यह एक काल्पनिक कथा है, जिसका उद्देश्य सिर्फ और सिर्फ हसी ठिठोली करना
है। इसका वास्तविकता से कोई लेना देना नहीं है। कथा मे दिखाए जाने वाले
सभी पात्र भी काल्पनिक है। कृपया करके इन पत्रों को वास्तविकता मैं ना
घुसाए और offend होने की कोशिश न करे। धन्यवाद…….
1. Late arrivals & mails
2. काल्पनिक Interview
3. Mimicry play
Late Arrivals & Mails
Situation:- Avineet sir arrived at office after 10:16 and got a mail of late arrival
immediately.
Avineet sir:- Are yar aaj to phir late ho gya Mai (10:16). Ek kam karta hu jaldi jaldi se entry
krke khud se mail dal deta hu late aane ka, Phir koi tension nahi hai.
At the same time situations in HR cabin.
HR:- Dekhte hai Aaj kon kon late aaya h. Koi badi मछली phasni chahiye aaj to.
Then HR see the name of avineet sir in the list of late employees…..
HR:- Hey bhagwan Teri Lila अपरम्पार Hai. Aaj to avineet pakda gya. Ab fata-fat use mail
bhej deti hu 1st warning ka.
Avineet sir:- Aayyyyiiii…….. ye kya maine to late arrival ka mail bhej Diya h pehle hi, phir ye
kis baat ka warning mail aaya h. Ye HR ka bhi koi Kam time se ho ya na ho warning mails
pehle aa jate h.
Abhi jata hu cabin m bawal krke aata hu usse.
Avineet sir reached at HR cabin.
Avineet sir:- May I come in.
HR:- Yes please come,
Arey avineet kese ho bhyiii? Aaj kal to dikhte hi nahi ho office m kaha rehte ho ab?
Avineet sir:- Bs aaj kal apni koi permanent seat dhundh rha hu Mai to.
Khair ye sab chodiye mai yaha kuch baat krne aaya tha.
HR:- Accha ji, Haa haa btao kese aana hua
Avineet sir:- Ma’am mine late aane ka mail pehle hi kar diya tha to mujhe late warning mail
kyu bheja gya hai? Or Mai to itna late hu bhi ni aaj sirf 1 min. Hi late entry Hui h meri.
HR:- Dekhiye avineet apke mail pe kisi bhi manager ka approval abhi tk nahi aaya h, or
chahe late 1 min. Ho ya 1 ghanta, Rules ke sath no compromise.
Avineet sir:- Hey bhagwan kya जुलम hai Ma’am ye to galat baat h esa ni hona chahiye. Mai
roj der tak rukta hu uske liye to kuch nahi Kiya apne.
HR:- Arey avineet esa kuch ni h aap apna mail Approved Kara lo then Mai apna attendance
late count nahi krungi, Simple.
Avineet:- thik hai ma’am Karta hu.
HR:- Avineet wait…… smile……..
Avineet sir:- Heheehhee…… (Click Click Click)
HR:- Avineet aaj aap i-card bhi pehen kar nahi aaye ab ₹100/- ka fine bhi Dena pdega
(Hahaha)
Avineet sir:- Thik h phir meri aaj ki leave hi laga do m jaa raha hu.
HR:- Arey avineet ek min…..
Avineet sir:- Khatam, tata, bye bye, Goodbye, Gaya
काल्पनिक Interview
Situation:- A candidate come for the interview in KGS and he is ready to start his
career in any field.
Characters:- Candidate, Sr.HR (1) and HR executive (2)
Now Candidate arrived at office and he is going in HR cabin for the interview process.
Candidate:- (Knock the door with flat hand “thap thap”) May I come in andar ma’am.
HR 1:- (with Shocked & laughing reaction) Yes! Please come in.
Candidate:- Good morning ma’am (wih singing effect)
HR 2:- Dear currently the time is 12:30 so now you have to say good afternoon
Candidate:- Sorry sorry ma’am bhari mistake ho gyi humse.
HR 2:- No issue, Ma’am please now you can start.
HR 1:- Thankyou, So Mr. Mishra please introduce yourself.
Candidate:- Um.. hello ma’am, Hello ma’am
My name is Utam kishor Mishra. Um…I’m from U.P. and I belongs to a very civilized city Meerut.
And my age is…….. 15-September-1995. My father is a farmer and my mother is a foodmaker.
HR 1:- Mr. Mishra what’s your actual age? You told us your D.O.B.
HR 2:- Ma’am he is 28 year old
HR 1:- Did I asked you?
Candidate:- jii ma’am yahi sahi h jo ma’am ne btaya .
HR 1:- Okay then you told that your mother is a foodmaker.
Candidate:- jii ma’am
HR 1:- In which restaurant or hotel?
Candidate:- madam hum Hindi baat kar skte hai?
HR 1:- okay Hindi m hi baat krte h. To apne btaya apki mother khana bnati h to konse resturant
ya hotel m job krti hai wo.
Candidate:- ma’am ji to ese puchna tha na, nahi nahi wo to ghar hi sare kam krti h job ni krti
wo.
HR 1:- okay, To Mr. Mishra , kis post ke liye apply Kiya tha apne humare yaha.
Candidate:- Madam ji wo to aap btaoge hume to yaad ni h kyuki humne bhut pehle apply Kiya
tha interview aaj hua h, lekin haa aap kisi bhi post ke liye rakh lijiye.
HR 2:- Dekhiye ese ni hota h apko hi hume btana padega apne kis liye apply Kiya hai.
HR 1:- (In a loud tone) Mai baat kar Rahi hu na to.
Dekhiye ese nahi hota h apko hi hume btana padega apne kis liye apply Kiya h.
Candidate:- Ma’am aap options dijiye hume yaad ayega to bata denge.
HR 1:- Dekhiye ese options to hum ni de payenge aapke CV ke according dekhte aap kis role ke
liye perfect ho.
Apke CV m likha h apko Excel aata h aache se??
Candidate:- Nahi madam ye kese ho skta h mujhe to small size aata h XL m to m uncle type laga
krunga.
HR 2:- Are kehna kya chahte ho, Mishra ji Microsoft Excel puch rhe h wo aata hai?
HR 1:- Mai kar Rahi hu na yrr plzz disturb ni Karo.
Are kehna kya chahte ho,Mishra ji Microsoft Excel puch rhe h wo aata hai?
Candidate:- madam ji thoda thoda Kam aata h. Bs uska baki Sikh lenge kam karte karte
HR 1:- Print nikalna aata h apko ?
Candidate:- Yes ma’am mai mujhe bhut ache se print karna aata h master hu ek dum master,
bachpan Mai trace paper se bhut drawings print kri hai dost ki copy se apni copy Mai
HR 2:- Arey bhyii Print machine se print nikal a aata hai ya nahi ?
HR 1:- Again….. (to HR 2)
Arey bhyii Print machine se print nikal a aata hai ya nahi ?
Candidate:- Nahi madam ye to ni aata hai.
HR 1:- To sir apko kya aata h apki kya skill hai aap khud hi btaiye?
Candidate:- Madam I’m punctual and smart Thinker.
HR 2:- Punctual and smart Thinker aap?
Pure 2 ghanta late aaye ho aap upr se CV ka print bhi yahi se nikalwaya hai.
HR 1:- enough now HR 2 please go and manage today’s attandance data.
HR 1:- Punctual and smart Thinker aap?
Pure 2 ghanta late aaye ho aap upr se CV ka print bhi yahi se nikalwaya hai.
Candidate:- Um… sorry ma’am galti se ho gya.
HR 1:- Wese apke bethne ka or baat krne ka tarika interview ke hisab se jyada casual nahi hai?
Candidate:- Madam apne hi to call pe kaha tha proper office casuals m aana h interview ke liye.
HR 1:- leo, Lio Lio ab ye bhi meri galti. Mera mtlb tha casual shirt, pant or shoes m ese casual
behaviour ko nahi bola tha.
Dekhiye hum apko hier krenge ya nahi ye to hum apko management se confirm karke btayenge
uske alava kuch guidelines m apko bta deti hu humare office ki…….
Or koi question hai apke?
Candidate:- Ma’am PF kitna percent katega salary se?
HR 1:- Dekhiye iska answer to apko management se hi puchna hoga…
Candidate:- Ma’am ab mujhe rukna h ya m jau?
HR 1:- Dekhiye m iska answer to apko management se hi puchna hoga…..
