I’ve seen some of the most terrible people inaginable manage to find themselves in a relationship. There really is someone for everyone
There was this one dude I met at an event, literally would hit on every single conventionally attractive woman he encountered. If he was sitting in a space with multiple women he’d hit on one woman for a bit then realize he’s not getting anywhere and turn and start hitting on the next woman as if she didn’t just witness him hitting on 3 other women before moving onto her. Personality of soggy cardboard that constantly tries to cheat on you. Yeah he had a girlfriend while this was all going on. I got to hear him have half-ass phone sex where he both called her “baby” and “mommy” within 2 sentences. Then that evening he cheated on her with a friend of a friend who I’d really hoped had better standards than that.
Point is, if a dude who literally repells everyone around him the moment he opens his mouth (and he doesn’t stop opening his mouth) can get in a relationship, you can too.
no.
I don’t hate myself at all, but I honestly don’t see how my spouse manages to not just like me, but actually have me as his partner. It’s so weird, I’d go crazy if I had to live with me.
My wife says the same thing. I hate it. I want her to love herself as much as I do and I wish she could see how beautiful she is in my eyes.
I am sure your spouse also wants you to love yourself as he does and for you to see the beauty he sees.
We all want to make our partners happy and loving yourself that way might possibly the happiest you can be.
See I can only think up to “if I was a girl” before being completely derailed into other thoughts from there :3
In my case it’s a paradox. If I meet someone I like we won’t have much in commom because people that have things in commom with me and that would be great company to me are not out there meeting people, like I’m not also. It’s lile my “prince charming” exists but WFH, don’t like to go out and just watch horror movies, cute puppy videos and eat cheese
It’s the damndest thing.
When you work on yourself, like yourself, and invest in your interests, women are more attracted to you.
Like. The easiest way to trick people into liking you is to be a good person. And then one day you’re like: hey, I can’t believe this is working, tenting your fingers, and you can’t think of anything you’ve done in a decade that you hate yourself for and you’re like: holy shit, AM I a good person?
There are qualities about myself that I really like to be present in the people in my life (including my wife, and previous partners I’ve had): smart, empathetic, funny, fun, interesting, charismatic, confident.
There are also qualities in myself that I need to actively rely on others in my life to help me mitigate, and that I don’t like to bring into my own life: disorganized, absent minded, easily distracted. I like for the people in my life to be the opposite. Also in terms of physical attraction I am a man who is attracted to women, so I want the “opposite” of myself in that respect, too.
And there are qualities that I don’t have, that I really like for my partner to have: kind, emotionally supportive, spontaneous.
There are qualities about myself that I don’t much care one way or another whether my partners or my friends have: extroverted, athletic, technically minded.
And when talking about actual interests and hobbies and background and experience and knowledge, there’s a lot that I like to see that are true of myself, and a lot that I like to see that aren’t true of myself.
Ultimately, a partner is going to have some overlapping things with yourself, some differences, and the question you have to ask yourself is whether you’re a good fit for each other. That answer is going to depend a lot on different things.
If you are not kind or emotionally supportive you a) have no right to expect the same from a partner and b) probably shouldn’t have one.
A partnership requires emotional support from both partners. To expect this to go one way is fucked up.
Nope, I reject the idea that only emotionally supportive people are deserving of love. These aren’t binary traits, and many of aren’t as good at providing comfort in emotional situations for our own reasons:
- People who are themselves easily affected emotionally may not have it in themselves to step up right in the moments where someone else might need it.
- People who struggle a bit to respond with the same emotions as others might tend to be less able to provide emotional support for someone experiencing a thing they can’t relate with.
- To borrow from the love languages concept, some people provide support in ways that aren’t easily understood as such by the recipient. Perhaps more importantly, not everyone who gives love in a particular way prefers to receive love in that particular way.
I know I’m good at providing encouragement when things are going well (gunning for a promotion, trying to win a sporting competition, trying out stand up comedy for the first time), while being less able to provide emotional support when things are sad for other people (death of loved one, illness, other loss, plain old anxiety or depression). I’ll try to make it up with the other stuff (mostly doing things for people, sometimes just being present), but I’m not going to pretend that I’m actually a shoulder that anyone would choose to cry on. And yet I have enriching and fulfilling relationships with plenty of friends, family, and a wife who doesn’t actually ask that of me, who knew this about me long before we got married, and occasionally joked about my robotic ways. Our kids go to her when they want to cry about something, and they come to me when they want me to take some action that would alleviate the issue that made them sad in the first place (first aid, fixing broken shit, simply being hungry). I’d go as far as to say we make a great team and family unit.
I am who I am, and I still deserve (and receive) love. I think the way you look at things is too narrow and would condemn like the 75% of people who are bad at this stuff to a life forever alone, which is not very reasonable or empathetic of you.
People are able to change. Be the best version of yourself and someone will take notice.
Be someone you want to date. Then date yourself. I hear of a beautiful pool that nobody but me seems to really see the beauty in
Be someone you want to date.
Got myself some big floppy boobs, now what
Get out of my room mom!!!
And just how high are you right now?
5’5
Hey, that’s me! 🫶
Us bro us🫂
If you don’t like yourself it’s because you aren’t your type but you are definitely someone else’s type. This doesn’t mean there isn’t room for self improvement to increase your chances of falling in someone’s range.
Just being confident about who you are rather putting yourself down goes along way. Though you could argue that being a pessimist is part of your personality but the only people you will attract will be those trying to fix you.
Tbh, I don’t really want to be in a relationship with anyone whose standards are low enough to like me. Guess I’ll be alone forever. 🫡
That’s definitely an accurate analysis of your troubles, I hope you get worse.
Turn the world into your dance floor
That’s some shit, I hope.
That’s some self-sabotage shit, I hope you get better.
That’s some low self esteem shit, I hope you get better.
Same, like I have options but I just don’t want to settle for the kind of girl who’s willing to settle for me. I’m not lonely though and enjoy being free to do whatever I want all the time so it’s whatever.
That’s some Groucho Marx level shit, I hope you get better.
That’s some toxic self-hatred level shit, I hope you get better.
That’s some incel level shit, I hope you get better.
I hope the OP is 16, this is incel sadposting
Is it?
I thought it was straight people problems. I.e. I’m not attracted to men so I don’t understand why women like me. But they do shrug
No u
At some point, self-hatred is just masturbation.
I tried both but it just doesn’t compare.
You might be whacking off wrong.
Of course you wouldn’t, gender is a only a social construct. I hate all sorts of people and I’d hate them all the same as a girl.
“I’m 12 and this is deep” would be a nice subreddit for this crap bordering incel-dogma.
Sorry, but everyone (except pedos, murderers and the likes) deserves to be loved. There is no international norm nor measure of love-worthyness. And it surely wouldn’t be defined by your face, your income, your schlongsize, your height or your whatever.
Just because there are legions of ugly (inside) people who define your worth based solely on above mentioned criteria, doesn’t mean there aren’t solid people out there who don’t. It just gets tiresome, sorting out the bad raisins. And if you’re absolutely adamant that you’re ugly inside too (which is probably just the work of others): be the change you want to see in this world, or be a pussy and give up.
Stop frequenting sites/people who pamper your already skewed worldview and drag you deeper into THEIR void…avoid toxic people by all means. No matter who they are.
Crashing out in a shitpost 😂
I have the time to do this and it surely couldn’t hurt OP more than others did. And it made an intellectually superior being, like you, have fun. Well worth my time 😁
Is there any chance, loooong shot I know, that OP was using his meme to criticize the very mentality that you did?
But in the same comment you said “everyone deserves to be loved” and “[everyone should] avoid toxic people”. That doesn’t follow.
Everyone with exceptions. Add people who are toxic to others to that exceptions. Or try to flood them with love in hope to cure their toxicity. Your choice.
And surely it’s not just black and white but gradual. You might be mildly toxic due to other toxic people and just haven’t reflected enough yet. Or you might be a cesspool of hate and poison, way beyond the point of possible repair.
I surely can’t fit all this into a simple formula. It’s a general guideline. And if it’s shit to you then just ignore and make up your own 😊
But once you add any exceptions, it’s no longer “everyone”, excluding a good chunk of the population and, for example, the guy in the meme might be from your exception list.
Yeah sure, I forgot everything is binary. My bad.
Not the guy you’re replying to but the first half of your argument is silly. If I said “Everyone on Lemmy likes Star Trek.”, would you still demand that every exception be named or would you understand that I was talking in generalities?
I understand that you mean I’m being unnecessarily pedantic, but I feel like in this particular case “everybody” actually has to mean everybody, or else the whole point is moot. There’s very little value in saying “some people deserve love” or even “most people deserve love”.
No u
