgrown with ancient trees, guarded by ARMORED SENTRIES.

RESUME ON HERCULES

As his nephew, IOLAUS, scampers to him. He’s a scamperer.

IOLAUS
Any sign of the giant?

HERCULES
Giant’s asleep.

IOLAUS
They say he’s trained his beasts to
eat the flesh of men.

HERCULES
Calm down. They’re just mares.

IOLAUS
If they’re “just” that, why would
the King send us... I mean, you, to
steal them?

HERCULES
If this is how our liege wants to
taunt his enemies, then we will be
his hand.
(a smile)
Long as his gold lasts.
XENA - "Destroyer of Nations" - WRITER'S FINAL 2.

IOLAUS
These labors - they only get harder
and... this one’s bad, uncle
Hercules. I can feel it. They say
the Giant can crush a man’s skull
with his -

Hercules shoots him a silencing glare then motions a huddle:

HERCULES
Split into three teams, attack
simultaneously, take out the
sentries, then steal the mares.

IOLAUS
And if our strife awakens the giant
before we can get to the stables?

HERCULES
Then I crush the giant.

A commanding FEMALE VOICE sounds out from behind Iolaus:

FEMALE VOICE
Why not just sneak in and take the
horses?

HERCULES TURNS TO SEE XENA - ENTERING INTO TORCHLIGHT

EPIC in black armor. Face slashed with war paint. She’s every
bit as imposing as the men, every bit as capable, and
significantly smarter and more ambitious.

HERCULES
Xena. This is not smash-and-grab.
The mares of Diomedes are feral -

IOLAUS XENA
They eat the flesh of - (cutting him off)
I’ve heard the myths. But
with your plan, if the guards
put up a fight, we’ll awaken
the entire compound before
the prize is in our hands.

Hercules shoots Xena a shut-down glare. She understands, and

stops talking, backing away as Hercules waves in the huddle:

HERCULES
Iolaus, Pentacles, Cortus: lie in
wait. Signal when the guard
changes.
(MORE)
XENA - "Destroyer of Nations" - WRITER'S FINAL 3.

HERCULES (CONT'D)
Tassos, flank and Await the signal.
Xena, you and I - Xena... Xena?

SMASH CUT TO

XENA - RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS TO THE CASTLE

A gazelle. Soundless. Lightning-quick.

INTERCUT WITH HERCULES AND HIS MEN, REACTING

As Xena takes uses her momentum to GRAB onto a low-hanging

tree branch, losing no speed as she CLIMBS onto the canopy.

EXT. CASTLE OF DIOMEDES - PERIMETER - CONTINUOUS

A SENTRY does his rounds, clueless, until he looks up to see:

XENA - TUMBLING DOWN FROM A BRANCH

And LANDING to SNAP HIS NECK LIKE A TWIG! Xena turns to face:

EXT. THE STABLES OF DIOMEDES - CONTINUOUS

And spots a SENTRY at the gate. He sees her. Before he can -

XENA DRAWS HER CHAKRAM - WHOOSH! - IT SHUNKS INTO THE GUARD

Xena rushes by, TAKING IT BACK as she ENTERS the stable.

ANGLE ON HERCULES AND HIS MEN

IOLAUS
She’s in, let’s go.

HERCULES
Hold fast. Let her make her play.

A dread silence settles on these hard men... and sits...

IOLAUS
It’s taking her too long.

ON THE STABLES

Silence... until the windows light up orange - a FIRE!

HERCULES
Zeus’s balls!
XENA - "Destroyer of Nations" - WRITER'S FINAL 4.

THE GATES TO THE STABLE BURST OPEN

KICKED OUT by the front legs of a large and fearsome,

SCREAMING war horse, covered in silver armor... and on top?

XENA, ETCHED IN SMOKE AND FIRE

GRASPING the reins in one hand while PULLING another three

BELLOWING ARMORED BEASTS on a single line behind her - all
the while emitting her signature XENA WAR CRY!

HERCULES AND HIS MEN STARE IN SHOCK AND AWE

HERCULES
Go! Now! Go!

RESUME ON XENA

Riding the mares across the compound as a half-dozen

surprised GUARDS storm out of the castle.

JUST AS HERCULES AND HIS MEN BREACH THE PERIMETER

And the battle is joined. Swords SWING. Lances FLY. Blood

SPATTTERS: red mist in the billowing smoke from the stables.

With a SWING of his mighty club, Hercules sends a guard

FLYING - clearing his path to lock eyes with:

XENA - WHO SHOOTS HIM A TRIUMPHANT LOOK

And tosses over the bundle of lines holding the SCREAMING war
horses with all the attitude of a rapper’s mic drop.

HERCULES
Iolaus! Take our prize! Go!

A CASTLE DOOR ERUPTS OPEN TO REVEAL DIOMEDES - THE GIANT

Seven feet tall - the missing half of his face replaced by a

silver mask - wielding a BATTLE AXE!

DIOMEDES
HERCULES! FACE ME, THIEVING SCUM!

Hercules turns as his men continue the fight around him, and
takes up the challenge - lifting his club -

AS XENA DISMOUNTS

And PUNCHES an enemy guard in the face, sending him DOWN.

XENA - "Destroyer of Nations" - WRITER'S FINAL 5.

HERCULES AND DIOMEDES TRADE BLOWS

Titans UNLEASHING HELL on one another as:

HERCULES' MEN FINISH OFF THE GUARDS

And take the mares, RUSHING OUT of the compound.

XENA HANDS HER MARE’S REINS TO IOLAUS

The mighty beast REARS with an awful ROAR that distracts -

HERCULES

Giving Diomedes just enough of an opening to PUMMEL HIM IN

THE RIBS with his Axe handle, sending him down. As Diomedes
lifts his axe for the kill...

XENA DRAWS HER CHAKRAM

And fires it like a guided missile -

BURYING IT RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE GIANT!

Diomedes CRASHES DOWN, heaving a hellish DEATH THROE...

AS XENA’S HAND ENTERS TO HELP HERCULES TO HIS FEET

Hercules takes it and stands - grateful, disbelieving, and

also looking around to make certain no one saw this.

HERCULES
Saved my life.

XENA
Yet again.

And off Xena’s victorious, and knowing smile...

SMASH CUT TO MAIN TITLE

XENA

RESUME ON A FLAG WITH THE IMAGE OF HERCULES WRESTLING A LION

WAVING in the breeze as GLOWING ASHES waft from a bonfire at:

EXT. THRACIAN COUNTRYSIDE - HERCULES’ CAMP - NIGHT

A boar ROASTS in the flames, devoured by Hercules' SOLDIERS

(who number a dozen and change, with squires and slaves).