Exercise 4: Emotional Literacy
Content covered on pages 147-148 of Dare to Lead.
List of Core Emotions
(This research is in progress and we expect to have findings and a final list in early 2020.)
• Anxious • Frustrated • Lonely
• Belonging • Gratitude • Love
• Blame • Grief • Overwhelmed
• Curious • Guilt • Regret
• Disappointed • Happy • Sad
• Disgust • Humiliation • Shame
• Embarrassment • Hurt • Surprised
• Empathy • Jealous • Vulnerability
• Excited • Joy • Worried
• Fear/Scared • Judgment
Pick one of the emotions from the Core Emotions List that is hard for you–one that shows
up in difficult ways at school. Consider the following questions when thinking about the
emotion you chose.
When I experience ____________
01. I’m feeling…
Affect or Emotion – Where am I physically feeling this? How’s my body responding?
02. I’m thinking…
Cognition – Is there a thought constantly looping in my mind? What’s my go-to
thought process?
03. I do/I act…
Behavior – What’s the first thing I want to do? What is the only thing I want to do?
© 2020 by Brené Brown, LLC | All rights reserved | www.brenebrown.com/daringclassrooms
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Exercise 4: Emotional Literacy (continued)
Content covered on pages 147-148 of Dare to Lead.
We often see or experience anger or shutting down on the surface of ourselves
or others, but these are commonly hiding other emotions. What are the core
emotions that show up for you as anger and/or shutting down?
Exercise Instructions: This can be a sensitive exercise for the people who are really
stretching and doing the work. One way to process is to have everyone share their entire
worksheet at one time. Another option is to have everyone complete the exercise and
simply share one thing that they learned about themselves in the process. If you’re going
with the second option, explain the process before people start (To give us room to dig
deep and stretch, we’re not going to share our answers to these questions, just share how
we experienced the process).
© 2020 by Brené Brown, LLC | All rights reserved | www.brenebrown.com/daringclassrooms
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Exercise 5: Empathy in Practice
Content covered on pages 152-157 of Dare to Lead.
Empathy Misses
• Sympathy vs. Empathy
• The Gasp and Awe
• The Mighty Fall
• The Block and Tackle
• The Boots and Shovel
• If You Think That’s Bad…
01. When you think about these six types of empathy misses, is there one or two that
shut you down?
02. What emotion comes up for you when your sharing meets one of these barriers,
and how does that affect your connection with the person?
03. On the flip side, how do you rate your own empathic skill?
04. Are there one or two empathic misses that you typically use that you need to change?
Exercise Instructions: We do a round robin with this exercise, and reminders
about permission slips and container building. It’s helpful to remind each other that we
all miss sometimes.
© 2020 by Brené Brown, LLC | All rights reserved | www.brenebrown.com/daringclassrooms
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Exercise 6: Shame Shields
Content covered on page 161 of Dare to Lead.
Strategies of Disconnection:
(From Linda Hartling and her fellow researchers at the Stone Center at Wellesley.)
• Moving Away: Withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves and keeping secrets
• Moving Towards: Seeking to appease and please
• Moving Against: Trying to gain power over others, being aggressive, and using
shame to fight shame
01. Whom are you most likely to Move Away from?
02. What are the specific triggers or situations at school that would prompt you to use the
shield of Moving Away?
03. Whom are you most likely to Move Towards?
04. What are the specific triggers or situations at school that would prompt you to use the
shield of Moving Towards?
05. Whom are you most likely to Move Against?
© 2020 by Brené Brown, LLC | All rights reserved | www.brenebrown.com/daringclassrooms
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Exercise 6: Shame Shields (continued)
Content covered on page 161 of Dare to Lead.
06. What are the specific triggers or situations at school that would prompt you to use the
shield of Moving Against?
07. Do you have a go-to shield that you grab in certain situations?
Exercise Instructions: This can be a sensitive exercise for the people who are
really stretching and doing the work. The best way to proceed is to set it up as an
exercise where you’ll share your experiences of working through the process (versus
sharing answers).
© 2020 by Brené Brown, LLC | All rights reserved | www.brenebrown.com/daringclassrooms
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