Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

Emma M. Surbrook

Department of Communication, University of Georgia

COMM1500: Interpersonal Communication

Class Section CRN: 27559

Dr. Christin E. Huggins

February 11, 2022

Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

Introduction

The criteria involved in interpersonal communication competence are extremely important in

maintaining healthy relationships and interacting with others. Through the short evaluation

offered in class, I was able to examine the different pieces that are part of interpersonal

communication competence. Consequently, I determined both my strengths and weaknesses in

relation to each area. Throughout this essay, I will supply my scores and examine each level of

communication competence and provide evidence for the score that I received. I will describe

my strengths and also provide the ways in which I can improve in the areas that I am weaker in.

Overall, I will be examining effectiveness, appropriateness, adaptability, and empathy in order to

illustrate my comprehensive interpersonal communication competency.

Data Table 1: Scores Received from Interpersonal Communication Competency Quiz

Adaptability Conversational Conversation Empathy Effectiveness Appropriateness

Involvement Management

Emma Surbrook 13/15 12/15 10/15 12/15 9/15 13/15

Effectiveness

Effectiveness is the ability to properly achieve your goals in an interaction (COMM 1500

Workbook, Spring 2022). As presented in Data Table 1, I scored a 9/15 in effectiveness, which

demonstrates a lower competency in this particular area. I often observe my inadequacy in

particular conversations in which I am afraid to speak my mind for fear of being disliked. For

example, during my first semester here at UGA, I met a girl named Shriya. We quickly became

friends; however, as time went on, I quickly became aware of the fact that she would not respect
Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

many of my personal boundaries especially when I was in my dorm. One night, while we were

together in my room, she said to me, “I’m going to look through your stuff.” This immediately

made me very uncomfortable, but because I hadn’t known her for very long and was afraid that

she wouldn’t like me, I simply responded and said “Sure, ok.” Despite my desire that she not

look through my private things, I allowed her to do so anyway. I was not effective in my ability

to achieve my objective for this conversation because I was afraid that I would be disliked.

Another example of my weakness in effectiveness was when I was speaking with a couple of

friends about politics. One of them said “I don’t really like to get involved with politics and I

don’t like when other people talk about them all the time.” Though I disagreed with her, as I am

someone that enjoys discussing politics and believe that it's important to be involved in politics, I

simply responded by saying “Yeah I get that. It can definitely be annoying.” I did not achieve the

goals that I had for that situation because I was afraid of seeming pushy, so I did not truly

express how I felt. The fear of what she thought of me kept me from being an effective

communicator.

Appropriateness

Appropriateness is defined as the ability to match one’s behavior to the various situations and

expectations (COMM 1500 Workbook, Spring 2022). As illustrated in Data Table 1, I scored a

13/15 in appropriateness, meaning that I am relatively stronger in this area. I gave myself scores

of 4, 5, and 4 respectively on questions 16 through 17, which demonstrate my proficiency in this

area. I am aware of certain expectations that are set for me in various situations, and I understand

how to adjust my behavior in order to match such expectations. For example, my sister had gone

through a breakup that had greatly hurt her. She came into my room crying and said, “Emma, he

broke up with me!” I was sitting on my bed watching tv, but when I saw her tears and heard
Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

what she said, I immediately softened my voice and replied “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry. Come

here, let's talk about it.” I recognized that my sister was deeply upset and needed someone to talk

to, so I adjusted my behavior to match the expectations of the situation. Additionally, a few

weeks ago, I was upset about a certain event that had happened to me during the day. I was in a

very unpleasant mood, and I didn’t feel like talking to anyone; however, my sister called me in

order to inform me of good news. She exclaimed excitedly over the phone, “Guess what? I got

the job!” Though I was in a bad mood, I immediately adjusted my behavior to fit the

appropriateness of the situation. I responded by saying eagerly, “Yay! Congratulations! That's so

exciting! I knew you’d get it!” I recognized the excitement in her voice and understood that this

meant a lot to her, so I quickly dispelled my anger and provided the appropriate response to

match the situation.

Adaptability

Adaptability is the ability to adapt one’s behavior to a situation based on their relationship

with the person or what they hope to achieve from the interaction (COMM 1500 Workbook,

Spring 2022). Demonstrated in Data Table 1, I scored a 13/15, which illustrates that this was my

strongest area. I scored 5,4, and 4 on questions 1-3, demonstrating my high proficiency in this

level of criteria. For example, when I am at work, I recognize that there are certain ways that I

can act around my coworkers and my sister, who was working with me at the time, that might be

different from the way I would act around customers. A few months ago, I was working in the

takeout area of Outback Steakhouse and my sister asked me, “Did you look at the tweet I just

sent you?” I looked at it and began laughing and joking with her. “That is so dumb” I responded.

However, at that moment a customer entered the takeout room, in which I promptly put my

phone away and asked, “Hi, how can I help you today?” The customer responded and said, “I’d
Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

like to place an order for takeout.” I replied, “Of course, I can help you right over here. Do you

need a menu?” I recognized that I needed to adapt my behavior in order to best serve that

conversation. I also interviewed my mom and asked her about this area of interpersonal

communication competence. She said, “I think you’re very good at understanding time and place

and that you act one way around your friends and another around your parents” (D. Surbrook,

personal communication, February 8, 2022). I responded and said “Yeah, I always make an

effort to recognize that I should adapt my behavior based on who I’m around and that I should

talk differently to my friends than how I would with my parents.” I understand that in order to

achieve my goals for my interactions, I must adapt my behavior to fit the conversation.

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to demonstrate that one understands another’s emotions by sharing in

their emotional response (COMM 1500 Workbook, Spring 2022). As demonstrated in Data

Table 1, I scored a 11/15 in Empathy, which illustrates that this area is one of my weaknesses. I

scored a 3, 4, and 3 on questions 10-12, emphasizing my lower score in this piece of criteria.

During my interview with my mother, she said “You’re more empathetic when you can relate to

the person” (D. Surbrook, personal communication, February 8th, 2022). I responded by asking

“How so?” She replied and said, “Sometimes you struggle with having empathy for your brother

Sam because you can’t relate to his issues. It’s definitely something you need to work on” (D.

Surbrook, personal communication, February 8th, 2022). It can be difficult for me to have

empathy for people in situations that I have never truly been in myself. For example, a friend of

mine was talking about a relationship that she was in and said to me “It’s been hard because I

want to break up with him but at the same time I don’t, you know what I mean?” I responded

back saying, “Yeah sure, I get that.” Though I provided an appropriate enough response, I
Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

struggled to truly understand how she felt and provide her with a more sincere response. I have

never been in a relationship myself, so I had trouble with truly understanding her emotional

response, and consequently gave her a rather lackluster answer that didn’t properly emphasize

that I understood how she felt.

Knowledge, Motivation, and Skill

As presented in the ICC quiz, I scored a 25/30 in motivation, a 24/30, and a 17/30. As shown

by these scores, I was weakest in the area of skill. Though I am relatively strong in motivation

and knowledge, I often struggle with how to act in certain situations. When speaking with my

mom during the interview I said, “I think that shyness affects my behavior, as well as what other

people think of me, so I am uncertain of how to act at times, because I want to be liked.” My

mom responded by saying “I definitely agree, especially in situations with friends who cross

boundaries. You’re scared to tell them that they’ve crossed a line and disrespected you. You

have to learn to advocate for yourself” (D. Surbrook, personal communication, February 8th,

2022). Because of my fear of being disliked, I often have trouble knowing how to properly

communicate my thoughts in various relationships. For example, a friend of mine was

overstepping my boundaries by entering my room without knocking. I told myself that the next

time that she did it, I would speak calmly and firmly to her about how it was rude to enter my

room without knocking. Later that evening, she walked into the room and said, “Hey guys how

are y’all doing?” Instead of telling her how I felt about her entering the room unannounced, I

simply responded saying, “Hey girl, I’m doing ok. How have you been?” I lacked skill in this

interaction because I was unable to tell my friend how I really felt about her walking right into

my dorm. The fear of being disliked overcame my desire to properly advocate for myself. As I

attempt to grow in this area, I hope to try to speak out more when I feel uncomfortable in certain
Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

situations. Though it can be scary to speak up, it’s important that I develop proper skills in

standing up for myself. Choosing to speak up for myself is essential in building healthier

relationships.

Conclusion

I have found that overall, I have many strengths in interpersonal communication. I believe that

I am a strong communicator and I consistently work to improve areas of communication that I

struggle in. Much of my strength lies in my ability to listen to others, as well as my strong self-

awareness, which allows me to determine how to adapt my behavior to particular situations and

provide the appropriate response. However, I allow my own insecurities to get in the way of my

effectiveness as I am afraid of being disliked. I also struggle with empathy when I do not relate

to an individual’s personal struggles, and thus cannot provide proper responses to their emotional

reaction. I must improve my empathy by working to understand one’s situation regardless of

whether I myself have experienced it. I found that I was strong in motivation and knowledge

which directly relate to my adaptability and appropriateness, as I am motivated to act

appropriately in various situations and am knowledgeable in how to adapt my behavior to match

the situation. Finally, my lack of skill shows a relationship with my struggles in effectiveness as

it is difficult for me to understand how to communicate effectively in situations where I am

conscious of what others think of me.

Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

References

COMM1500 workbook: Introduction to interpersonal communication (2021). XanEdu.

McCornack, S., & Morrison, K. (2021). Reflect and relate: An introduction to interpersonal

fdfdf communication (5th ed.) Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Analyzing Yourself: The Power of Communication

Interview Contact Information

Name: Debra Surbrook

Relationship: Mother

Email: [email protected]