UNIT-3

Understanding Harmony in the Family & Society –Harmony in Human- Human

Relationship

Very Short Questions:

Q.1 Explain the feeling of ‘respect’.

Respect means individuality. The sense of individuality is prime object. This is the first basic step
towards respect (samman). Once we realized that we are individual then only we can see our self
different from others. In other words, respect means right evaluation, to be evaluated as I am.

Q.2 List down the names of nine feelings in human relationship.

Relationship is between the self (I) and the other self (I). There are nine feelings (values), or
expectation of feelings (values), in relationship: of oneself (I) for the other self (I). These feelings
(values) can be recognized: they are definite (9 Feelings), their fulfilment and evaluation leads to
mutual happiness.
Trust Respect Affection
Care Guidance Reverence
Glory Gratitude Love

Q.3 What do you understand by Physical Facility?

If our living is only for physical facility, then we are living with animal consciousness, because

animals live only for physical facility and are fulfilled by that, not human beings.

Q.4 What do you mean by Natural Acceptance?

Natural acceptance implies unconditional & total acceptance of the self, people and environment.

This concept of natural acceptance is termed as ‘Sahaj – Sukriti’.

Q.4 Define prosperity.

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Prosperity is a feeling of having more than required Physical facilities; it is not just physical

facilities.

Q.5 Define happiness?

Happiness means to be in a state of harmony. “A state or situation in which I live, if there is

harmony in it then I like to be in that state / situation. The state of liking is happiness.

Q.6 Differentiate between intention and competence?

Intention is what a person aspires for i.e. natural acceptance and competence is the ability to fulfil

those aspirations. Every human being has the intention of doing ‘what is right’, only competence

may be lacking which needs to be developed through proper understanding and practice.

However, in the present scenario, we are judging ourselves on the basis of our intentions but when

it comes to judging the other person, we do it on the basis of his/her competence.

Q.7 Enlist the objectives of the program to attain comprehensive human goals.

There are five dimensions of human endeavour. These are required for the fulfilment of

comprehensive human goals.

1. Education – Right Living (Siksha – Sanskar)

2. Health – Self Regulation (Svasthya – Sanyam)

3. Justice – Preservation (Nyaya – Suraksha)

4. Production – Work (Utpadan – Kriya)

5. Exchange – Storage (Vinimaya – Kosh)

Short Answer Type Questions

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Q1. Define ‘affection’.

or

How does affection lead to harmony in the family?

Affection is the feeling of being related to the other. Affection comes when I recognize that we
both want to make each other happy and both of us are similar. Then for the first time, I feel that
I am related to the other, that the other is a relative of mine. This feeling is called affection. The
feeling of affection comes only if trust and respect are already ensured. Without trust and respect,
we feel the other is trying to make us unhappy, does not wish well for us and hence we can never
feel affection for him/her. We always see the other as being in opposition.

Q 2. Explain the feeling of ‘care’.

The feeling of care is the feeling to nurture and protect the body of our relatives. Or in other words
a state of mind in which one is troubled; worry, anxiety, or concern is called care. Care is the
level of active concern, or lack of negligence, towards avoidance of possible dangers, mistakes,
pitfalls, and risks, demanded of a party as a duty or legal obligation. We understand a human
being as a coexistence of the self (‘I’) and the body, and the body is an instrument of ‘I’. Based
on this understanding, we take the responsibility of nurturing and protecting the body of our
relatives.

Q 3. Explain the feeling of ‘guidance’.

The feeling of ensuring right understanding and feelings in the other (my relative) is called
guidance. We understand the need of self (‘I’) for right understanding and feelings. We also
understand that the other is similar to me in his/her faculty of natural acceptance, desire of wanting
continuous happiness and the program of living in harmony at all the four levels. The other is also
similar to me in the potential of desire, thoughts and expectation.

Q 4. Explain the feeling of ‘reverence’.

The feeling of acceptance of excellence in the other is called reverence. We understand that we
aspire for continuous happiness and to realize it, we have to understand harmony at all the levels
of our living, and live accordingly. When we see that the other has achieved this excellence-
which means to understand and to live in harmony at all the levels of living ensuring continuity
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of happiness, we have a feeling of reverence for him/her. This feeling of accepting excellence in
the other is called reverence.

Q 5. What do you mean by ‘glory’?

Glory is the feeling for someone who has made efforts for excellence. We find that there have
been people in history, or even around us, who are investing their time, energy and their
belongings to achieve excellence (to understand and to live in harmony at all levels of living
ensuring continuity of happiness), to make others excellent. This gives us a feeling of glory for
them.

Q 6. Explain the feeling of ‘gratitude’.

Gratitude is the feeling of acceptance for those who have made efforts for my excellence.
Gratitude is an emotion that occurs after people receive help, depending on how they interpret
the situation. Specifically, gratitude is experienced if people perceive the help they receive as (a)
valuable to them, (b) costly to their benefactor, and (c) given by the benefactor with benevolent
intentions.

Q 7. How is the value in a relationship fulfilled?

Justice is the recognition of values (the definite feelings) in relationship, their fulfilment, the right
evaluation of the fulfilment resulting in mutual happiness. Once we have recognized the existence
of human relationship, we are subsequently able to identify the feelings (values). When we work
and behave according to these feelings, it leads to fulfilment of both sides in the relationship i.e.
it leads to mutual fulfilment.

Thus there are four elements of ensuring values in relationship: recognition of values, fulfilment,
evaluation and mutual happiness ensured. When all the four are ensured justice is ensured.

Q 8. What can be the basis of undivided society- the world family?

The feelings of being related to every human being leads to our participation in an undivided
society. By living in relationship in the family, we get the occasion to gain the assurance that the
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other person is an aid to me and not a hindrance. The family is a laboratory of sorts, in which we
live our understanding and relationship. With the understanding of values in human relationship,
we are able to recognize the connectedness with every individual correctly and fulfil it. On getting
assured, it becomes easy to see that society is an extension of family and that it is possible to live
in harmony with every human being- thus laying the foundation for an undivided society- from
family to world family.

Q 9. Define trust. How is ‘trust’ the foundation value of relationships?

or

What do you understand by ‘trust’? What is its importance in human relationship?

Trust or vishwas is the foundational value in relationship. “To be assured that each human being
inherently wants oneself and the other to be happy and prosperous” is known as trust. Having
faith in others and believing them. Trust is the expectation of people that they can rely on our
word. It is built through integrity and consistency in relationships. To keep the trust on ourself
and others, we have to pay attention on the intensions and to understand if we or the other person
is not able to do benefit, it is because we are lacking competence. Trust is the result of right
understanding of the intention of all the human beings around us. This trust helps to improve our
competence in others and in ourselves.

Q 10. Difference between respect and differentiation.

Or

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What is the difference between respect and disrespect? Which of the two is naturally
acceptable to you?
Difference between respect and differentiation

Respect Differentiation

1. Respect is right evaluation. 1. Differentiation is lack of understanding of respect.

2. Respect for others is generated by the 2. This differentiation can take the form of:
right evaluation and understanding which
leads to fulfillment in relationships. This Gender bias
further creates a sense of respect among Generation gap
people
Caste struggle

Power play and domination

Communal violence

Clash of race, religion, etc.

class struggle,

3. This leads to the escalation in the problems of

society which further lowers the respect shown to
others in society.

LONG QUESTIONS:

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Q.1 In our behaviour, we generally observe our intention and others’ lack of competence.
Does it lead to mutual happiness? What is the alternative? Explain with the help of an
example.

We trust our own intention while we are not ready to trust the other’s intention. It is the same for
the others as well. They would also have the same answers as we, to the table above. While the
other trusts his/her own intentions, he/she does not trust mine. Hence, mistrust is born and we
deny the relationship. When we are judging our self we are judging on the basis of our intention,
whereas, when we are judging the other we are judging him on the basis of his competence. We
are sure in point 2 a) that we want to make the other happy, but in point 4 a) we are not sure that
the other wants to make us happy. We find that while we look at our intention, we are sure of it,
we are not sure of the other’s intention. We are actually seeing their competence, and making a
conclusion on their intention, we say “I wanted to do well, but I could not”. But for the other, we
say “He did not want to do well”. “Wanting to”, is the intention, “could not”, is the lack of
competence.

We can see that as we are not able to fulfill our intentions in terms of our competence at all times.
It is the same for the other as well. We want to be related to the other, and we want the other to
be related to us, irrespective of who this other is. If we have trust in the other, we are able to see
the other as a relative and not as an adversary. We then become ready to become a help to the
other. Intentions are always correct; it is only the competence that is lacking, which can be
improved by right understanding.

Q.2 There is a common saying; if you trust everybody, people will take undue advantage of
you. What is the basic error in this statement? Explain.

The basic error is that if we trust everybody people will not take undue advantage of me. On the
contrary, it gives us inner strength and we become far more effective in interacting with and
“dealing with different people”. This is simply because, we already are sitting with the knowledge
of what the person truly wants, truly intends, even though the person may not know this
himself/herself! Hence, our ability to interact with people becomes far more effective and in the
process, we don’t get hurt, we don’t get disturbed, we end up becoming an aid to the other. In
other words, becoming aware, having the right understanding, living with the assurance in
relationship does not mean becoming “stupid”! It only makes us, more competent. Further, what
is being said here is that we have trust on the intention of everyone, but, when it comes to making
a program with someone, I evaluate my competence, I evaluate his competence and make the
program accordingly. This makes me more effective.
to fearlessness (trust) in society.

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Q.3 Explain the comprehensive human goal. How does fearlessness follow from right
understanding and prosperity?

or

What do you mean by comprehensive human goal? Explain. How is it related to your goal
in life?

In order to facilitate the fulfillment of the basic aspirations of all human beings in the society, the
following human goal needs to be understood in a comprehensive manner:

1. When one does not have the right understanding, one remains disturbed and also acts in a
manner so as to create disharmony with other human being as well as with rest of nature.

2. Prosperity in the family means that the family is able to identify its needs and is able to produce/
achieve more than its requirements.

3. Trust in society means every member of society feels related to everyone else and therefore
there is trust and fearlessness.

4. Co-existence in nature means there is a relationship and complementarity among all the entities
in nature including human beings.

Abhaya means fearlessness; it is a permanent state where there is no question of ever experiencing
any fear. A person with abhaya is continuously aware if his own reality; for him to become subject
to fear would be impossible. We should not consider this quality of abhaya as just the absence of
fear. The fearlessness in the society begins from the individual. We need to ensure right
understanding in the individual as the foundation of harmony in the society. With right

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understanding, the need for physical facilities in the family can be ascertained. By assessing our
needs correctly and by producing more than required the family can be prosperous. Assurance of
right understanding in the individuals and prosperity in the families, understanding of human
relationships leads to harmony and trust (fearlessness) in the society. When every individual is
able to live harmoniously in relationship, and the needs of all the families are ensured,
fearlessness (mutual trust) in society will naturally follow. Thus the state of absence of fear at
society level will only be achieved when we have right understanding at individual level and
prosperity at the level of family.

Q.4 Right understanding in the individuals is the basis for harmony in the family, which is
the building block for harmony in the society. Give your comments.

Right understanding in the individuals is the basis for harmony in the family, which is the building
block for harmony in the society.

1. The harmony in the society begins from the individual. We need to ensure right understanding
in the individual as the foundation of harmony in the society.

2. With right understanding, the need for physical facilities in the family can be ascertained. By
assessing our needs correctly and by producing more than required the family can be prosperous.

3. Assurance of right understanding in the individuals and prosperity in the families,

understanding of human relationships leads to harmony and trust (fearlessness) in the society.
When every individual is able to live harmoniously in relationship, and the needs of all the
families are ensured, fearlessness (mutual trust) in society will naturally follow.

4. When human beings with right understanding interact with nature, it will be in consonance
with the coexistence and will be mutually enriching.

We may also understand it in the following sequence.

1. Right understanding 2. Prosperity 3. Fearlessness (trust) 4. Co-existence

Q.5 What is meaning of justice in human relationships? How does it follow from family to
world family?

Or

What is ‘justice’? What are its four elements? Is it a continuous or a temporary need?
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 Or

What is justice? How does it lead to mutual happiness?

Justice is the recognition of values (the definite feelings) in relationship, their fulfilment, the right
evaluation of the fulfilment resulting in mutual happiness. Justice concerns itself with the proper
ordering of things and people within a society. There are four elements: Recognition of values,
fulfilment, evaluation and mutual happiness ensured. When all the four are ensured, justice is
ensured. Mutual fulfilment is the hallmark of justice. And justice is essential in all relationships.
Justice starts from family and slowly expands to the world family. The child gets the
understanding of justice in the family. With this understanding, he goes out in the society and
interacts with people.

If the understanding of justice is ensured in the family, there will be justice in all the interactions
we have in the world at large. If we do not understand the values in relationships, we are governed
by our petty prejudices and conditionings. We may treat people as high or low based on their
body (particular caste, or sex or race or tribe), on the basis of wealth one possesses or the belief
systems that one follows. All this is source of injustice and leads to fragmented society while our
natural acceptance is for an undivided society and universal human order. Having explored the
harmony in the human beings, we are able to explore the harmony in the family. This enables us
to understand the harmony at the level of society and nature/existence. And this is the way; the
harmony in our living grows. We slowly get the competence to live in harmony with all human
beings.

Q.6 Briefly explain the activities of Desire, Thought and Expectation in the self with an
example.

The self is conscious in nature while the body is physico-chemical in nature. The interaction
between the ‘I’ and the body is in the form of exchange of information. So the focus of attention

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is on two categories of attributes of the self, namely, the powers of the self and the corresponding
activities as the manifest outcomes of these powers.
1. Power: This means the basic capacity in the self (‘I’). They are: desires, thoughts and
expectations.
2. Activities: The activities are: imaging, analyzing, and selecting/tasting. The activity of
analyzing means breaking down the image into various parts or to open it up. Selecting/tasting
is with the expectation of fulfilling our desires with the expectation of happiness. The activity
of selecting/tasting is the basic level via which the self interacts with the body.

A simple example to understand these activities is a follow:

⮚ We may have desire to have respect by being the owner of a big house. This is in the form
of imaging – we have an image in us of fulfilment of this need for respect via a house.
⮚ Based on this desire, we start working out the details of the house. Ex no. of rooms, storey’s,
on which floor in will stay. The image of wanting respect from the house is split into many
parts – this is called analyzing. The activity of analyzing means breaking down the image into
various parts.
⮚ Now that we have worked out the details of the house, we go about choosing the size,
colour etc. of the room. This is called selecting / tasting.
Q.7 How do we differentiate in relationships on the basis of body, physical facilities, or
beliefs? What problems do we face because of such differentiation?
or
How have we differentiated people on the basis of body and beliefs?
or
What is the meaning of respect? How do we disrespect others due to lack of right
understanding of this feeling?
or
How do we come to differentiate between human beings on the basis of body? Explain. What
are its consequences?

Respect means accepting individuality and doing right evaluation (to be evaluated as I am). Our
basis for respect today is largely quite contrary to our discussion above. Instead of respect being
a basis of similarity or one of right evaluation, we have made it into something on the basis of
which we differentiate i.e. by respecting you mean you are doing something special, because you
are special or have something special or are in some special position. Thus, all of us are running
around seeking respect from one another by trying to become something special.

Today, we are differentiating in the name of respect. We either differentiate people on the basis
of their body, on the basis of their wealth and possessions or on the basis of their beliefs. There
is no notion of respect in terms of right evaluation. Thus, there is no real feeling of relationship,
only one of differentiation.
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On the basis of body
Ø Sex/gender: We ignore the fact that being male or female is an attribute of the body, and
not an attribute at the level of ‘I’. And differentiate in giving respect on the basis of gender
called male and females. In many countries, people even prefer a male child to a female child,
and in some other societies, the other way round.
Ø Race: If the person is of the same race as oneself, then we treat them differently. For
example, we differentiate on the basis of skin colour – white, brown, black etc. or on the basis
of whether the person is of Aryan race, Mongolian race etc. or on the basis of caste. Again
here, we don’t do the evaluation on the basis of ‘I’, but on the basis of the body
Ø Age: We have notions such as ‘one must respect elders’. There is no such notion as respect
youngsters. Here, we see that we are again evaluating at the level of the body – age is related
to the body, and not to ‘I’.
Ø Physical strength: If someone is stronger, we again treat him/her differently. This is again
at the level of the body. In fact, we think that we are respecting the other while it is fear; the
fear that if we do not treat them like this, we will be harmed.

On the basis of physical facilities

Ø Wealth: We differentiate people because some have wealth than others. What we term as
a “rich person” gets idolized. We don’t even bother to find out whether such people are feeling
prosperous, or if they just have wealth. This way, we are over-evaluating physical facilities
first, which are just meant to fulfil the needs of the body, and then on this basis, we are wrongly
identifying our relationship.
Ø Post: We try to respect on the basis of a person’s position. The post is wrongly evaluated
as the mark of a person’s excellence and differentiation sets in. The post is considered
important either on the basis that it gives more physical facilities or on the basis that certain
positions are assumed to be important. In our education, we are trained directly or indirectly
to earn posts for us to fetch respect.

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On the basis of beliefs
Ø ‘Isms’: ‘Ism’ means any belief in terms of a ‘thought-system’ that we have, or that we have
adopted. There are also many modern ‘isms’ such as capitalism, socialism, communism, etc.
The people following these sets of beliefs are called capitalists, socialists, communists, and so
on. The people that have adopted them or are following them have been exposed to them since
childhood. Believing theirs to be the right belief. However, all beliefs, as we have seen are at
the level of desires, thoughts and expectations (selections) in ‘I’. There is no definiteness at
this level, and hence, this becomes a cause for differentiation.
Ø Sects: People of one sect only consider those with a similar belief system to be their ‘own’
and worthy of respect. Following a particular tradition, or what we call as religion, becomes
the basis of respect and disrespect in relationship.

Q.8 What are the five dimensions of human endeavour in society conducive to ‘manaviya
vyavastha’?
Or
What are the five dimensions of Human Endeavour? How are they helpful in achieving the
Comprehensive human goal?
Or
What are the programs needed to achieve the comprehensive human goal? List and define
each briefly

Comprehensive human goals are right understanding, prosperity, fearlessness and co-
existence. Programs needed to achieve the comprehensive human goals are:

1. Education – Right Living (Siksha – Sanskar)

2. Health – Self Regulation (Svasthya – Sanyam)

3. Justice – Preservation (Nyaya – Suraksha)

4. Production – Work (Utpadan – Kriya)

5. Exchange – Storage (Vinimaya – Kosh)

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Education – Right Living: Education refers to understanding hormony at all four levels of
living. While right living refers to commitment and preparedness to live in harmony at all four
levels of living.

Health – Self Regulation: Sanyama refers to a feeling of responsibility for nurturing, protecting
and rightly utilizing the body. When the body is fit to act according to the needs of the self (‘I’),
and, there is harmony among the parts of the body, it is referred to as health or svasthya.

Justice – Preservation: Justice (nyaya) refers to harmony in the relationship between human
beings, while preservation (suraksha) refers to harmony in the relationship between human being
and the rest of nature.

Exchange – Storage: Exchange (vinimaya) refers to the exchange of physical facilities between
the members of the society, while storage (kosa) refers to the storage of physical facilities that is
left after fulfilling the needs of the family.

We can now see how these five dimensions of humanistic society are able to ensure the human
goal:

Education – Right living leads to Right understanding

* Having the process of education and right living leads to right understanding in the individual.

Health – Self-regulation leads to Prosperity

* Having the program for health and sanyam leads to well-being of the body, nad identification
of need for physical facilities which along with production ensures feeling of prosperity in the
family.

Justice – Preservation leads to Fearlessness and Co-existence (respectively)

* Ensuring justice in relationship, or mutual fulfilment in relationship on the basis of values like
Trust, Respect, etc leads to fearlessness in society, while Suraksha of nature – via enrichment,
protection and right utilization leads to co-existence in nature.

Production – Work leads to Prosperity and Co-existence

* Production and work are for physical facilities, and this leads to a feeling of prosperity in the
family. Production is done in harmony with nature, and hence, this also leads to co-existence with
nature.

Exchange – Storage leads to Prosperity and Fearlessness

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* When we store and exchange for mutual fulfilment and not for exploitation, then it leads to
fearlessness (trust) in society.

How can you say that love is the complete value?

Love is called the complete value since this is the feeling of relatedness to all human beings. It is
the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. In other words, love is a feeling of warm
personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. It starts with identifying
that one is related to the other human being (the feeling of affection) and it slowly expands to the
feeling of being related to all human beings.

The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from
generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my wife").
"Love" can also refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the
sexual love of Eros (cf. Greek words for love), to the emotional closeness of familial love, or to
the platonic love that defines friendship, to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.
This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved,
makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

This feeling or value is also called the complete value since this is the feeling of relatedness to all
human beings. It starts with identifying that one is related to the other human being (the feeling
of affection) and it slowly expands to the feeling of being related to all human beings. The

feeling of love leads to an undivided society, it starts from a family and slowly expands to the
world family in the form of love.

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