TYPE: ARGUMENT
Question: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others
believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
Opening Paragraph:
Paraphrase: While some people argue that we should emphasize the
importance of competition when teaching children, others
take the view that focusing on cooperation is more
important.
TST : In my opinion, it is better for children to be taught to cooperate.
Outline : Those perspectives above will be analysed in this essay, followed
by befitting examples and also ended with a logical conclusion. (59
words)
Body 1:
Topic Sentence 1 : On one side of the argument, there are people who
hold the opinion that encouraging competitiveness
in children will yield better results.
Supporting Sentence : The most compelling reason for believing this is that
competitiveness prepares them for life in the real world.
Supporting Detail : When students grow up, for example, they will need to
compete with other students for a place in university.
Concluding Sentence : However, I strongly believe that winning is not
everything.
Supporting Detail : A society focused solely on winning and competing
ignores other important traits like compassion and
generosity. (84 words)
Body 2:
Topic Sentence 2 : Despite these aforementioned views, other people
believe that instilling a sense of cooperation in
children will prove to be more beneficial for society as
a whole.
Supporting Sentence : In society and work, cooperation and teamwork are
both often required.
Supporting Detail : For instance, a company will only achieve its overall goal if
all parts work together and complement each other.
Concluding Sentence: Consequently, I believe that cooperation is an extremely
important value, and has more value over competition.
Supporting Detail : Children who learn that winning against another is not the
most important thing will be more willing to work together
towards achieving their goals. (96 words)
Closing Essay:
Reparaphrse TST : Based on the above discussion, there is a
disagreement in society regarding the effects of
competition on children.
Opinion : I strongly reckon that children should be taught compassion
and core values, as these will have better long-term effects
on society. (40 words)