Welcome to Modern Loss
Let’s face it: Most of us can’t handle talking about death. We’re awkward and uncertain; we blurt out platitudes or say nothing at all; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit. We can do better.
Modern Loss has been trying to do better since 2013, when “grief” was still considered a four-letter word. We’ve worked to eradicate the stigma surrounding the long arc of loss and to focus on the resilience that each of us has the capacity to grow. This project grew out of two friends’ (Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, hello there!) separate experiences with sudden loss, and their struggle to find resources that weren’t too clinical, overtly religious, patronizing or, frankly, cheesy.
This newsletter is written by me, Rebecca Soffer. It’s a place to share the unspeakably taboo, unbelievably hilarious, and unexpectedly beautiful terrain of navigating your life after a death or grief of all kinds. Because loss is a “forever” thing that takes on different shapes across time. While you may need us more often at times than at others, we’ll always be here for you, through career changes, breakups, parenthood and beyond. Beginners welcome.
What you will get here:
A place to be in community with others in the comments, notes, and chats and feel like part of a global network of people who “get it” (and people who need people who '“get it”)
A deeper, more personal look into what I’m thinking, learning, and exploring in the world as it relates to grief of all kinds
Featured conversations with names you know from TV and film, comedy, literature, music, and the greater therapeutic world (and if you don’t yet, you will)
Substack Live videos with some folks from the above line
Creative ideas for exploring your own loss
Invitations to participate in numerous gift swaps throughout the year (this is included for all paid subscribers and is an amazing way to connect with someone else who “gets it”)
What you won’t get here:
• Judgment
• Tips to help you “get over” or “get past” it
• Anything associated with the idea of a “valid” loss. If you feel it, it’s real.
• Platitudes such as “Everything happens for a reason.” Just … no.
About Rebecca Soffer
Rebecca Soffer is a bestselling author of The Modern Loss Handbook, the cofounder of Modern Loss, and a Peabody Award–winning former producer for The Colbert Report. She mixes warmth, humor, and honesty to make tough conversations about grief, mental health, resilience, and empathy feel approachable. Rebecca has worked with Fortune 500 companies, universities, and community organizations around the world—helping teams connect in ways that foster compassion, sustainability, and real human connection.
Fun facts: Rebecca is fluent in Spanish (she’s even a certified medical interpreter), an avid cyclist, and has lived in four countries in three continents. Her first live concert was Weird Al at Philly’s Mann Music Center (which she finds very cool). Rebecca dreams of guest judging Is It Cake? and at home she and her husband are busy raising their two young sons.
