I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN SAVE YOU FROM

by

neil labute

revised draft

19 april 2016
SILENCE. DARKNESS.

MAN SITTING ALONE AT A TABLE. DRINK IN FRONT OF HIM. SEEMS

LIKE AN UPSCALE PLACE.

HE CHECKS HIS WATCH. WHOEVER IS MEETING HIM IS LATE.

AFTER A MOMENT, HE GETS OUT HIS CELL. CHECKS HIS MESSAGES AND
THEN MAKES A QUICK CALL.

MAN
...hey there. Hi. Yeah. I’m here.
Just waiting, that’s all. (BEAT)
No, she’s probably just....yeah,
that’s what I figured...running
a few minutes late. Yep. (LAUGHS)
Ever since she was a kid. Always.
That’s okay, I’m not in any...I
mean, yeah, I’ve got to get back
to the airport at some...but it’s
like a half hour by cab, I might
even take the train out--no, that
isn’t a great way to, you’re right,
I’ll take a cab--but I’ve got lots
of time. (BEAT) Hmmmm? Can’t wait.
It’s been, what...? Three years...
I think...something like that. Or
more. Three years minimum since...
well, the last time that I saw her.
And that was...yeah. Can you even
believe it? No, not once. Refused
to, until we got things...yep. She
wouldn’t see me because I made a
comment about her mother. In pass-
ing! Something about how easy she
got off in the divorce....and my
kid says I didn’t deserve to see
her. Yep. No, said it right to my
face. ‘You do not deserve to see
me.’ Uh-huh. Yeah. No, those are
her words--my daughter’s--not my
ex-wife’s. Well, I mean, you know
where she got it from, of course,
but my kid’s the one who said it
to me...that’s right. Stuck to it,
too!! Right up until now. Today.
(BEAT) I know! Trust me...I know
how it sounds...I know!! Imagine
how it feels. (BEAT) Right. It hurt
like Hell...and now this... (BEAT)
Yeah, a breakthrough or, well, who
knows...? (BEAT) Maybe. Maybe so.
(MORE)
 2.

MAN (CONT'D)
We shall see...fingers crossed...
(BEAT) I mean, yeah! I love her,
no matter what, obviously...she’s
my daughter and I just...plus, she
has a baby now so there’s that, and
I just want things to get back down
to where they should be, how things
ought to be. What’s fair...that’s
all I want. A shot. Just the shot
I deserve as a person who gave her
life...you know? No matter how I
was as a dad or, like, a husband
to her mom...any of that...I want
the shot that I deserve with her
in this phase of our relationship.
(BEAT) Yes, I have a drink! That’s
not...no, this will be my only one.
Promise. (BEAT) I promise... (BEAT)
Yes, I’ll be strong...and I’ll call
you after....yes. YES. Right after.
Not when I get to the cab. Promise.

HE LOOKS AROUND AND SEES A YOUNG WOMAN COMING TOWARD HIM. SHE
IS DRESSED SMARTLY AND CARRIES A LARGE BAG OVER ONE SHOULDER.

THE MAN STANDS AND TRIES TO FINISH UP HIS CALL BEFORE SHE
ARRIVES.

MAN (CONT’D)
Sweetie...she’s here...no, I mean,
she’s coming. I can see her. So I
should go...okay, yes. I will. Yes.
Promise. RIGHT after. Okay. Yep. I
will. (BEAT) I love you, too...you
know I do. The most. I do. So much.
Yes. Okay. ‘Bye. Right. Yes. ‘Bye.

HE HASN’T SUCCEEDED--THE CALL HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH FOR THE

YOUNG WOMAN TO ARRIVE AND STAND AT THE TABLE. WAITING.

THE MAN PUTS THE PHONE AWAY, THEN MOVES TO HER. A LITTLE HUG.
NOT MUCH OF ONE, BUT ACCEPTABLE.

THE MAN PULLS OUT A CHAIR FOR HER AND SHE SITS. HE RETURNS TO
HIS SEAT. TAKES A SIP OF HIS DRINK. SMILES AT THE YOUNG WOMAN
BUT DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING.

SILENCE.

FINALLY, HE TRIES TO BREAK THE ICE WITH A QUESTION:

MAN (CONT’D)
...can I get you anything? (BEAT)
You look great, by the way...
 3.

YOUNG WOMAN
I’m fine.

MAN
You sure?

YOUNG WOMAN
Absolutely.

MAN
Okay.

YOUNG WOMAN
(indicating phone)
Was that her?

MAN
What?

YOUNG WOMAN
On the phone. Was that your new...?

MAN
When I was just...as you got here?

YOUNG WOMAN
Yes.

MAN
No. That was...no. It was my one of
my...you know...

YOUNG WOMAN
Who?

MAN
Just...my lawyers. That’s all.

YOUNG WOMAN
Oh.

MAN
Yeah. (BEAT) Gosh, it’s good to see
you, I have to say. So good to see
my baby girl again. (BEAT) I hope
that’s okay to say...

YOUNG WOMAN
“I love you, too...you know I do.
The most. I do. So much. Yes. Okay.
‘Bye. Right. Yes. ‘Bye.”

MAN
...ok, ok...Jesus...
 4.

YOUNG WOMAN
You’re very close with your lawyer.

MAN
Alright.

YOUNG WOMAN
I mean...professionally speaking.

MAN
OKAY. Yes. It was her. Sorry.

YOUNG WOMAN
So that’s how we’re gonna start off
here...with a lie?

MAN
No.

YOUNG WOMAN
I mean...

MAN
I just didn’t want to upset you...
that’s why I was...so, I’m sorry.

YOUNG WOMAN
Doesn’t matter.

MAN
Well, obviously it does.

YOUNG WOMAN
Obviously.

MAN
Can we just...?

YOUNG WOMAN
What?

MAN
Start again.

YOUNG WOMAN
Sure...let’s do that.

MAN
Thanks.

SHE STANDS. PUSHES IN HER CHAIR AND WAITS BY THE TABLE. THE
MAN DOESN’T GET IT FOR A SECOND, BUT THEN IT DAWNS ON HIM.
HE LAUGHS TO HIMSELF, THEN JUMPS UP AND PULLS OUT HER CHAIR
AGAIN.
 5.

SHE SITS AND HE RETURNS TO HIS SEAT. TAKE A SIP FROM HIS
DRINK, THEN SMILES AT HER. TRIES AGAIN:

MAN (CONT’D)
...can I get you anything?

YOUNG WOMAN
I’m fine.

MAN
You sure?

YOUNG WOMAN
Absolutely.

THE MAN SMILES AT THIS. TAKES ANOTHER SIP. THE YOUNG WOMAN
WAITS AND THEN TURNS TO HER BAG. RUMMAGING THROUGH IT.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)

Anyway...sorry I’m late.

MAN
No worries.

YOUNG WOMAN
I know, but...I hate being the one
who is. I pride myself on being on
time usually, so again...I’m sorry.

MAN
Honey, it’s okay. Honestly.

YOUNG WOMAN
Well, I just...

MAN
I’m fine for time. Really.

YOUNG WOMAN
I get that, I know, this isn’t so
much about you as it is me...I’m
talking about me right now and so
let me just finish: I left early,
the sitter was there and I was on
my way but I didn’t allow time for
the printing. Stopping at Kinko’s.

MAN
Kinko’s? I don’t understand...

YOUNG WOMAN
I had to make the copies.

SHE SAYS THIS LIKE HER FATHER SHOULD UNDERSTAND. HE DOESN’T.

 6.

MAN
Oh. (BEAT) Of what?

YOUNG WOMAN
This.

SHE PRODUCES A FAIRLY THINK SHEATH OF PAPERS, STAPLED AT THE

TOP. PLOPS ONE DOWN IN FRONT OF HER AND IN FRONT OF HERSELF.

TWO PENS FOLLOW. EACH PLACED AT AN ANGLE ON TOP OF THE PILE

OF PAPERS.

THE MAN WATCHES HER DO THIS AND SAYS NOTHING. ONE MORE SIP
IS ALL HE CAN MUSTER.

HE LOOKS DOWN AT THE PAGES, FLIPS ONE OVER. REPLACES THE PEN.

MAN
This is...what? For me to...?

YOUNG WOMAN
Read.

MAN
Oh. (BEAT) Ok. (BEAT) Now, or...?

YOUNG WOMAN
Now would be great. I have time for
‘now’ but it doesn’t have to be now
or, I mean, this second...today is
great. By the time you leave.

MAN
Oh.

YOUNG WOMAN
Yeah. (BEAT) And sign. (BEAT) Read
first but sign after. Eventually.

MAN
I see. (BEAT) So...I might just as
well...you know...check it over...

YOUNG WOMAN
Yeah. ‘Now’ is good.

MAN
‘Kay.

THE MAN FEELS AROUND HIS JACKET, LOOKING FOR SOMETHING. HE

STANDS UP, SEARCHING. FEELING.

FINALLY FINDS A PAIR OF READING GLASSES IN A SIDE POCKET.

 7.

PUTS THEM ON AND STARTS TO BROWSE THE DOCUMENT. THE YOUNG

WOMAN WATCHES HIM. AFTER A MOMENT, SHE SPEAKS AGAIN:

YOUNG WOMAN
...did you know that there aren’t
any more Kinko’s around? I didn’t
know that. Since I got pregnant...
had a baby...only in the last few
years, I guess. That’s when it all
happened. They disappeared. (BEAT)
I used to like going there. Into
Kinko’s. To make copies and stuff.

THE MAN HAS STOPPED READING AND IS LISTENING TO HIS CHILD

TALK ABOUT COPY CENTERS. SHE DOESN’T SEEM TO NOTICE.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)

I used to go in there with you...
when I was a kid. You always had
so many things to do--not just a
lot of copies, which you did do,
LOTS and LOTS of copies, but the
files that you’d download or the
shipping, they did shipping, too,
and you’d go in there for that--
seemed like it took forever when
I was young but there was something
about it that I liked as well. The
smell of the toner and the sound...
those machines, all chugging away,
in rhythm...I loved it. (BEAT) If
I think about it now...I’m sure
some of the things you were doing
weren’t actually for work...some
of it was for the people that you
were seeing, women in your life...
but at the time, it was all just
the noise and smell and...I always
liked that. Going there with you.
(BEAT) And then I realized...only
today...that Kinko’s doesn’t exist
any more...I mean, not like it did
in the past. It merged. With the...
you know...the other one. The big
one, that does all the...FED EX.
(BEAT) That’s who has it now. FED
EX. (BEAT) They do everything for
you now...they copy and ship and
fax and scan and sell you boxes
or pack your boxes or have little
mail boxes you can rent. Greeting
cards, too...or books. motivational
books about how to be a better per-
son or stronger or about power.
(MORE)
 8.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)

How to be a powerful individual...
They have those in there. Oh...and
gum. (OFFERS HIM A PIECE) I got gum
from there as well...

THE MAN NODS AT THIS, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY. THE YOUNG
WOMAN LOOKS OVER AT HIM AND STUDIES HIM FOR A MOMENT.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)

They didn’t have gum there when you
used to take me with you but they
do now. They carry gum...not all
kinds but a few flavors. Mint. I
suppose for your breath. People
who go in for work or to send a
package to a loved one but then
they realize that their breath
stinks and so...there it is...

SHE SEEMS TO HAVE FINISHED THIS STRANGE RUNNING MONOLOGUE AND

GROWS QUIET. HER FATHER LOOKS AT HER. NODS. WAITS AND THEN:

MAN
Oh. (BEAT) Well...that’s nice.

YOUNG WOMAN
Is it?

MAN
I mean, yeah..it’s good to know, I
guess...in case you needed, like,
a copy or something... (BEAT) Or a
piece of gum.

YOUNG WOMAN
Exactly.

MAN
...

YOUNG WOMAN
That’s exactly what I was thinking.
That it’s a great place for that...
if that’s what you needed... (BEAT)
Gum. (BEAT) ‘Cause you’d never ex-
pect to find it there. (BEAT) Gum.
Or any candy, really...but gum for
sure.

MAN
Right.

THEY STOP FOR ANOTHER BEAT. THE MAN TAKES A SIP OF HIS DRINK
WHILE SHE WATCHES HIM IN SILENCE.
 9.

SHE POINTS BACK TO THE DOCUMENT. CHECKS HER PHONE.

YOUNG WOMAN
Sorry, but I only have so long now,
before I have to get back...

MAN
Oh.

YOUNG WOMAN
The sitter. I mentioned her, didn’t
I?

MAN
Yes.

YOUNG WOMAN
Good.

MAN
I thought maybe...that...

YOUNG WOMAN
What?

MAN
Nothing.

YOUNG WOMAN
No, go ahead.

THE MAN TAKES ANOTHER SIP AND THEN TRIES TO GENTLY MOVE ONTO
THIS NEW SUBJECT.

MAN
I just...I figured you might bring
the baby along with you. Since we
were meeting...

YOUNG WOMAN
Oh.

MAN
I just assumed. (BEAT) It’s okay
that you didn’t, obviously. Your
choice. I was just hoping, that’s
all...

YOUNG WOMAN
I see.

MAN
No problem. (SMILES) Baby steps.
Right? (BEAT) Isn’t that right?
 10.

YOUNG WOMAN
Yeah. Right.

SHE POINTS AT THE PAPERS IN FRONT OF HER FATHER. HE LOOKS AT

THEM.

MAN
What?

YOUNG WOMAN
Maybe we should...keep...

MAN
What?

YOUNG WOMAN
You know... (POINTS) Reading.

MAN
Ok! I’ll...sweetie, what is this
thing? It’s very dense...

YOUNG WOMAN
Nothing. I think we should just...

MAN
It’s pretty thick. It’s like the...
what’s that thing, the English one,
they did way back in...you know...

YOUNG WOMAN
The ‘Magna Carta?’

MAN
Yes! That’s it...how’d you know
that was the one I was talking
about?

YOUNG WOMAN
I know your sense of humor.

MAN
Oh. (BEAT) Anyway, it kind of is...
I mean...wow. Ok, lemme just take a
look here... (READING) This isn’t a
legal document, right? I mean...it
doesn’t seem like it, but it’s...

YOUNG WOMAN
No. It’s not. It’s binding, with a
signature...but it’s not a legal...

MAN
Alright then. (BEAT) Good.
 11.

YOUNG WOMAN
It’s just something I drew up.

MAN
Oh.

YOUNG WOMAN
So...see what you think.

MAN
Ummmmmm-hmmmmmm...”So-and-so and so-
and-so state that they will...”

THE YOUNG WOMAN GETS OUT HER PHONE AND CHECKS HER MESSAGES
WHILE THE MAN READS FORWARD A BIT. BROWSING THE DOCUMENT.

AFTER A MOMENT, HE STOPS. LOOKS OVER AT HER. SHE TURNS TO

HIM.

MAN (CONT’D)
...sweetie...you’re not...I mean...
you’re kidding with this. Right?

YOUNG WOMAN
Not at all.

MAN
But...this is...you’re...

YOUNG WOMAN
What?

MAN
I mean...beyond the fact that it’s
written in this...kind of...

YOUNG WOMAN
I said it’s not a legal document.

MAN
I know! But still...the stuff that
you’re saying here, it’s very...

YOUNG WOMAN
You don’t have to agree.

MAN
Yeah, but baby...you can’t just...!
(READS AGAIN) “...now and forever.”
Who asks that of someone? Serious-
ly...WHO?

YOUNG WOMAN
Me. I guess. (BEAT) I’m asking it.
 12.

MAN
...sweetie...

YOUNG WOMAN
Please stop calling me that. And
‘baby.’ All those names. Stop it.
I don’t like it, so please...

MAN
Your my daughter...

YOUNG WOMAN
I know. And I have a name...

MAN
‘Marilyn.’

YOUNG WOMAN
Right. So call me that. My name.

MAN
Okay. ‘Marilyn.’ Look...this is...

YOUNG WOMAN
Think of it as a pre-nup. I know
you know what those are...

MAN
Baby...sorry. I’m sorry. (BEAT)
Marilyn, this is not...you can’t
do this. What you’re asking here.
People don’t do this kind of thing
to each other...family members...

YOUNG WOMAN
But they can. If they want to.

MAN
Yeah...but...Jesus...not a parent
and child...that’s not...

YOUNG WOMAN
I’m just setting some rules up. We
had a terrible relationship there
for a few years--not great ever,
but lately just awful--and I’m not
doing that again...not going to let
you do that to me again or what you
did to my mother, or other women...
now that we know what we know. All
the women. (BEAT) Right, Daddy?

SHE FINISHES AND WAITS. HE NODS AT THIS, CLEARS HIS THROAT

AND THEN LOOKS AT HER. LOWERS HIS VOICE AND SPEAKS:
 13.

MAN
Listen, if you’ve just brought me
here to hurt me, then...we should
probably...

YOUNG WOMAN
That’s not it.

MAN
No?

YOUNG WOMAN
Not at all.

MAN
Really?

YOUNG WOMAN
No. I’d like a relationship with
you...any kind we can salvage or...
whatever...’forge’ anew, then I’m
all for it, but...no. I will not go
back to what we had before. I just
won’t and you can’t make me. (BEAT)
You can’t make me and I won’t do it
on my own...this is your only shot.

MAN
‘You can’t make me.’

YOUNG WOMAN
That’s right.

MAN
Listen to yourself...

YOUNG WOMAN
No, you listen. (BEAT) You listen.

MAN
I’m sorry, but you sound like some
kind of child...a petulant child...

YOUNG WOMAN
I am! I am a child...your child and
you’ve made me this way! You did...
how I am right now, acting this way
and writing up documents like you
have there--that has all come from
who you are. YOU, daddy. YOU. You
have yourself to thank for this...

MAN
Oh, please! That’s bullshit...
 14.

YOUNG WOMAN
I’m sorry? What?

MAN
Nothing.

YOUNG WOMAN
No, what’d you just say?

MAN
I said it’s ‘bullshit’ what you’re
doing here...talking like this and
wanting me to follow some...some...
little manifesto of conduct...just
so I can see my grandchild...but...

YOUNG WOMAN
I want to be able to trust you! To
have a written statement...a bond
between us that says ‘Yes, go on,
my child is safe to see Grandpa,
it’s alright, he’s going to be a
good and kind person, I know it,
I know he will...’ (BEAT) I need
that on paper. I don’t trust you
anymore to be able to be a person
like that...sorry but you’ve failed
me. Over and over and over. Repeat-
edly...and I’m not going to open up
my heart again for that. To be ab-
solutely and utterly trampled on by
the...whims...of an old man...just
because he happened to fuck my mom
oh so many years ago...

THE MAN STANDS UP. STARTS TO DIG SOME MONEY OUT OF A POCKET
TO PAY FOR THE DRINK.

MAN
I’m going now...

YOUNG WOMAN
Alright.

MAN
You can keep the paperwork. It was
amusing...I’ll say that much...

YOUNG WOMAN
Sounds good.

MAN
I hope you and your husband and the
baby there are very happy...
 15.

YOUNG WOMAN
We’re not married.

MAN
Oh...I thought you were...

YOUNG WOMAN
Ha! Normally I’d find that devastat-
ing but it’s just so par for the...
course...that I can’t do anything
but laugh. (BEAT) Ha! (BEAT) Wow.
You are amazing...I give you that.

MAN
I’m sorry! I have a life...I have a
company with many employees whom I
am responsible for. (BEAT) I love
you...you may not believe that but
I do...I love you and want to have
...something between us...but not
in this way. (POINTS TO PAGES) Not
if it’s like that.

YOUNG WOMAN
...why? Because someone’s told you
what to do? How to behave--and what
happens if you don’t? Is that why?

MAN
No...I mean...that’s not the...

YOUNG WOMAN
You sure?

MAN
No, I’m just...because you can’t
dictate how we set up our...lives!

YOUNG WOMAN
You did! When I was young. You and
mom did that to me. And after you
guys divorced, you did then as well
with the court orders and the end-
less fights over which nights and
weekends...all that shit...and now
since then as well. When you’re in
town or what days might be good to
come down to the beachhouse because
that’s when what’s-her-name (fill-
in-the-fucking-blank on that one...
who’re you with these days? Do you
even know her name? Her actual name
or how old she really is? Do you?).
(MORE)
 16.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT'D)

(BEAT) You have dictated for years
my place in line and how I stood
while waiting in that line and now
I’m saying that’s over. We are done
with that. No more... (BEAT) I am
saying ‘no’ to you, daddy, which I
know you don’t like to hear. Ever.

MAN
I really am going...

YOUNG WOMAN
Do it. Go for it. Walk out the door
right now...I dare you. And you’ll
never see me again...or my son...
your only grandchild. (BEAT) Named
after you. (BEAT) Your namesake.

MAN
What?

YOUNG WOMAN
Hadn’t heard that one yet? No?

MAN
...no...

YOUNG WOMAN
All those people, working for you,
nobody checked out my baby’s name
on Facebook? (BEAT) Somebody needs
a good talking to...some secretary
that you’re fucking, no doubt, so
that’ll be awkward, but still...
she’s not doing her job. (BEAT)
Daddy.

MAN
(changing subjects)
You named your son after me...?

YOUNG WOMAN
‘Simon Douglas Johnson.’ Yes.

MAN
Oh.

YOUNG WOMAN
As I said...I’m not married, so
even the last name is his...

THIS HAS CAUGHT THE MAN OFF GUARD AND HE RETURNS TO HIS SEAT.
TAKES ANOTHER DRINK. SITS. LOOKING AT HER.
 17.

SILENCE.

AFTER A MOMENT, SHE PUSHES THE DOCUMENT HIS WAY AGAIN. ALONG
WITH THE PEN.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)

What part can’t you live with?

MAN
(distracted)
...what...?

YOUNG WOMAN
Here. In this file. (POINTS) What
is it you find so offensive?

MAN
I mean...come on... (HE PULLS IT TO
HIM AND GLANCES AT IT AGAIN) “Fines
ranging from ten to twenty thousand
dollars per infraction will be...”
That’s absurd.

YOUNG WOMAN
Is it?

MAN
Yes! Obviously...

YOUNG WOMAN
Why?

MAN
Because I’m not...just some...

YOUNG WOMAN
You have money. We need money.

MAN
Yeah, but...this is...

YOUNG WOMAN
I’m not saying you will break the
arrangement, but if you do...IF...
then you’ll pay for it. (BEAT) It’s
pretty simple...

MAN
Twenty thousand bucks for me not
showing up when I said I will be--
at a birthday or something...?!

YOUNG WOMAN
Seems fair to me...
 18.

MAN
That’s crazy, sweetheart! I’m...
sorry, but it just is.

YOUNG WOMAN
I asked you not to...

MAN
...sorry...’Marilyn’...

YOUNG WOMAN
Doesn’t matter. (BEAT) You used to
do that all the time...before the
divorce and after...break my heart,
weekend after weekend. (BEAT) Now
you pay. If you do. You do that...
break my heart or the teeny tiny
heart of my son...then it’ll cost
you money...because money is the
only thing you’ve ever understood.

THEY LOCK EYES. NEITHER ONE WILLING TO LOOK AWAY.

FINALLY, THE MAN NODS AND BREAKS FREE FROM HER GAZE. LOOKS
BACK TO THE DOCUMENT. RUNNING HIS FINGERS OVER THE VARIOUS
PARAGRAPHS.

MAN
“...no sign or any of your whores
at your various places of residence
if we visit...if any sign of said
whores exists...each infraction is
and shall be penalized at the rate
of twenty thousand dollars.” (BEAT)
My ‘whores?’ (BEAT) Really?

YOUNG WOMAN
It’s not a legal document.

MAN
Yeah, you’ve said that, but come
on! I mean...this is just...please.
(BEAT) Seriously. (BEAT) Marilyn.

THE YOUNG WOMAN STARES AT HIM. NODS. SMILES. AFTER A MOMENT,

SHE BEGINS SPEAKING AGAIN:

YOUNG WOMAN
When I was a girl...a teenage girl
I used to walk in on you with other
women. It was disgusting...

MAN
I was trying to live my life...
 19.

YOUNG WOMAN
You couldn’t keep them away...even
on our weekends together...just 48
hours that we had every other week
and still they were there...at a
meal with us or by the pool...in
your bed...moaning at night...do
you remember? (BEAT) I do.

MAN
Look, I’m sorry...that was probably
not the best...in retrospect...but
that’s the past! I want to do this
with you, create something new...

YOUNG WOMAN
And we will...but if that happens
again...if Simon has to see their
flip-flops or find their diaphragm
in his bathroom drawer...then it’ll
cost you. $20,000.

MAN
...this is nuts...

YOUNG WOMAN
This is the price you pay to have
me back in your life...and to have
your grandson in it as well.

MAN
It’s blackmail.

YOUNG WOMAN
Not if you don’t fuck up...

MAN
Ha! But seriously...all this is a
way of...just...you’re punishing me
here. (BEAT) You are.

YOUNG WOMAN
Ummmmmm...yeah. I mean, obviously.

MAN
So you admit it, then...?

YOUNG WOMAN
Completely.

MAN
I see...
 20.

YOUNG WOMAN
But not JUST punish you.

MAN
No?

YOUNG WOMAN
No. It’s also to help you. (BEAT)
This is meant to save you...

MAN
Save me? (BEAT) Really? From what?

YOUNG WOMAN
From yourself...

THE YOUNG WOMAN LOOKS AT HIM, SMILE GROWING AS SHE SAYS:

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)

You’re a fucking prick who deserves
nothing...a bully and a liar and a
cheat who has ruined the lives of
so many people...so many women...
and you know it. You even know it!
That’s the amazing part...it’s not
like some flaw in your character...
this fatal flaw like some Greek god
who falters but then rights himself
and in the end...he’s...no. You’re
nothing like that! You’re a bastard
and you know it and you continue on
and on and on...brutalizing those
around you, day by day. Caring only
for yourself. That’s who you are...

MAN
Huh. (BEAT) Really? (BEAT) God...
if you weren’t my daughter...and I
mean my adult daughter...I’d slap
you across the mouth right now...

YOUNG WOMAN
I know you would.

MAN
I would! To talk to someone like
that? Someone who has clothed you
and feed you and bought you every
fucking thing you ever pointed at
or wished for in your ‘letters to
Santa’...you sit there and judge
me? Tell me who I am? (BEAT) You
are very lucky, my dear, I’ll tell
you that much...
(MORE)
 21.

MAN (CONT'D)
very lucky that you are my child
and that we are in a public place
and that you’re too old for a spank-
ing...

YOUNG WOMAN
Is that right?

MAN
That is absolutely right! Because
that is what you need...a good old-
fashioned spanking...right now...

YOUNG WOMAN
Is it? Is that what I need?

MAN
You’re damn right it is! God!! I
oughta... (CATCHING HIMSELF) But
you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Me
to do that, to fulfill your little
fantasy of who I am...the big bad
wolf... well, fuck that. No thank
you. Not taking the bait. (BEAT)
I am trying to turn over a page
here...a new page and you’re not
gonna spoil it for me...you or
anybody else. (BEAT) Screw you...

THE MAN SUDDENLY PICKS UP THE PEN AND GOES TO THE LAST PAGE
OF THE DOCUMENT. THE SIGNATURE PAGE. HE READIES THE PEN.

HE IS ABOUT TO SIGN WHEN THE YOUNG WOMAN CALLS OUT TO HIM:

YOUNG WOMAN
...sure you don’t want to read the
rest of it?

MAN
It’s fine.

YOUNG WOMAN
Yeah, you positive?

MAN
I’ll make sure I clean up all the
condoms and hair pins before little
Simon comes over to use the pool...

YOUNG WOMAN
Please do.

MAN
I will. Don’t worry about it...
 22.

HE SCRIBBLES HIS SIGNATURE ON THE LAST PAGE. CLOSES THE

DOCUMENT.

SHE PUSHES THE SECOND ONE OVER TO HIM. HE SIGNS THAT ONE,
TOO. HE PUSHES IT BACK TO HER BUT SHE RETURNS IT AGAIN.

YOUNG WOMAN
That one is yours... (BEAT) And you
really should read the rest of it
at some point. The fine print.

MAN
I will. At some point.

YOUNG WOMAN
Fine.

MAN
Good.

YOUNG WOMAN
See you soon. (BEAT) Shall we start
with a holiday, maybe...or...?

MAN
Whenever. Call me and we can set up
a day or a weekend or something...

YOUNG WOMAN
Sounds good.

MAN
Fine.

YOUNG WOMAN
I hope this works out. I really do.

MAN
Good. Me too.

YOUNG WOMAN
Good. (BEAT) I mean, either way...

THE YOUNG WOMAN GETS UP, STARTS TO GATHER HER THINGS. PUTS
HER COPY OF THE CONTRACT AWAY INTO HER OVER-SIZED BAG.

MAN
What’s that mean?

YOUNG WOMAN
Nothing.

MAN
No, what?
 23.

THE YOUNG WOMAN WAITS A BEAT, THEN TURNS AND SAYS TO HIM:

YOUNG WOMAN
Just that...no matter what happens,
it’s good for me. (BEAT) So...

MAN
I don’t get it.

YOUNG WOMAN
I’m just saying...if we’re somehow
able to create a new phase in our
relationship, then great...that’ll
be an amazing and wonderful thing.
A huge surprise, in fact...at this
late date. BUT...

MAN
‘But’ what?

YOUNG WOMAN
But...if you mess up...then I make
a lot of money...money that I know
will kill you to give me...

SHE SMILES AT HIM, PLACES A HAND ON HIS SHOULDER AND STARTS

TO WALK OFF. HE SHAKES HIS HEAD AND SAYS OUT LOUD:

MAN
That is really fucked up...

YOUNG WOMAN
Maybe so, but be careful...that
just cost you five thousand bucks.

MAN
Excuse me?

YOUNG WOMAN
What you just said...that’s in the
contract. You swearing. In any way.
(BEAT) That’s $5,000. (BEAT) Which
you can pay me now or have wired to
my account...

MAN
Are you...what? You gotta be fuck-
ing kidding me...

YOUNG WOMAN

Now it’s $10,000. “Any swearing, of

any kind, and/or aggressive type of
behavior. In graduating amounts...”
 24.

MAN
Ahhhhhh...well then...fuck you. You
got that? Hmmm? Sweetie? FUCK. YOU.

YOUNG WOMAN
Keep it up. $15,000.

MAN
Let’s make it an even twenty. You
stupid fucking cunt...

YOUNG WOMAN
Ewwwww...that’s a bad one. $20,000
for that one, actually... (THINKS)
You’re up to $35,000 now. You wanna
push it? Hmmmm? (BEAT) Do you?

THE YOUNG WOMAN STANDS THERE, WAITING. THE MAN IS TRYING TO

KEEP A LID ON IT BUT JUST BARELY.

MAN
...just go. (BEAT) GO!

YOUNG WOMAN
Ok, Daddy. I will...but don’t tell
me what to do...’cause that’ll cost
you, too.

MAN
What?

YOUNG WOMAN
“Unsolicited advice. $10,000.”

MAN
Jesus Christ...

YOUNG WOMAN
Technically a swear word...techni-
cally the only swear word and as
such, carries a preminum. $10,000.
(SMILES) You’re really racking it
up there, Daddy...

MAN
Stop calling me that. ‘Daddy.’

YOUNG WOMAN
I’ll call you whatever I want to
from now on...whatever and when-
ever I feel like calling you...

MAN
No, you won’t...stop it...
 25.

YOUNG WOMAN
I’ll stop when I wanna stop. Daddy.

MAN
I said ‘stop it’ so you stop! Now!

HE TURNS TO GO BUT SHE STOPS HIM AGAIN WITH WHAT SHE SAYS:

YOUNG WOMAN
Sorry, Daddy, you don’t have any
say over me...not any more...does
that bother you, Daddy? (IN A GIRL
VOICE) Does it? Does it bother my
big, strong Daddy? Hmmmm? Does it?

SHE STANDS THERE, WITH A STRANGE TAUNTING SMILE ON HER FACE.

HE IS FROZEN, RED-FACED AND SHAKING. FINALLY:

MAN
I was wrong...

YOUNG WOMAN
What’s that, Daddy? What were you
so so wrong about? Hmmmm? Tell me.

MAN
You’re never too old...

WITH A SUDDEN MOVEMENT HE HAS HER IN HIS ARMS. SHE THRASHES

ABOUT BUT HE EASILY MAN-HANDLES HER BACK TO HIS CHAIR.

HE THROWS HER OVER HIS KNEE. SHE IS FIGHTING AND SCREAMING

BUT HE HOLDS HER DOWN. PULLS UP THE BACK OF HER DRESS AND
EXPOSES HER UNDIES.

THE MAN SPANKS HER AGAIN AND AGAIN ON THE ASS. LOOKING AT HER
FACE AND THEN BACK TO HER BOTTOM AS HE WAILS AWAY ON HER.

SHE BURSTS INTO TEARS AND SCREAMS FOR HIM TO STOP BUT HE DOES
NOT STOP. HE KEEPS GOING AND FINALLY SAYS:

MAN (CONT’D)
Now thank me...you hear me? Thank
your Daddy. Go on, thank me! Do it!

YOUNG WOMAN
(weeping)
Stop...stop...stop it...

MAN
Thank your Daddy...do it now...you
thank him! THANK HIM!! DO IT!!!
 26.

SHE THRASHES A BIT MORE BUT CAN’T GET AWAY FROM HIM. AFTER A
MOMENT SHE GIVES UP OR GIVES IN, TEARS STREAMING DOWN.

YOUNG WOMAN
...thank you...thank you...thank
you, Daddy...thank you...Daddy...

FINALLY HE STOPS, DROPPING HER OFF HIS KNEE AND INTO A HEAP
IN FRONT OF HIS CHAIR.

THE MAN STANDS, STRAIGHTENING HIMSELF UP AND STEPPING AWAY.

MAN
...I don’t know what that just cost
me, but you know what? (BEAT) Huh?

SHE DOESN’T ANSWER HIM SO HE CROUCHES DOWN NEAR HER HEAD.

MAN (CONT’D)
It was fucking worth it, sweetie...

THE YOUNG WOMAN IS STILL SNIFFLING. TRYING TO GATHER HERSELF

BUT WITH HER HEAD DOWN. IN SLOW MOTION.

MAN (CONT’D)
And I didn’t do that just to punish
you. I want you to know that. Okay?
I also did it help you... (BEAT) I
did it to save you. You understand?

THE MAN WAITS. FIXING HIS HAIR AND HIS TIE. HE BENDS DOWN TO
HIS DAUGHTER. LISTENING FOR A RESPONSE BUT NOTHING COMES.

MAN (CONT’D)
I’ll see you soon. We’ll set some-
thing up. I look forward to meeting
my grandson. (BEAT) Now say ‘good-
bye.’ (BEAT) Right now.

YOUNG WOMAN
...’goodbye’...

MAN
That’s right. And you’re welcome...

THE MAN WAITS FOR HER BUT GROWS IMPATIENT. HE REACHES OVER
AND GRABS HER BY THE HAIR. TURNS HER FACE TO HIS.

MAN (CONT’D)
What did we teach you, hmmm? What
did mommy and daddy teach you to
say when someone does you a favor
or says ‘you’re welcome? (BEAT) Do
you remember? Do you?
 27.

YOUNG WOMAN
...thank you...

THE MAN SMILES AND TOUCHES HIS DAUGHTER ON THE CROWN OF HER
HEAD.

MAN
That’s right. That’s a good girl...

HE PICKS UP HIS COPY OF THE CONTRACT FROM THE TABLE AND TUCKS
IT UNDER HIS ARM. HE HEADS FOR THE DOOR. STOPS AND TURNS.

MAN (CONT’D)
I’ll have my people total this up
and send you a check. Okay? (BEAT)
Good. (BEAT) ‘Bye, sweetie.

THE MAN DISAPPEARS.

THE WOMAN IS STILL ON THE GROUND. HAIR IN HER FACE. TRYING TO

GATHER HER THINGS BUT STILL CATCHING HER BREATH.

LITTLE SOBS ESCAPE HER MOUTH AS SHE SAYS:

YOUNG WOMAN
(to herself)
...thank you, Daddy...thank you...
thank you, Daddy...thank you...

SILENCE. DARKNESS.